


It's a Little Bit Funny (This Feeling Inside)

by accordingtomel



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-28
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-13 01:26:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 48,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accordingtomel/pseuds/accordingtomel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an editing error accidentally makes it on the air, Bradley is forced to take a step back and re-evaluate his relationship with his co-star.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally posted on the [kinkme_merlin](http://kinkme-merlin.livejournal.com/) prompt here. It was edited, betaed and then reposted on [Livejournal](http://accordingtomel.livejournal.com/146879.html) in March of 2011. Many thanks to the wonderful [adelagia](http://adelagia.livejournal.com/) for the beta and to [ellasphere](http://ellasphere.livejournal.com/) for the Brit-pick. Their assistance was invaluable. Many, many thanks also go to everyone who's read and commented on this fic both at the KMM & on my LJ! :)

To be honest, Bradley is not entirely sure when this all happened, how he somehow ends up standing outside Colin’s flat at one o’clock in the morning, drenched from head to toe from the thunderstorm raging outside. The image – this entire _scenario_ – is so utterly cliché that Bradley almost wants to laugh.

But he doesn’t laugh, because there’s probably only so much madness Colin Morgan can handle at any given time from Bradley, and he thinks he’s already gone far past his quota in the last few weeks. Everyone has their limits, after all.

Several moments pass after he rings the buzzer, and then several more, before Bradley starts to think this was a bloody fucking _stupid_ idea. It’s a Friday night, so either Colin got sick of sitting around the flat by himself and is out somewhere with friends, or he’s sleeping, and Bradley’s just gone and woken him up. Neither option leaves Bradley feeling very good. He shakes his head in frustration, making the decision to leave, just get the hell out of here as fast as he can and save whatever face he has left, but he is stopped in his tracks as the door pulls open to reveal an extremely puzzled-looking, and very much awake, Colin.

A single eyebrow arches high on his forehead. “Bradley?” He squints, and then adds, “How did you get into the building?

Bradley shoots him a sheepish smile. “I, uh, snuck in with some bloke. From the fifth floor, I think. He was too pissed to even notice me.”

“Glad to know this place has such good security.”

“Yeah, you might want to talk to someone about that,” Bradley jokes, playing absently with the frayed cuff of his sweatshirt.

Colin’s other eyebrow joins the first, and he graces Bradley with a hesitant smirk himself before gesturing towards Bradley’s hapless appearance. “What happened to you? Why are you all wet?”

“Would you believe I’ve been walking in the rain for the past hour?”

A thoughtful look passes over Colin’s face, like he truly doesn’t even know what to make of Bradley sometimes, but he moves away from the doorway finally to allow Bradley to step over the threshold. “If you were anyone else, I might not. But I can honestly say that there’s not much you could do to surprise me any longer.”

_Just you wait until you hear what I have to say,_ Bradley thinks, but he doesn’t voice it. Instead, he presses the door closed behind him and toes off his trainers awkwardly. He’s trying not to drip water everywhere, but it’s sort of difficult, what with him being rain-soaked and all.

“Uh, mate, do you think...?”

But Colin is already one step ahead of him, retreating down the hall even before the words have left Bradley’s mouth, and returning a couple of minutes later. “Here. Dry yourself off. You can put on the clothes at the end of my bed,” Colin says as he hands a towel to Bradley.

Bradley accepts the towel and attempts to mop up as much water as he can before hurriedly making his way to Colin’s room and snatching the spare clothes from the end of his bed. Once Bradley is changed and significantly drier, he joins Colin in the kitchen, trying very hard not to think about the fact that he is _wearing Colin’s clothing._ It has his scent – all musky with faint hints of his eco-friendly detergent – and it causes Bradley’s breath to catch in his throat.

“You want some water or tea or something?” Colin asks, even as he’s already filling a kettle, scratching the back of his head a little awkwardly.

“Only if you’re making something,” Bradley replies, shooting him an appreciative look.

A heavy silence fills the room as Colin quietly prepares some tea for them. He must be wondering what Bradley’s doing here, and is well within his right to do so. Bradley has been acting madder lately than he ever has before, and that’s saying something. Considering the last conversation they had, Bradley’s grateful Colin didn’t send him back out into the rain straight away, and he is instantly grateful for Colin’s ceaseless patience and endless understanding.

“So, not that a late night visit isn’t appreciated,” Colin finally says, breaking the silence, and smiles despite the concern that is playing across his features. “But why are you here?”

He sets down a coffee mug filled with tea in front of Bradley, exactly how he likes it – of course Colin knows; he seems to know everything about Bradley – and takes a seat across the table from him, waiting expectantly.

For a second, Bradley blanches, again thinking this was all a terrible mistake. It’d seemed like a brilliant idea a few hours ago, but now? Now he’s certain it isn’t. But he knows exactly why he’s here, and considering the fact that he’s sat at Colin’s kitchen table, wearing his clothes and drinking his tea, the least he owes him is an explanation. 

So before he can stop himself, Bradley blurts out the words, “I have more chemistry with you than I do with Angel.”

In all the numerous scenarios that had played through Bradley’s mind on his hour-long trudge through the rain about how he was going to start this conversation, he can honestly say that _this_ never once factored into the equation.

Colin eyes Bradley as though he suspects Bradley might finally have stepped over the edge for good this time. “What are you on about?”

Since he’s feeling a bit like an idiot and would like a moment to recover, Bradley does the only logical thing he can think of, and takes a large gulp of his tea. Which is, of course, still quite hot, and he can feel the liquid burn as it slithers down his throat. He mentally adds this decision to his _‘Not Actually As Brilliant As I First Thought’_ list, which has grown quite lengthy over the past several months.

“Bloody hell,” Bradley sputters, clutching at his neck. He shakes his head a few times as if that will do something to soothe the pain. It doesn’t.

“Did you forget that tea is hot?” Colin asks, voice a mixture of concern and gentle exasperation, even as he’s already on his feet, retrieving a glass of cool water for Bradley.

The water is gratefully accepted, and Bradley downs the entire cup in one go. “No, I’m just an idiot,” he says, offering a cautious smile in return.

“Clearly,” Colin replies, but he’s looking at Bradley with something resembling fondness, and it makes Bradley’s heart flip in his chest for a moment before he shoves the thought aside.

“Maybe we should go and sit in the living room instead?” Colin suggests with a shrug. “I have a feeling we might be here for a while, yeah?”

“Er, maybe,” Bradley says and follows Colin dumbly down the hall, tea still in hand even though he thinks his throat won’t be able to handle any more of it right now.

They each take a spot on opposite ends of the sofa, angled towards one another, and Bradley throws his left arm over the back of the sofa casually.

Setting his tea down on the end table, Bradley clears his throat and attempts to muster up the courage he needs to tell Colin everything he came here to tell him.

“So—” is as far as he gets before silence takes over again, and he feels a bit like a coward.

“So. You were saying something about chemistry?” Colin prompts when Bradley doesn’t say anything for several moments. He feels fingers brush against the back of his hand then, unsure if it is a tap or a caress (he’s probably projecting, he reminds himself), and Bradley’s gaze darts up, first to the spot where Colin’s touching his hand, then to Colin.

Almost instantly, Bradley feels his face warm, as if he were a schoolgirl with a crush, and he finds he can’t hold the gaze. It merely serves as yet another reminder that he is right and truly buggered. Subtlety has never been Bradley James’ strong suit, and for a second he wonders if Colin could figure out everything running through his mind without even having to utter one word.

Swallowing the lump of anxiety in his throat, Bradley forces himself to soldier on, hoping it will become easier once he actually starts talking.

“Um, yeah. Er, I suppose I should just start at the beginning,” Bradley says, purposefully picking out a spot on the sofa to focus his attention on, as looking at Colin for any length of time right now might be a bit more challenging than his tired and distracted brain can handle.

The beginning. Figuring that out will be a little on the tricky side, seeing as how everything sort of happened out of order. But he’s pretty sure he can trace the start back to the one night when the pieces began to slowly fall into place, even if he didn’t know at that time where it would lead him.

* * *

** Four Months Earlier **

It is the second Saturday in November, and Bradley has plans to get together with a couple of his mates from high school. They haven't seen one another in months now, due to the hectic filming schedule required while working on _Merlin_ , and Bradley is glad for the opportunity to see them again. The third series wrapped up just over a month ago but Bradley has barely had any time to enjoy the break. Promotional events, interviews, visits home, and then catching a cold have taken up most of his time.

Everything was going fine for the last week until Bradley somehow managed to contract the stomach flu, or food poisoning – possibly both – the day prior, and his social plans aren’t looking too promising any longer.

Rolling over, Bradley blindly fumbles around his night table, trying and failing to locate his mobile. On the third try he manages to close fingers around the familiar device, and quickly punches in the number he’s been avoiding dialling all day. It’s still a few hours before they are supposed to meet up at a nearby pub, so that should give them enough time to make new plans, if need be.

Settling back against the pillows, Bradley waits for someone to answer, praying that the sudden churning in his stomach will hold off for a few minutes. The thought of racing to the loo while John hears him retching through the line isn’t an overly appealing one.

The phone is picked up on the fourth ring. “Bradley! About time I hear from your sorry arse. I was beginning to think you were going to cancel on us tonight.”

Even though this is very much not his fault, Bradley feels guilty anyway. “Actually, about tonight...”

“Shit, don’t tell me you _are_ cancelling. Toby and I haven’t seen you in months, mate.”

Bradley sighs, swiping a hand down his face. “I know, and believe me, I’d rather not.” He proceeds to explain the situation, in graphic detail, until it begins to make his own stomach roil over again, and he decides it might be wise to _prevent_ instead of encourage another run to the loo.

After John lays into him for being unnecessarily descriptive, he switches tactics and offers up an alternative suggestion. “Why don’t we just come over to your flat instead?”

There really is no arguing with logic like that. So that’s how, just over three hours later, Bradley winds up wrapped in a blanket on his sofa, looking slightly better than death warmed over, Toby and John making themselves comfortable while keeping a safe distance from him.

They spend the first hour chatting and catching up, Bradley enjoying the company of friends he’s spent far too little time with over the past couple of years, but it quickly becomes apparent that Bradley won’t last long in the state he’s currently in.

He makes one failed attempt at trying to convince them to watch _Labyrinth_. Bradley considers it his ‘feel good film’, perfect for taking away all manner of illness, but apparently his so-called friends don’t agree.

“Let’s just see what’s on the telly,” Toby suggests instead. Bradley pouts. They wouldn’t know a good movie if it kicked them in the arse. But he is too weak to fight them on this, so he reluctantly acquiesces.

Somehow they wind up watching the latter half of _Strictly Come Dancing_ \-- and Bradley’s not one to judge or anything, but he sort of thinks this is actually quite a lot worse than _Labyrinth_ \-- and it’s immediately clear that none of these celebrities can compare to the awesome power of David Bowie.

Bradley manages to watch the dances without heaving, which he considers to be a feat in the end. He realises then that _Merlin_ is scheduled to air next, and makes to change the channel.

“Oi, mate! What are you doing?” Toby cries, reaching to snatch the remote from his weakened grasp.

“You don’t seriously want to watch this, do you?”

“Course we do, right, Johnny?”

John looks a bit surprised, but quickly recovers. “Sure. We want to see the reason you haven’t had time for us over the past eight months,” he adds with a laugh.

Bradley wants to argue, but in the end he decides it isn’t worth the effort, and they settle down to watch _Merlin_.

The episode is good, and it's one that Bradley hasn't seen yet. In fact, the only episodes of the series he's managed to watch thus far were the first two that were aired at the BFI screening in September, and the two others for which he provided commentary. Long hours and hectic days of filming multiple episodes at once have blurred the lines between the different scenes, so it's nice to actually see the episode in its final form.

Bradley has two thoughts almost instantly. The first is that Merlin is sad _far_ too frequently for Bradley’s liking. It’s bad enough sitting through take after take after take of Colin crying while Bradley is lying on the ground and can’t _do_ anything about it. But when he’s in tears almost every other episode, it just gets to be a bit much. This first scene happens to be one of Merlin’s more emotional moments, and Bradley has a sudden flashback of having to completely ignore him. Again.

The thought that immediately follows, though it isn’t expressly related, is just how much he actually _misses_ everyone. It’s great to have a break from filming, but over the past three years, the cast and crew of _Merlin_ have become like family, and seeing his co-stars on screen again makes Bradley wish they were there with him, all of a sudden.

Shaking his head, he returns his scattered thoughts to the episode on the screen. It doesn’t take long to get drawn into the plot, as it is one of the more intense episodes of the season, and even Toby and John seem to be enjoying themselves, if the random comments are any indication.

“You been working out, mate?” Toby teases, partway through. “Arthur seems to spend a lot of time shirtless.”

Bradley glances around for something to throw at him, but the only items he finds are either too lightweight to cause any damage, or too heavy to be considered safe. He settles on making a rude gesture instead, though it doesn’t quite bring the same level of satisfaction.

While this is one of the few episodes this series that has a strong focus on Arthur and Merlin, there is an important scene featuring Arthur and Gwen towards the latter half of the episode that helps to set up a plot point that will continue until the end of this series. While Bradley sometimes questions the way that the dynamic between them has been written – only in that it feels inconsistent at times, and that both he and Angel agree there is no need to rush this romance – he has to admit that he quite fancies the way this particular scene came out in the end.

Arthur has been injured after being knocked unconscious while out with Merlin – and really, Bradley thinks that there's only so much longer they can keep using _that_ plot device before people start thinking the future king is suffering from a mental affliction of his own – and he is being tended to by Gwen in his chambers later that evening.

“This really isn’t necessary, Gwen,” Arthur says, watching her as she finishes cleaning the cut on the side of his head.

“I know,” she says with a smile, “but while you’re running around looking after everyone else, who’s looking after you?”

“I don’t need anyone to look after me.”

A tiny smirk forms on Gwen’s lips. “Well, you might want to tell that to your head, sire,” she says, gesturing to his injury.

Arthur lifts a shoulder and stares at Gwen, a fond expression on his face. “Well, someone has to take care of Merlin. He’d walk himself off a cliff without noticing if I wasn’t around.”

Gwen places the cloth on Arthur’s table, turning back to face him. She chuckles softly, knowingly. “And this is just one of the many reasons why I know you will make a fantastic king someday. You don’t just rule the people, you _care_ about them, too.”

They stare at one another in silence as the camera focuses on Arthur’s face. He is smiling gently, and it is filled with warmth and affection. “I may care about the people,” Arthur says, “but there are some who mean slightly more to me than others.” He shoots her a significant look, implication hanging in the air.

And then the shot changes as the camera pulls away, revealing Arthur, as he gazes affectionately at—

“Merlin?!”

Bradley’s eyes widen, mouth falling open of its own accord, and he wonders what the hell just happened. 

The entire moment lasts no more than a few seconds, and as the shot cuts away once again, Arthur is standing across from Gwen as he always should have been. But it’s most definitely enough time for people to notice, and there is no doubt that they _will_ notice.

John is the first of the three to speak again. “What was that?”

“I don't know...” Bradley shakes his head, at a complete loss.

“Why was Merlin there?” Toby asks.

That’s what Bradley would like to know. There’s something niggling at the back of his mind, something related to this particular scene, but he can’t quite grasp it. 

“I wish I knew,” is all Bradley can think of to say. “But it looked like a different scene. Maybe they made an error when putting the final product together.”

He shrugs casually, hoping his friends will take his word for it, even as the words ring false in his own ears.

“Maybe it was a projection,” John suggests, gesturing between the television and Bradley, “implying that Arthur has _other_ people on his mind than just Gwen?” The knowing glance he shoots Bradley is annoying enough, but when the arsehole starts to wiggle his eyebrows, he runs the risk of being punched instead. Even with the stomach-flu-slash-food-poisoning bringing down his normal strength and abilities, Bradley thinks he could still take John on if need be.

Toby blinks, as if he's entirely lost, confusion clear. “I thought Arthur was in love with Gwen.”

“He is,” Bradley says uncertainly.

“That's not what the internet thinks,” John adds, continuing to smile mischievously, like he knows a special secret that nobody else does.

If looks could kill, John would have died five times over already. Unfortunately, they can’t, much to Bradley’s chagrin. “Don’t you bloody start talking about _that_.”

“Why not? It’s true, isn’t it?”

“What are you two on about?” Toby interjects, still as lost as before.

John either doesn’t see or chooses to completely ignore the venomous warning glares coming from Bradley’s direction, though he suspects the latter to be true, the little wanker. “Seems like there are a lot of people online who think Arthur and Merlin are shagging.”

“No fucking way. You’re taking the piss,” Toby accuses, eyes widening dramatically.

“Why would I lie about that? Do you have any idea what pops up when you google ‘Merlin and Arthur’? Never mind what’s on the fan websites.”

“What’s there?” Toby sounds far too eager, which seems to only fuel John’s fire.

Warmth seeps up the back of Bradley’s neck, because he knows _exactly_ what’s there and what some people think when they watch Arthur and Merlin interact, and it’s not really the sort of conversation he wants to be having with two of his best mates while he’s sick.

“Stories, pictures and conversations about Arthur and Merlin being in love and snogging and shagging, and things like that.” Their old English teacher would weep if he heard a sentence containing that many ‘and’s. In fact, Bradley sort of wants to cry right now too.

“Why the hell were you even online searching for information about _Merlin_ in the first place?” Bradley jumps in before Toby can respond, hoping to salvage the conversation before it spirals completely out of control, though it’s nearly there already.

John shrugs, folding his arms across his chest. “I was bored one night so I decided to see what kind of things people were saying about you on the internet. Sure as hell didn’t expect what I found, I’ll tell you that much, mate.”

“I’m well aware,” is all Bradley says. He is grateful, then, for the stomach flu, which gives him a ready excuse, should anyone ask why he appears flushed.

Toby stares at them both, forehead crinkled, dumbfounded expression still plastered across his face. “So you mean to tell me that people think Arthur and Merlin are, like, _gay_? With _each other_?”

_God, Toby is an idiot_ , Bradley can’t help but think. Thankfully he’s a loyal friend with a kind heart and a face that women seem to adore, because he sure doesn’t have a hell of a lot else going on for him.

“Yes. Some of the fans think that Merlin and Arthur are more than just friends,” Bradley explains, his tone distinctly long-suffering. “But that’s not true on the actual show.”

“Then what was that all about?” Toby gestures towards the TV, which is now displaying the ending credits. So much for finding out how the rest turns out, even though Bradley technically knows.

“Like I say, it was probably just an editing error in post-production. It happens all the time.”

It’s a lie. This has happened on occasion in the past, but this is by no means a frequent occurrence. And especially not with something quite this obvious. But Toby and John won’t know that. Besides, it wasn't anything inappropriate, but it's likely that the BBC will still be receiving a lot of calls anyway. Bradley doesn't permit his mind to contemplate how a _certain_ subsection of their fanbase will, in all likelihood, _explode_ over this whole mistake, while another may react the opposite way.

John raises an eyebrow sceptically. “That's quite the error,” he points out, and Bradley would like to smack him for being so bloody obnoxious this evening. Then again, perhaps he deserves it for being such a terrible friend, most of the time.

Nevertheless, Bradley is forced to agree. “Yes, well, what do you expect me to do about it?”

“Nothing. I’m just making a point.”

He’s not certain he even wants to know what that point is, and is thankful when Toby doesn’t ask for more details.

Miraculously, the conversation eventually manages to steer itself away from _Merlin_ , the editing error, and the ‘gay debate’ – and Bradley is both amazed and eternally grateful that the topic managed to remain solely on Arthur and Merlin, never once drifting in another logical direction. Though Bradley quickly loses steam from that point on, exhaustion kicking in while his mind simultaneously remains focused elsewhere (though he’d rather not provide details).

Another hour and a half passes, and by that time, Bradley has all but passed out on the end of his sofa.

“I think we should probably go home,” John finally suggests, taking pity on Bradley’s sorry state. “You look beyond knackered.” No one disagrees.

Somehow Bradley manages to drag himself up off the sofa and see his friends out with the promise of going to the pub in a week or two, when he’s feeling rested and healthy again. Stumbling back to his bedroom, Bradley is barely able to shuck his jeans and t-shirt before nearly collapsing into his bed, and he is sound asleep by the time his head hits the pillow.

~*~

Sunlight streams through the curtains, filling the room with a warm glow, when Bradley finally opens his eyes, the last wisps of his dream floating away into oblivion as he regains consciousness.

The first thought dancing around at the forefront of his mind has to do with Colin, though it’s vague and unclear, and he chalks it up to memories of the editing error from last night’s episode of _Merlin_. Speaking of which, he resolves to give Colin a ring later to see what he thought of the whole thing.

Bradley takes several minutes to simply enjoy his lie in, and the fact that he hasn’t had to run to the loo to vomit since late yesterday afternoon. Eventually he climbs out of bed, padding across the room to the bathroom, stumbling into the shower. He takes a ridiculously long time, even for him, taking joy in the fact that he has no place to be today.

By the time he wanders into the kitchen nearly an hour later, his stomach – almost as if on cue – begins to growl, indicating for the first time in two days that it actually desires something that won’t immediately come right back up again.

Half an hour later, Bradley has managed to eat a bowl of soup and his stomach hasn’t protested once, so he considers the whole endeavour a relative success.

Bradley’s mum calls him on his mobile just as he finishes washing the dishes (and wouldn’t she be proud of him right now).

“Hello, Mum,” he says into the phone with a smile, wandering back into the bedroom.

“Hi, love, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. Even ate some soup today.”

“Isn’t it a bit early for that still, Bradley?”

He does his best not to roll his eyes, biting back the sarcastic remark he wants to make. No matter how old Bradley gets, his mum never seems to be able to stop mothering him. “I haven’t eaten real food in over two days. I was hungry. It’s fine, but thank you for your concern.”

Of course, she can’t quite let it go just like that, so Bradley endures a few more pointless questions and does his best to reassure her that he’s not going to die.

They talk about his sister and her latest shenanigans for a few minutes before she gets to the real reason she called, apparently. “So I was watching _Merlin_ last night, and I noticed something interesting.”

“Oh, yeah?” Bradley settles back against the pillows in his bed, trying not to smile too much. It is the same thing every Sunday – his mother calls to tell him she saw him on the show, and to talk about whatever random thoughts she might have. He strongly suspects he knows what she’s going to say today, though.

“Yeah. I noticed partway through that you cut your hair.”

Bradley blinks. In all honesty, that was _not_ what he’d been anticipating at all. In fact, he’s amazed she even noticed something that insignificant. He can’t remember if that’d even happened, but his mother has yet to be wrong about something like this, so he trusts that she’s probably correct in her assertion.

“Are you serious, Mum? Of all things to pay attention to, you noticed that my hair was trimmed?”

The shrug is almost audible through the phone line. “I can’t help that I pay attention to details about my baby.”

Bradley groans. “Mum, please don’t say things like that.”

“Why not? I know you’re a grown man, but that doesn’t make me any less proud of you, or any less of a mum.”

And really, what is he supposed to say to that?

They talk for a few more minutes, Bradley learning that she’d missed the last fifteen minutes of _Merlin_ , and for some really odd reason, he feels relief, even though there is no logical reason for the reaction. When she finally hangs up, Bradley feels worn out again and considers taking another nap.

Instead, he makes his way over to his laptop, sinking into the desk chair and flipping open the cover. It doesn’t take long for Bradley to find a download link to the previous night’s episode, and after a moment’s hesitation, he clicks on it. He can’t seem to get that editing error out of his mind, and for some inexplicable reason, Bradley feels the need to re-watch it in order to figure out what scene was accidentally spliced into the original one.

While he waits for the download to finish, Bradley checks his e-mail, and finds that he has four. The first is from John, making sure he’s still alive and inviting him to a party tonight, if he’s up for it. Bradley closes the e-mail and moves onto the next, both of which happen to be junk mail. After deleting them, Bradley is pleasantly surprised to see an e-mail from none other than Colin.

_**To:** bradleydotjames@gmail.co.uk  
 **From:** colin_i_morgan@gmail.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Hey!_

_Hey Bradley,_

_Just wanted to let you know that I’ll be in town next week. If you have some free time we should go to the pub or see a film or something. Let me know._

_Colin_

Bradley smiles to himself and immediately clicks the ‘reply’ button.

_**To:** colin_i_morgan@gmail.co.uk  
 **From:** bradleydotjames@gmail.co.uk  
 **Subject:** Not very creative, Morgan._

_Hey Col,_

_Are you asking me out? How very bold of you. My schedule these days is quite hectic, but I’m sure I can manage to squeeze you in somehow. Give me a ring when you get into town._

_Looking forward to it,  
Bradley_

He stares at that last line for a few seconds before determining that it sounds a little too eager, and decides to delete it instead.

The download finishes, and Bradley opens up the episode on his laptop, scrolling through to the scene in question. He watches it twice before pausing right after the shot zooms away to reveal Merlin standing in Gwen’s place. Something is still bothering him about this scene, and he’s determined to figure out what episode this is from. Their positions in the room are almost exactly the same as Arthur and Gwen’s were, but that’s not entirely odd. A great number of scenes are filmed in Arthur’s chambers, and that doesn’t help narrow things down.

What _does_ stand out, however, are the two goblets and a flower-filled vase resting on the table just behind Merlin’s arm. Those are props that are not regularly in Arthur’s chambers. In fact, Bradley is quite sure that they were only present for that particular episode. And the only other Arthur and Merlin scenes in this episode were outside of Arthur’s chambers. Which means that this scene must, in theory, be the same as the Arthur-Gwen one. But that doesn’t make any sense, and Bradley can’t figure out why they would’ve filmed the same scene twice but with different people, especially when it was written specifically for Gwen and Arthur.

He ponders this notion for quite a while, coming up with nothing. And then, Bradley remembers.

~*~

 _It is the last major scene to film for the day, but unlike Angel, Bradley needs to stick around to finish up a couple of night-time reshoots with Colin. He’s tired just thinking about it, as it’s been an exhausting week of shooting, both physically and mentally. The current scene is run only once before the director, Paul, puts a temporary halt to the shooting._

_“Take five,” he says, rushing across the room without further explanation._

_Bradley raises a brow, noticing in that moment that Angel is been carted off somewhere – probably to make-up or wardrobe or something, even though she seemed fine a moment before – and shrugs._

_“We need to make some adjustments to the camera angles,” Paul announces, out of the blue a few minutes later._

_He is about to go find something to drink, since this issue apparently isn’t about to be resolved in the next thirty seconds when he is stopped by someone yelling at him. “Stay in place, Bradley. We're making some changes to the camera angle and lighting, and we need you to hold your spot while we do that.” So he does as he's told._

_Many boring minutes later, and Paul is grumbling at several people simultaneously about something that Bradley doesn’t particularly care all that much about. It’s at this time that Bradley notices Colin making his way onto the set, presumably finished with his own individual scenes for the day. He is about to call out to him, but apparently isn’t quick enough._

_“Colin!” Paul gestures him over from the side of the room. “I need you to step in for Angel for a second.”_

_They share a bemused look, but Colin is ever the consummate professional, and he merely shrugs and makes his way over to Bradley, completely unfazed. Someone wrangles them into the proper positions and gives them firm instructions to stay put._

_“Not that I'm complaining or anything,” Bradley says, loudly, to no one in particular, “but isn't there a bit of a height difference between Angel and Colin? If you're trying to adjust the cameras and all that, I mean.”_

_Nothing but silence meets his protest, and Colin, who seems to find this terribly amusing, snickers. “I think I could probably pass as Angel, yeah?”_

_Bradley scratches his chin with mock thoughtfulness. “Well, you're not quite as _pretty_ –” His words are cut short by a shove to the shoulder._

_“Ow! No rough-housing, Morgan. Sometimes the truth hurts.”_

_“Or you’re just a big baby,” Colin points out ever so helpfully, mischievous glint in his eyes._

_Their argument is promptly interrupted by the director again. “Can you guys run the scene please?”_

_Colin blinks. Bradley snorts incredulously, turning to stare at Paul. “You do realise that Colin isn’t actually in this scene, right?”_

_“Yes. But do it anyway. We’re pressed for time.” He waves a dismissive hand at them. “Bradley, just say your lines, and Colin, ad-lib.”_

_And that is that, apparently. Paul moves with lightning speed back to the other side of the room and in less than a minute, he seems ready to begin._

_Colin leans in close. “Should I be holding your hands?” he whispers teasingly._

_“You wish,” Bradley says with a grin, poking him in the ribs for good measure. But then he remembers himself and takes a moment to get into the correct frame of mind, even if it is just a run through with the wrong person._

_“Okay, take this seriously and we’ll get the test done in one shot,” Paul calls out. “And… action!”_

_“This isn’t really necessary, Gwen,” Bradley says, mentally trying to superimpose Angel’s face onto Colin’s, with little success._

_“I’m quite certain it is,” Colin replies._

_“I don’t need anyone to look after me.”_

_“Yeah, no one except Merlin, that is.” Colin’s lips pull up into a tiny grin, and Bradley has to fight to keep from laughing._

_By the time they finish the lines, Bradley is so absorbed in what he’s doing that he is almost surprised when he hears, “Cut! That was perfect, thanks.”_

Funny how he'd forgotten about that, Bradley muses. So they’d recorded this little practice scene and it somehow ended up accidentally airing. Interesting… Very interesting.

~*~

The week ends up flying by – reviewing offers from his agent for a couple of projects in January, playing football with some of his mates, reading a book he’s had sitting, untouched, on his night stand for months – so much so that Bradley has almost entirely forgotten about the weird editing error from last week’s episode of _Merlin_. Friday is the only day this week he doesn’t have any definite plans, and decides that a lie in is in order. Unfortunately, that doesn’t quite happen, the shrill ring of his mobile jolting him awake at practically the crack of dawn. Even without the distinct ring tone Bradley has programmed into his phone, he knows there’s only one person who could be calling this early.

“Hello?” he mumbles sleepily into the phone, not even trying to pretend he was already awake.

‘’Lo, Bradley. Did I wake you up?” The sound of the familiar Irish brogue, full of genuine concern, unconsciously pulls Bradley’s mouth into a wide smile.

“Nah. I’m always up before the sun rises,” he jokes, yawning into the back of his hand and reaching over to flick on the bedside lamp. The light is nearly blinding. Bradley quickly shields his face with an arm.

“It’s not _that_ early. But I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Sorry.”

“Not a problem. What can I do for you?”

“Just wanted to let you know I’ll be in London on Sunday. I’ll be sticking around for a week or two. I promised a friend I’d help out with a stage production he’s putting on, so it’s hard to say right now how long he’ll need me.”

Bradley’s ears perk up at _’a week or two’_. “Where are you staying?”

Colin shrugs. Not that he can see it, but sometimes Bradley just knows these things. “Some expensive hotel, since most of the rest are full, it would seem.”

The words are out of his mouth before he even has time to process them. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can stay with me.”

“Nah, I couldn't impose on you like that, Bradley.”

“It's not an imposition. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want you to.”

“Yeah, but I'm messy and I wake up early. I can't put you out for more than a week.”

Bradley eyes the state of his flat and bites back a laugh. From the looks of things, that shouldn’t be a problem. “You are _not_ messy, Colin. I've seen your hotel room. I'm the one you should be concerned about.”

There is a lengthy pause, and Bradley can almost _hear_ Colin's mind changing. “What about the hotel reservations?”

“Cancel them. You shouldn't be charged if you give them two days’ notice, right?”

“I suppose not,” he says, reluctantly, and then, “but you only have one bed.”

This time, Bradley does laugh. “I can sleep on the sofa.”

“That can't be comfortable.”

“It's fine. In fact, when I first moved in I didn't even have a bed. Had to sleep on it for more than two weeks before my bed finally arrived. It was great!” And okay, so maybe it's a slight exaggeration – he'd only slept there for five or six days, at most, and it certainly wasn't the best night's sleep he'd ever had. But Bradley won't stand for Colin staying at a hotel and paying money when he could just as easily spend the week at Bradley's flat instead. Colin is the most courteous person Bradley's ever met, and he knows there won't be any issues with them rooming together. Plus, he has to admit that he's been feeling a bit lonely as of late. It'll be nice to have some company again, and it doesn't hurt that said company happens to be one of his best mates.

“Well, I don't know...”

“ _Colin_.” He is using his 'imploring' voice. It usually works well on unsuspecting victims, and particularly so with Colin, though he has yet to do research to determine why that is. Katie often refers to it as his 'whining' voice instead, but she’s really a demon in disguise – of this, Bradley is entirely convinced; he has a large collection of evidence to support the claim – so there is little weight given to anything she has to say on the matter anyway.

A long-suffering sigh filters through the line, and that is all the confirmation Bradley needs to know that he's won this battle.

“As long as you’re sure,” Colin says finally.

“I definitely am,” he says, full of barely concealed excitement. Bradley has spent the vast majority of the past year with Colin and yet he can’t help but look forward to seeing him again. “Now, tell me what time your train arrives Sunday.”

~*~

On Saturday evening, Bradley has nothing better to do, so he decides to watch _Merlin_ again. He considers it a wise decision, especially given the colossal error from last week’s episode.

Everything is fine, at first – nothing out of the ordinary – and Bradley finds himself relaxing. Not a thing to worry about this week. But then that all changes as the episode nears the end. Often Bradley isn’t all that fascinated by the throne room scenes, but he thinks that something occurs in this one that is important for the future of Arthur and Merlin’s friendship, and he can’t help but want to pay attention.

Uther and Arthur are discussing the result of a recent battle, in front of some members of the council. Arthur is outlining what happened and how he and Merlin managed to escape.

It’s obvious that Arthur is watching someone across the room, the way his eyes continually drift away from Uther. Bradley knows that Arthur is watching Merlin, because he happened to be there at the time, but the audience is still none the wiser. The scene progresses, and by the end of it, Arthur’s lips pull up into a small smile as he’s still staring across the room. Bradley is suddenly filled with the intense desire to find out who Arthur is eyeing, even though he knows, and he feels silly for getting so caught up in his own show.

And then, Bradley receives his second consecutive surprise while watching the show. Arthur is still smiling in a way that looks almost private when the shot cuts away to the opposite end of the room. But instead of cutting to Merlin, the camera cuts straight away to Gwen. Who, during the filming, wasn’t even standing near Merlin, though the audience wouldn’t know that from the way it was filmed.

But Bradley is thoroughly confused, yet again. He knows with absolute certainty that he’d been watching Colin the whole time, as he’d been directed. It didn’t even really make sense in context of the scene to cut to Gwen, and yet that’s exactly what’d happened. This isn’t something that Bradley would normally even pay attention to, but after last week’s obvious error, he finds he can’t help but pay a bit more attention than usual, and for good reason, it would seem.

Of course, it’s equally possible that he’s simply remembering wrong and jumping to ridiculous conclusions. After a while he decides that he’s probably over-reacting and chooses to forget about the whole thing. It’s not really that important, after all. 

Besides, Bradley has more pressing things to think about. Namely, the arrival of his guest the following day, and what he’s going to need to do in preparation.

~*~

Bradley wakes up early Sunday morning with two main goals in mind. The first is to clean his flat from top to bottom so that it can be presentable for Colin. Which is not to say that he lives in utter filth – his mother raised him better than that – but it's been far too long since he's done any sort of thorough clean, and now seems as good a time as any to accomplish that task.

It takes more than two and a half hours, but Bradley is feeling pleased with himself when he finally finishes cleaning, and rightfully so. He's vacuumed, dusted, swept, mopped, cleaned every inch of the bathroom, done the laundry, and even emptied out the spoiled food in the fridge. He flops back onto the bed with an exhausted sigh – which he's made, by the way, for the first time in close to a month – throwing one arm over his eyes while the other flings a rag haphazardly across the room into the dirty laundry basket.

He permits himself ten minutes to rest before setting out to accomplish goal number two: grocery shopping. Bradley’s fridge isn’t exactly equipped for the likes of a vegetarian – and one who’s highly allergic to everything delicious, if you ask him – so he’s made a list of some of the things he hopes will be all right for Colin to eat. Bradley hasn’t exactly kept track of every little thing that Colin likes (or won’t eat), but he knows his allergies at least, so that should logically be a decent place to start.

By the time he returns from the Tesco, it’s nearly time to pick up Colin. After putting away the food and double-checking the train schedule one last time, Bradley heads out to retrieve his house guest.

The station is busy, which is not much of a surprise, and Bradley just hopes that Colin remembers not to take a taxi, that Bradley was planning on picking him up. It would appear that his train arrived just after Bradley did.

He keeps his eyes peeled for his lanky, dark-haired friend amidst the crowds, wondering if a large **’Colin Morgan’** sign might have been a smart idea. Of course, then it would’ve drawn a great deal of attention to the two of them, and Bradley’s quite sure Colin wouldn’t appreciate that too much.

A minute later, Bradley spots him, and is filled with unexpected relief, and a little bit of excitement. As Bradley pushes through the crowd – because he doesn’t think Colin’s actually seen him yet – he briefly contemplates how to greet him. It is not a new debate. Bradley is very physically affectionate with his family and friends; he always has been. But Colin is a little more reserved, only touching Bradley to get his attention or if he gets really worked up about something. The first time they’d reunited after working together on series one, Bradley had enveloped Colin in a bear hug. Colin had patted his back awkwardly until Bradley finally pulled away, smiling in his typical tolerant manner, but it was obvious hugs weren’t really Colin’s thing.

“Colin! Col!” Bradley calls out, waving his hands back and forth without particularly caring that he looks like a fool.

It takes a second or two, but it becomes obvious when Colin notices him finally, waving back as they continue to make their way towards one another.

There are a few options actually. He could hug Colin anyway, and blame it on the excitement of seeing him again. Except Bradley had tried that last time without much success, so perhaps it isn’t the best plan. He could shake Colin’s hand, but that just seems too bloody formal. Besides, Bradley doesn’t greet his mates like that. Then there’s always the tried, test and true method of a firm clap or punch to the shoulder, but that idea isn’t overly appealing to Bradley either. It feels too… _Arthur_ -ish. Not Bradley James-like at all.

“Hey, Bradley,” Colin says, interrupting his thought process as they finally come face to face for the first time in nearly six weeks. It feels both like an eternity and no time at all has passed, if that’s possible.

They stare at each other for several silent seconds, smiling widely, and just when Bradley decides he’s going to go for the manly half-hug, consequences be damned, Colin does something that throws Bradley completely for a loop. He wraps his arms around Bradley and pulls him in for a hug. A _real_ hug, one arm around his waist and the other across his shoulders. Bradley is so surprised that he forgets to react for a moment, but he rectifies it as quickly as possible. This might be the only time Colin is initiating a hug between them, and he’s determined to take advantage of it.

The whole thing ends rather quickly, and when they pull apart it’s possible that Bradley might be grinning like an idiot, because he kind of adores Colin far too much for his own good, but Colin doesn’t seem to care, so neither does Bradley.

Wrapping an arm around Colin’s shoulders – and he’s incredibly grateful when Colin doesn’t shove him off – Bradley steers them towards the car park. “So, how was your trip?”


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Bradley does when they arrive is give Colin a tour of his flat.

“You realise I’ve been here before, right?” Colin points out, about thirty seconds into the grand tour. 

It’s true. He _has_ been to Bradley’s. Twice. But this is entirely different. Then, he was just stopping by briefly; now, he’s staying for an extended visit. There are things he needs to know – like where the towels are kept, how to work the faucets on the shower (because they can be a royal pain in the arse), and other such important information.

Bradley huffs, folding his arms as he turns to stare at Colin. “I’m not sure what your point is.”

Colin quirks a shoulder, grinning. “I have no point, I was just saying…”

“There are things you need to know while you’re rooming at Chez Bradley. For example, what will you do if you want to watch a DVD with surround sound and I’m not here? Or if you’re in the shower and suddenly the water is scalding and you don’t know how to fix it? Do you really want to find out what that feels like, Colin? Do you?”

The amused bark of laughter is answer enough. 

Giving himself a mental pat on the back, Bradley leads Colin down the hall to the bedroom. “You can throw your luggage wherever you like, but I cleaned out a drawer for your things there—” he points to said dresser drawer, “—and you can hang whatever you want in the closet.” He’d made some extra space there as well.

Colin smiles appreciatively at him, dropping his bags at the foot of the bed, then gets this uncertain look about him. “Thanks, Bradley. That’s really kind of you. But are you sure you don’t want to sleep here instead? I can sleep on the sofa. I mean, I’m already putting you out as it is—”

But Bradley holds up a hand, putting a stop to that line of thought immediately. “Like I told you two days ago, the sofa is comfortable, and I wouldn’t have offered my flat if I didn’t want to. So from this point on there’s no more discussion about it, all right?”

Colin nods, raising both hands in surrender. “Okay, fine. I won’t bring it up again. Thank you.”

With that out of the way, Bradley carries on with the tour slash instruction session.

“You can help yourself to anything in the fridge,” he says, pulling it open. “I’m not sure if I have anything you want, exactly. I, uh, went shopping this morning. I picked up a bunch of vegetables, except for the ones you’re allergic to, of course, and, um, that tofu that I think you said you liked, though it might be the wrong kind—”

He stops, glancing over at Colin, and reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, suddenly feeling a bit awkward, though he’s not sure why. Colin is staring into the fridge, expression unreadable, so Bradley does what he’s best at and keeps talking. “And I bought some soy milk, though I also have real milk, because I can’t live without it, but obviously that’s not for you. Oh, and, like, those fake eggs, ‘cause I know you can’t eat real ones, but I make a fantastic omelette, so I thought maybe you’d like to try it while you’re here…? Or, uh, you could just go out and buy stuff that you _actually_ eat, because I’m not really good with the whole vegetarian thing…”

Bradley trails off, then, fully aware of the fact that he’s now rambling, and Colin hasn’t said anything yet. Probably because he’s trying to figure out a way to tell Bradley that he’s an idiot, without being rude, because Colin’s much too polite to tell Bradley straight out that he doesn’t know the first thing about being a vegetarian, even though he’s spent three years listening to Colin talk about what he eats and doesn’t eat. He should know something about this by now, should’ve done some research before he went shopping.

A hand on his arm pulls Bradley out of his self-deprecating reverie and his gaze darts up to meet Colin’s.

“No, this is great, Bradley. You’ve really—You have basically everything I would’ve thought to buy. I didn’t expect you to do this. I— thank you.” His voice is thick, and something about the way Colin’s looking at him fills Bradley with an unexpected warmth that travels from his feet all the way to the tips of his ears. He finds that he likes it. It feels familiar, and pleasant, especially because he’s made Colin happy. And has actually done something right.

Bradley smiles and shuts the fridge door. “I imagine you’re probably tired and hungry, so I was thinking we could maybe grab some take away and watch a movie or something tonight?”

Colin nods. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Half an hour later, they’re seated comfortably on either end of Bradley’s sofa, food spread out on the coffee table and _Labyrinth_ starting up in the DVD player. Bradley didn’t even have to work to convince Colin that it would be a brilliant idea to watch it. He always knew there was a reason he liked Colin, not just for his dark sense of humour and easy friendship, but also for his _obviously_ amazing taste in films. Toby and John could learn a few things from him, that's for sure.

Just before the movie starts, Bradley’s mobile buzzes and he notices a text message from John: _hey! u busy? we’re going to the pub 2nite for mike’s bday. let me know._

He contemplates the idea for all of five seconds before deciding against it. He should probably ask Colin what he wants to do, but considering he needs to be up early to meet with that friend of his tomorrow morning, Bradley sort of assumes that he won’t mind staying in. Also, for completely selfish reasons, Bradley would prefer to just spend the night in, catching up with him. They haven’t even really spoken in over a month. Besides, Bradley’s mates can turn into complete idiots when they’re pissed, and he sort of wants to keep Colin away from them in that state.

He fires a quick response back – _sorry, can’t. busy, but thanks for the invite_ – before starting up the movie.

They both chuckle when Sarah starts crying about her bear Lancelot. “We should make Santiago watch this, the next time he’s on set,” Colin suggests with a grin, and Bradley can do nothing but agree. You can never watch _Labyrinth_ too many times, if you ask him. Plus, Santiago has a good sense of humour; he’d probably enjoy it.

Just after Jareth appears on screen, there is a knock on Bradley’s door.

Colin turns to look at Bradley, raising an eyebrow curiously. “Are you expecting someone?”

“No,” Bradley says, shaking his head. Reluctantly, he pauses the movie and goes to see who's shown up at his flat, unannounced. 

“John?” Bradley blinks, staring at his friend standing on the other side of the doorway. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at the pub celebrating Mike’s birthday or something?”

John shrugs casually and smiles. “I am, but your flat happened to be on the way, and I thought I’d see if I could change your mind and drag your arse out with us.”

“I suppose that text where I told you I was busy didn’t get through that thick skull of yours then?” Bradley asks, folding his arms and shooting John a pointed stare.

“You don’t look busy,” John says, attempting to peer over Bradley’s shoulder in one of the most completely obvious moves Bradley’s ever seen.

“I am.”

“You have a girl in there?” he asks suddenly, smirking, and wiggles two eyebrows suggestively.

Bradley laughs heartily, shaking his head. “Not exactly.”

“Hey, Bradley, what’s going on?” Colin’s voice wafts in his direction, and Bradley turns his head at the same time that Colin rounds the corner.

“Ahhh, now I see,” John says, voice laden with innuendo, but he’s clearly taking the piss. Bradley reaches over and punches John in the shoulder. Hard.

Before John has a chance to say anything else stupid, Bradley steps back away from the doorway and proceeds with introductions. “Colin, this is my idiot friend, John from school. John, this is Colin.”

“Nice to meet you, mate,” John says, extending his hand.

Colin accepts, shaking it firmly. “Likewise.”

“So, how long are you in town?”

“At least a week, possibly longer,” Colin replies. “Bradley kindly offered to let me stay with him while I’m in London.”

“That doesn’t sound like the Bradley I know.”

Bradley’s expression sours, and he narrows his eyes at John. Colin simply laughs. “Hilarious, mate,” Bradley growls, though he’s grinning too. “So, what are you doing here again?”

“Well, I wanted to see if you could join us at the pub, but since you’re so _busy_ , never mind.”

“You’re more than welcome to go out if you want, Bradley. I don't mind at all,” Colin says, before Bradley even has a chance to get a word in. “I need to be up early tomorrow, so I think I'll stay in. But I brought several books and now that I know how to work the DVD player I think I'll be just fine on my own.”

Of course Colin would tell him to go out while he stayed in for the night, alone. It is so very typical of Colin. He's the kind of bloke that'd offer someone the last bite of his sandwich, give a person the shirt off his back if it was needed, or stay up an extra few hours to help someone (mainly Bradley) with their lines, even if he had to be up at five the next morning to start filming. He's one of the most selfless people Bradley has ever had the pleasure of knowing and it's one of the numerous things Bradley adores about him, even if he is hesitant to use the words 'adore' and 'Colin Morgan' in the same sentence outside of his own mind.

“Thanks, mate, that's kind of you to offer,” Bradley says, patting Colin on the back, twice, jovially. “But I'm not going to go to the pub and leave you here. Not only is it rude, but we have prior plans anyway.”

“What plans?” Colin looks confused.

Hitching a thumb in the general direction of the living room, Bradley says, “Take away, movie, remember?”

“Ah, yes. Right. Didn't realise that counted as 'plans'.”

“It does,” Bradley asserts with a sage nod.

John takes this opportunity to insert himself back into the conversation. “What movie are you watching?”

“ _Labyrinth_ ,” Colin says, and very clearly tries not to laugh when John's face scrunches up in obvious displeasure.

“He's managed to talk you into watching that, has he?” John wonders, sounding simultaneously awed and amused. “You're a stronger man than I.”

Colin merely shrugs, smiling shyly, hands burying in the pockets of his hoodie. “I don’t mind, actually. We’ve watched it before. Once you take into consideration the year in which it was made, and remember that it’s _supposed_ to be a bit of a ridiculous fantasy movie, then it really is quite entertaining.”

“Plus, David Bowie,” Bradley feels the need to add.

Raising both hands for a second before shaking his head, it’s clear when John finally accepts that he’s lost this round. He and Colin are a force to be reckoned with, so powerful that not even five David Bowies could touch them. Well, that and the fact that John’s smarter than he looks sometimes, and knows how to pick his battles.

“Your loss. I’ll be out getting pissed and having a blast, thank you. Have fun watching that ridiculous film,” he says with a grin, giving them both a teasing salute before sauntering off down the hall.

“Oh, we will,” Bradley calls after him, not because it’s the least bit necessary but simply because he enjoys driving John mad.

They return to the television and continue watching the movie, Bradley quoting along with nearly everything Jareth says, and the two of them either singing along to the songs or making up their own lyrics, when it seems more entertaining (which is virtually the entire length of the movie). By the time they’re finished, Bradley’s sides hurt from laughing so much. In fact, he can’t remember the last time he had this much fun.

“Only you could make watching this terrible movie that enjoyable,” Colin says, and Bradley knows there was a jab somewhere in there, but he’s too distracted by the compliment to care all that much.

They smile dumbly at each other for a moment – because what else is there to say to that, really? – before Colin glances down to check the time on his watch. “It’s not that late, but I told Nick I would meet him first thing in the morning, and by the time I take the Tube…”

Bradley nods in understanding. “Of course. I’m knackered myself actually, so I’m sure I’ll be going to sleep soon as well.” There’s something else he wants to say or do, something else he had planned since the morning, but now he can’t for the life of him remember what it was.

“Well, good night,” Colin says with a smile, after nearly a minute passes and neither of them make any attempt to move.

Bradley returns the smile automatically, like it’s a natural response. “Good night.”

Colin disappears from the living room and is likely halfway down the hallway when Bradley suddenly remembers. “Col?”

A beat, and then, “Yes?”

“Hold on one second.” Jumping up off the sofa, Bradley retreats to the kitchen, meeting Colin at the bedroom doorway a minute later.

“Here,” Bradley says, depositing the object in Colin’s waiting hands.

“What’s this?” Though it’s obvious, when Colin extends his fingers and peers down at what rests in his palm.

“Keys to my flat,” Bradley says simply, and tries to ignore the little unexpected flutter in his heart that appears when Colin meets his gaze, just a touch of uncertainty in his eyes. “Since you’ll be off doing your thing and I’ll be off doing mine. That way I don’t have to stay home, and you don’t have to stay away until I return. Makes the most sense, wouldn’t you agree?”

Colin nods, understanding lighting up behind his eyes, which seem even bluer than usual, if that’s possible. “Oh, okay. That’s probably a good idea, thanks.”

“Of course it is. It was _my_ idea, after all,” Bradley says, folding his arms and smirking arrogantly.

“Yes. The epitome of brilliance. Bradley James. Right,” Colin deadpans, and Bradley laughs heartily in response. Colin’s just jealous, that much is painfully clear.

“You only wish you were as fantastic as me,” he says, nudging Colin’s ankle with his foot, and Colin’s gaze immediately drops to the source, briefly, before meeting his eyes once again.

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day,” is Colin’s only reply, and unfortunately, Bradley isn’t sure how to argue with that.

Fingering the keys, Colin eyes them curiously, as though he’s having some deep, secret thoughts, and then finally shoves them into the pockets of his jeans. “Thanks, Bradley. Night.”

“Good night,” he says, a moment too late, to the door gently closing in his face.

It feels significant, somehow, Bradley handing over the spare set of keys to his flat, even though it’s a gesture born entirely of necessity and nothing more. Still, some weird part of his brain feels that this is a good thing, and at this hour, he isn’t too inclined to try and argue with it.

~*~

As it turns out, Colin is actually a fantastic house guest. He’s quiet in the morning, cleans up after himself, actually hangs his towel to dry after taking a shower, and unlike Bradley, never leaves the refrigerator door open or the lights on unnecessarily, even if he’s going right back into the room in a couple of minutes. Of course, he eats a surprisingly large amount of food – more than Bradley remembers, anyway – and occasionally forgets to lock the door when he leaves, but all in all, it’s a pleasure to have him around.

Within the first several days, a pattern begins to emerge. Colin leaves first thing in the morning, but starts a pot of coffee for Bradley so that it’s ready when he wakes up. An hour or so later, Bradley finally hauls his arse off the sofa – sometimes it takes him a long time to fall asleep on the couch, despite what he’d told Colin – and downs a cup or two of coffee before starting his day. It usually consists of running errands, visiting friends, playing sports at the gym, or sending e-mails that border on harassment to his agent about finding him a script for the new year.

Sometimes, partway through the day, if his sleep that night was particularly poor, Bradley will take a quick nap in his own bed. It sort of smells faintly of Colin – even if he hasn’t occupied it for very long – but this doesn’t particularly bother him. All he usually needs is twenty minutes and he’s feeling much better.

By the time Colin arrives back at the flat, it’s usually just following dinner time. Bradley is most definitely not a chef, but he’s always prided himself on making real meals when he’s at home as often as possible. The only difference this time is that he’s using all vegetarian items. He’s not especially fond of tofu, but seeing as how he needs to make something anyway, it feels pointless to cook a separate meal specifically for Colin. Therefore Bradley does the only logical thing and decides to use the week to experiment with an online vegetarian cookbook he finds.

They typically eat dinner together – complete with feedback from Colin about the meal; thankfully Bradley’s cooking abilities have passed every day so far – and then they spend the evening hanging out.

On Monday they go to a nearby park, then design and race through obstacle courses using trees, bushes, swing sets, and even sometimes dogs or other people in the park (who are less than impressed, usually). By the end, Colin is beating Bradley three races to two, but he’s determined to have a rematch before Colin leaves to rectify that situation.

On Tuesday they decide to see _The Social Network_ , even though they’ve both already seen it. Therefore, they spend the vast majority of the time commenting on Justin Timberlake’s rugged good looks (well, that’s mostly Bradley), how Jesse Eisenberg is incredibly awkward but still does an amazing job in the role, and how little actually occurs in the movie in terms of plot. There might also be some – okay, a _lot_ \- of discussion about how awesome Andrew Garfield is, though that’s largely Bradley (again). It’s possible that they piss off a few people around them, but in the end they’re having too much fun to really care.

Wednesday night’s plans revolve around prank calling Katie, which takes over an hour to plan and only three minutes to completely fuck up. Even disabling the caller ID on Bradley’s mobile does nothing to help maintain their anonymity. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on your perspective – Katie only figures out that Bradley’s involved, and threatens to exact sweet, sweet revenge. She hangs up before Bradley can add Colin to her hit list, but somehow he doubts she’d believe him anyway. Those damn Irish always stick together, Bradley’s noticed.

However, Thursday evening ends up playing out quite differently than the other nights.

It’s more than two hours earlier than usual when Bradley hears the careful clicking sound of his front door unlocking, followed by the shuffling of someone entering the flat. Having just finished showering, Bradley pulls a t-shirt over his head so he’s fully clothed – he double checks beforehand just in case, because wouldn’t that be embarrassing? – and makes his way towards the front entrance.

“Colin!” he says in surprise. “What are you doing back so early?”

“There wasn’t as much to do today as expected.” It isn’t much of an answer, but Bradley supposes it probably doesn’t matter. Colin shrugs noncommittally, tossing his rucksack beside the pile of shoes on the floor and makes his way into the kitchen, a brown paper bag in his left hand. Naturally, Bradley follows.

Glancing at Bradley over his shoulder, Colin eyes him in amusement. “Nice hair,” he remarks with a smirk, setting the bag down on the kitchen table.

“What’s wrong with it?” Bradley grumbles good-naturedly, reaching up to run fingers through his still damp and obviously un-styled hair.

“Nothing,” he says, and Bradley will be damned if Colin hasn’t perfected the art of feigning innocence down to the most minute detail. He does it so well, it should almost be illegal. Except for the fact that over time, Bradley has learned when Colin’s taking the piss and when he’s being genuine, so at least he’s able to suss out the difference now.

“Well, you returned earlier than anticipated, so it’s not my fault that I didn’t have time to make myself _gorgeous_ for your arrival,” he says, layering on as much sarcasm as he can muster and grins devilishly at Colin.

It doesn’t appear to faze Colin whatsoever. Waving a hand around aimlessly, he says, “Nah, you’re always gorgeous.”

The comment is so natural, so casual, that Bradley almost misses what Colin’s just said. Except that he doesn’t. It’s instantly obvious that Colin is teasing him, if the mischievous smirk is any indication, but even still, Bradley feels heat pooling in his belly for just the briefest of moments anyway.

There are so many possible ways to respond to a comment like that, but he decides to go with cocky arrogance, because it’s the only thing that feels appropriate. “Damn right. I’m bloody fit.”

Colin chuckles loudly, voice filled with a mirth that warms the room, and it’s then that Bradley actually notices the extra item Colin’s brought in with him.

“What’s in the bag?” Bradley asks, folding his arms across his chest and eyeing it curiously.

“Oh, right!” Colin reaches out for the bag, picking it up and holding it out to Bradley. “There’s this tiny little restaurant a couple of blocks from the theatre where we’ve been ordering lunch every day, and I thought you might enjoy the food, so I brought something back for us. Figured you’ve done enough cooking the last few days and I should probably return the favour.”

“You didn’t need to do that,” Bradley says, taking the proffered bag, noting for the first time the delicious smell wafting from inside, and he’s suddenly immensely curious as to what it contains. Setting the bag on the counter, Bradley opens it and begins to rummage through the contents, almost immediately surprised by what he finds.

“Burgers? Are these vegetarian?” he asks, raising both brows.

Colin shakes his head. “No, they’re real. Or, um, real for you. Genuine beef burgers, just how you like it.”

There’s a dirty joke somewhere in there, Bradley knows, but he’s too distracted at the moment to pull one together.

“Seriously?” Bradley says, excited, sounding like a child on Christmas all of a sudden. It’s only been four days that he’s gone without meat, but apparently that’s long enough. “It smells great.”

Colin shuffles his feet and looks at Bradley with a sort of bashful awkwardness. “Er, I obviously haven’t tried them myself, but I hear that they’re incredible. If you like that sort of thing,” he says, and then scrunches his face up as though even the mere _thought_ of anyone eating meat is disgusting, though Bradley can that tell he’s joking. Mostly.

“Thanks, Col,” he says, feeling genuinely touched. “But what are you going to eat?”

“There’s a salad hiding in the bottom of the bag somewhere for me. I also bought both French and yam fries. I figured we could share.”

Even though Colin’s arrived back at the flat earlier than anticipated, all of Bradley’s errands for the day are finished, so they decide to move straight into their evening plans: marathoning series one of _The X-Files_.

Over the past three years, they’ve managed to make it through _Buffy_ , _Angel_ , both the original and the American versions of _The Office_ and all the _Doctor Who_ episodes and specials since David Tennant took on the role. In another life, Bradley thinks that he might’ve also made a fantastic television critic.

While Colin pops the first disc into DVD player, Bradley scans the episode list for the entire first series.

“Can you believe some of these episode titles? ‘Deep Throat’, ‘Squeeze’, ‘Gender Bender’?” Bradley chuckles to himself. Honestly, they make it too easy sometimes.

“Very mature,” Colin retorts, but he can’t quite hide his own smirk. “Is your mind constantly in the gutter, or does it just visit frequently?”

“Did I say anything about the titles being sexual euphemisms, _Colin_?”

“Big word, there. You know what it means?”

Bradley tries not to scoff. “Of _course_ I do. And you never answered my question, which I assume means that your _own_ mind was in the gutter as well.” He _tsk, tsk’s_ Colin, shaking his head and shooting him a look of mock disapproval.

“You know what they say about assuming,” Colin shoots back, before settling back against the sofa and tossing the DVD remote in Bradley’s general direction.

As it turns out, the pilot episode is just as bad as most pilots tend to be, filled with overly cheesy dialogue, awkward first interactions, some terrible acting by a few of the guest stars, and a bit of a ridiculous storyline. Still, while Bradley has always appreciated action and close friendships to romance, he enjoys the bathrobe scene perhaps a bit too much.

“Wow, getting naked in the first episode. How’s that for sexual tension?” he jokes, but Colin just laughs and waves a hand at him to be quiet.

However, by the time they’re four episodes in, Bradley is starting to believe that he could really end up enjoying this show. The effects aren’t fantastic, but considering this was the early '90s, Bradley decides to let it go. The storylines are fun, and he’s enjoying the paranormal aspect of things. Plus, the dynamic between Mulder and Scully is nothing short of intriguing. He knows firsthand how important chemistry and a strong dynamic between the leads on a programme can be.

Partway through the fifth episode, Bradley decides he has the characters completely figured out. “Scully won’t go on that date,” he predicts, casting Colin a sidelong glance.

“What makes you think that?”

“Because she fancies Mulder. Somehow something’s going to stop that date from happening, trust me,” he says sagely.

Colin’s brows furrow. “You can’t possibly know that. You’re just making things up based on the little you know about the show.”

“Well, don’t they end up shagging eventually?”

“I think so.” Colin squints thoughtfully. “But it’s only five episodes in, Bradley.”

“Fine. But be prepared to apologise to me when I’m right,” he says, stretching his legs out and leaning back against the cushions.

By the time the episode finishes, Bradley is gloating. “See? Told you Scully wouldn’t go on that date. She’s head over heels for Mulder. She wouldn’t date someone else when she fancies another bloke. Goes against her style,” he says, in a display of true maturity. But that’s what Colin gets when he tries to doubt Bradley’s superior observation skills.

Colin merely rolls his eyes. “Yes, well, aren’t you a genius?”

“I quite thought so.”

Neither moves to grab for the remote to start the next episode, but Bradley is still startled when Colin suddenly says, “We should go out somewhere, get some drinks or something, yeah? Nick doesn’t need me tomorrow, so we have all evening. I think we should get out for a while, get some air.”

That certainly hadn’t been expected, but Bradley isn’t opposed to the idea either. And he supposes he could benefit from getting out of the flat for a bit too. “Er, I guess so. Where did you have in mind?”

Colin shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. Didn’t you say there’s a pub close by that you and your friends like?”

~*~

Fifteen minutes later, they find themselves tucked into a booth at the back of the pub, both nursing a beer. It’s a relatively large pub, which helps to afford them some privacy. It’s not as if Bradley is recognised on a daily basis when he’s out in the city; in fact, he still manages to remain in relative obscurity while in public, save for the odd moment here and there when a group of people – often girls, as luck would have it – spot him and come over to say hello. Still, the frequency of being recognised has increased as the popularity of the show rises.

And even though when they’re out in public together and no one notices Colin, for some strange reason, when the two of them are in the same place at the same time, the likelihood that _Bradley_ will be noticed increases exponentially. He has yet to figure out how this works, but he finds himself being spotted with a much higher frequency when he’s in Colin’s company, even though half the time Colin isn’t even noticed immediately.

So, needless to say, Bradley is grateful when they manage to find a small booth to keep them relatively hidden from everyone else who happens to be out drinking that night. And for a while, they even remain unnoticed. But of course, with Bradley’s luck, it doesn’t last nearly long enough.

It happens after he sends Colin up to the bar to get a third round of beers.

“Bradley James? Is that really you? Wow, it’s been so long!”

Dragging his gaze away from the bar, Bradley jerks his head over to the source of the sound and is immediately met with the sight of Elizabeth ( _Beth_ ) Miller, a girl he’d dated for just over two years prior to accepting the role of Arthur on _Merlin_. She still looks exactly like how Bradley remembers her – tall, with dark wavy brown hair that hangs just past her shoulders, wire-rimmed glasses framing her face and dressed from head to toe in what was probably designer _everything_. Ever the fashionista, but one of the most down-to-earth girls Bradley’s ever met.

“Beth,” he says with a smile, rising to greet her properly with the hug he knows she’s waiting for.

This is certainly an unexpected surprise, though not an unpleasant one. Their break-up had been mostly amicable at the time. Beth is several years younger than Bradley, but neither had been ready to even start thinking about settling down back when they’d been dating. They’d been discussing the idea of taking a break from one another just prior to his audition for _Merlin_ , and the day following that, they mutually decided to end things. Beth wanted to go to university and she wanted Bradley to concentrate on his career without being ‘tied down’ to someone. They’d promised to keep in touch, but hadn’t, though Bradley knows he’s mostly to blame for that.

“It’s been a while, but it’s great to see you. You’re looking good,” he says honestly.

“Far too long,” she agrees. “Weren’t you supposed to give me a ring? Did you forget about me after becoming a big, famous star?”

Bradley blinks. He knows that she’s joking, but alternately, she’s also completely correct, and he feels a small stab of guilt. Even though the break-up had been mutual, he’d still been hurt by the whole thing. But before he can find the words, Beth bats playfully at his arm.

“I’m just teasing, don’t worry. You’ve been busy, so I’ve seen, and I could’ve just as easily rung you up myself, but I didn’t.” She shrugs.

Smiling sheepishly, Bradley ducks his head for a moment anyway. “I suppose so. I meant to phone you, but I obviously never did, so I’m sorry.” He meant it, too. Or at least he did now.

Laughing lightly, Beth waves her hand dismissively. “Let's call it even? We're both to blame?”

“Sure, all right.” Bradley nods, relieved. “So, how have you been? What have you been doing these past few years?”

Beth reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, a perfectly manicured nail gliding against her scalp. Again, just how he remembers her. “Oh, you know, just finishing up at uni. It's been busy, but hopefully I'll be finished within the next year or two and will finally be ready to enter the workforce.”

“That's great,” he tells her with a smile. “Hopefully the last stretch won't be too difficult for you. You're finishing your law degree still, I assume?”

“I am,” she confirms, pride evident in her voice.

Bradley is poised to ask how Beth's family is doing – specifically her brother, whom Bradley got on with quite well, back when he and Beth were dating – when out of the blue she interjects with, “You know, maybe it's fate that we ran into one another here.”

“What do you mean?” he asks dumbly, though he suspects he knows exactly where she might be going with this.

“Well, I was just thinking about you the other day. Some of the fun times we had, so it seems significant that we both ended up here at the same time, wouldn’t you say?”

Bradley bites down on his tongue to prevent the automatic response he wants to give, which he assumes probably won’t be received overly well. Instead he says, “You’re right, we did have a lot of great times in the past. Perhaps this is fate’s way of helping old friends catch up.”

That answer seems to please her, even though Bradley’s not fully sure what he even just said. “Are you involved with anyone right now?” she asks, head tilting to the side as she folds her arms loosely across her chest. Sure enough, he was right.

Something uncomfortable unfurls in his chest. “Erm, no. It's sort of hard, what with working on _Merlin_ for eight months of the year. I barely have time to sleep, let alone date anyone.”

It's technically the truth, mostly, but it's also equally an excuse, and he bloody well knows it. If he truly _wanted_ to date, he could find a way to make it work, somehow. Granted, their filming schedule _is_ hectic and he works ridiculously long hours during the year. Still, it's nice to have handy when he's trying to fend off unwanted affections from fans (or even acquaintances), or defend himself against his mum's questions about when he's going to _'find somebody nice to settle down with'_. Beth is a lovely girl and it's not that he's opposed to the idea of dating her again – they had some incredible times when they were younger – but he just can't envision himself with her right now, at this time in his life, even though he doesn't exactly have any logical reason for the decision, save for the feeling in his gut.

Out of the corner of his eye, Bradley can see Colin making his way back over to the table with their drinks, and he feels something like relief well up inside him.

“Hey, Bradley,” Colin says carefully once he arrives, glancing between Bradley and Beth, and shooting him a silent question with his eyes. Colin grips both mugs, holding them close to his chest a bit uncertainly, as if unsure whether he should stay or go.

“Colin,” Bradley says with a wide smile, and reaches out to take one of the drinks from his hands as he gestures towards Beth with the other. “This is Beth. She’s an old friend of mine.” Colin quirks an eyebrow at the name curiously, but Bradley gives him a pointed stare that he hopes says: _’Not now.’_ Before Colin has the opportunity to open his mouth, Bradley continues. “Beth, this is Colin—”

“—Morgan,” Beth finishes, eyes widening in obvious realisation. “Yeah, I know. I’ve seen the show. I’m a huge fan. How nice to meet you.” She holds out her hand.

“You too.” He accepts the proffered limb, shaking it firmly.

Both turn to Bradley then, as if they expect him to say something. Except, he’s not sure what, precisely, they want from him.

Thankfully, Beth saves him from having to say anything. “Well, I don’t want to interrupt, so I suppose I should be on my way.”

“You don’t want to stick around for a while? I can make myself scarce,” Colin offers, but Beth shakes her head. Bradley lets out an internal sigh of relief at her response for reasons he’s not quite certain of.

“No, that’s all right. I’m meeting up with a few friends myself, so I really should go find them. But it was nice to meet you,” she says to Colin. And then, to Bradley she adds, “Give me a ring when you have some free time, all right? Might just be fate after all.”

With that, she turns and strolls away.

“So, that was the infamous Beth, was it?” Colin asks as they slide back into the booth.

“Yeah.”

“She seems nice.”

“She is.”

Colin gives him a _look_. “So, what did she want?”

Suddenly Bradley is beginning to regret telling Colin all about Beth a few years back, instead of just leaving well enough alone. Of course, at the time, he never could have foreseen that Colin might actually meet her. He takes a long swig of his beer, relishing the faint buzz it thankfully provides him with as it slides easily down his parched throat. 

“Nothing. She just saw me and came over to say hi. That’s it. 

“Didn't look like nothing to me.”

Bradley tries not to roll his eyes at the implication. “You're ridiculous, Colin. Just because I happened to be talking to an ex-girlfriend, doesn't automatically mean anything was going on.”

Apparently, the words don't penetrate Colin's thick skull. “So, did she ask you out on another date?”

“No,” Bradley instantly responds. Then he stops, and corrects himself. “Well, not exactly. I think she was about to, but then you showed up.”

“Oh, I'm sorry!”

“Don't be. I wouldn't have said yes anyway.”

Colin reaches out to flick the back of his hand, and Bradley tries not to jump in surprise. “Why not?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs absently, and then downs the last of his beer. “We don’t have time for dating with the kind of schedules we have during filming.” Belatedly, Bradley remembers that Colin might be the one person for whom that excuse _won’t_ work.

For a second, Colin looks like he’s about ready to say something, but then, he appears to check himself. “Yeah, that’d be difficult. But it wouldn’t be impossible if you really wanted it, and we both know that. I don’t think you’ve dated anyone since we first started working together.”

“So?”

Colin shrugs, fingers tapping idly on the table. “I’m just saying. If you wanted to date her, now might be a good time to start, since we have lots of time from now until filming for series four begins.”

And suddenly, out of nowhere, Bradley feels just a little irritated by Colin’s insistence on talking about this.

“I would’ve said no because I don't want to, plain and simple. Beth was great, but she’s my past. Things are different now than they were back then,” he asserts, sounding more frustrated than is strictly necessary. But there it is. He's said it now, and Colin can make of that what he will.

Something unrecognisable flashes in Colin’s eyes briefly before he smiles, placating, and kicks Bradley’s foot lightly under the table. “Easy there. I was just winding you up, yeah? No hard feelings.”

And then Bradley is feeling like an idiot, because he’s being silly about the whole thing, and the last thing he wants is to upset Colin in any way. “I know, don’t worry. I’m sorry for over-reacting.” He has no idea why he’s getting so defensive all of a sudden. It’s not that important.

“So, how come whenever we’re out together, _I’m_ the one who always gets recognised?” Bradley whines then, as much to put voice to the question he’s had sitting at the back of his mind as it is to change the topic entirely. It’s not that he’s uncomfortable with talking about Beth, per se. He just wants to look towards his future, not get sucked back into memories from his past.

Colin lifts a single shoulder and shoots him a lazy grin. “I don’t know. Maybe because you’re so damn loud all the time? You probably call all the attention to yourself purposefully, trying to steal my glory.”

“You don’t even like being recognised, so you can’t pull that card on me, Morgan,” Bradley points out helpfully, especially since it’s true. He’s become so much more comfortable with being in the spotlight since Bradley first met him, but Colin would still rather remain hovering around in the background, if he could. And then, remembering the first part of that original comment adds, “Also, I’m not _that_ loud.”

“Then it must just be the appeal of your stunning good looks that draws the crowds,” Colin suggests, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Bradley grips the mug of his beer tightly, laughing with more enthusiasm than he feels. “Yeah, right. Whatever you say. And don’t sell yourself short. I hear the women screaming _’oh, Colin, you’re so hot, Colin, we love you so much Colin, swoon, swoon, swoon’_ when we’re at any sort of fan event.” He uses his best high-pitched, screaming female fan voice, and is quite proud of how accurate he sounds.

And Bradley will be damned if Colin isn’t looking slightly embarrassed by his comment. “Heh, well, then maybe I’m just better at hiding than you are.”

Colin tilts his head back then, gulping down the rest of his beer, and Bradley finds his eyes are inadvertently drawn to the bob of his Adam’s apple as Colin swallows, suddenly mesmerised by the way it dips and rises. Curious eyes trail up his long neck to the strong line of Colin’s jaw, his beer-moistened lips, the sharp angles of his cheekbones—

“Bradley?”

Blinking sharply, Bradley’s eyes dart back up to meet Colin’s inquisitive gaze, and he is grateful for the dim lighting in the pub that hides the unexpected heat he feels pricking at the back of his neck all of a sudden. “Yes?”

“You don’t look too well. D’you think we should head back to your flat now? Continue watching _X-Files_ , yeah?”

He’s definitely had enough alcohol tonight, Bradley decides. Maybe a bit too much. Swallowing heavily, he nods, trying not to look as guilty as he inexplicably feels. “Sure, yeah. That’d—that’d probably be a good idea. Yes, let’s do that.”

~*~

By the time late Saturday afternoon rolls around, they’ve managed to finish the entire first series of _The X-Files_ , and Bradley feels like he might go a bit cross-eyed if they watch anything else.

So instead, they take a break to have a vegetarian cook-off. Even though Bradley knows he’ll lose – because he’s not even that much of a cook to begin with, never mind having to make meals _without_ meat – he still puts forth a valiant effort. While there’s no impartial judge to decide who won, they both agree that Colin’s vegetable casserole is better than Bradley’s vegetarian lasagne. But Colin still eats two helpings, so Bradley thinks that he must have done something right.

They end up destroying Bradley’s kitchen, and it takes nearly two hours to clean everything up, but he hasn’t had this much fun cooking in a long time, so it seems worth the effort.

“We should watch _Merlin_ together,” Colin suggests a little while later. He’s sprawled across Bradley’s sofa, one arm slung over his eyes, the other dangling off the edge of the cushions, and feet hanging over the end of the couch.

Just managing to pry himself off the floor, Bradley crawls over to Colin and pokes at his feet. “Yeah, fine, but you need to shove over. I’m not staying on the floor.”

With an exaggerated groan, Colin moves just enough for Bradley to squeeze in beside him, and Bradley very pointedly ignores the way Colin’s toes accidentally brush against his thigh. More than once. Turning on the TV, he flips through the channels until he lands on BBC One, just in time.

Almost unconsciously, Bradley finds himself paying extra attention to any scenes where Arthur interacts with Gwen. He knows he’s probably being silly and just a bit paranoid, but he can’t help but wonder. He hasn’t even formulated any sort of concrete theories to coincide with his unidentified suspicions, just feels like a bit of extra vigilance might not be a bad thing.

Every time Arthur and Gwen appear in the same scene, Bradley pays careful attention, trying to see if there is anything _off_ about the scene, or remember if Colin happened to be there. But he doesn’t notice or recall a thing that might be suspicious. Of course, he is also notorious for having a terrible memory, so it might not be the most reliable of indicators.

They only half pay attention to the actual episode, talking throughout – sharing stories from set, reminiscing or poking fun at themselves. It’d be the sort of commentary that the producers would scold them for, but the fans would probably love.

“Well, that was fun,” Colin says at the conclusion of the episode.

“Bloody fantastic,” Bradley retorts, smiling over at him. Relief settles in his chest with the knowledge that the last two weeks must have just been a coincidence after all.

“Hey, do you remember when they were rearranging the set during the filming of one of the corridor scenes, and you tripped and fell backwards because you didn’t realise they’d moved that bench closer?” Colin asks, accidentally toeing Bradley again.

“Hey, mate, keep your stinky feet to yourself, yeah?” Bradley grumbles good-naturedly, glaring at the offending limbs, and then, “Oh yeah. I landed flat on my arse. That was embarrassing.”

“But hilarious. Don’t forget hilarious.” Colin laughs and pulls his knees up to his chest, smiling so brightly that Bradley can’t really find it in him to be annoyed.

He reflects on his memory of that incident, chuckling to himself, when suddenly something dawns on him, mid-thought. “Wait, wasn’t that a scene I was filming with Angel?”

Colin shrugs. “I dunno, maybe?”

“Then why were you there?” He narrows his eyes at the same time that the uncomfortable feeling returns, settling deep within his chest.

“No idea, Bradley. But I definitely remember you falling on your arse.”

And now that he’s really thinking about it, Bradley definitely remembers that he was filming with Angel, and that Colin _was_ there. Of course, Colin’s presence on set doesn’t necessarily mean anything at all, but considering his recent discoveries, Bradley strongly suspects that something else is going on here, though he’s not so sure he even wants to find out what it is.

~*~

Colin leaves the following Tuesday, and Bradley tries not to think about the fact that they might not see one another again until the new year, because the idea of going another six weeks without seeing him is highly unpleasant.

With a wide grin and a squeeze to Bradley’s shoulder, Colin boards his train, while Bradley tells himself that the tightness in his chest is a normal response when saying good-bye to all of his mates.

That evening, Bradley's flat feels decidedly empty, and he tries very hard not to dwell on that fact. The reality is that he's enjoyed having Colin around, and living by himself does get lonely at times. Bradley's always been a social person – surrounding himself with family and friends whenever he has the opportunity – and while he does need the down time every now and then, he hasn't fully grown accustomed to living on his own. A few years ago he might have imagined himself moving in with Beth, but those days are long gone now.

While channel surfing a short while later he sees a commercial advertising the next episode of _Merlin_ , and he’s reminded once again of The Situation (as he’s just now started referring to the Colin-being-present-in-all-of-his-scenes-with-Angel thing).

There are a million different ways Bradley could choose to utilise his time, but in the end he spends the next several hours going back over the last three episodes on his laptop with a fine-toothed comb. By the time he’s finished, there is only one conclusion that can be drawn: Colin was present for the filming of every single Arthur-and-Gwen scene, but only twice was actually _part_ of the scene in question.

Which means… Well, Bradley’s not exactly sure what it all means, but there’s no doubt that this extends far beyond mere coincidence. Especially since he can’t recall a single incidence of the opposite occurring – when Angel watched an Arthur-and-Merlin scene, or when Katie was present during an Uther-and-Arthur scene. But even if they'd had, it was most definitely not a regular occurrence.

The entire thing is very peculiar, and something about it just doesn’t sit right in Bradley’s stomach. It’s probably nothing, except that it might be something, and once Bradley gets an idea in his mind, it’s hard to let it go.

~*~

Two full days pass and Bradley’s desire to figure out what’s going on finally gets the best of him, so he decides to seek out a second opinion. Naturally, since he can’t ring up Colin and is hesitant to discuss it with Angel, he turns to Katie.

This, unsurprisingly, turns out to be a rubbish idea.

“Bradley James, I can see your name on my call display,” is how she greets him, with all the warmth of a lion stalking a gazelle just before it attacks. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “I swear to God, if you’re calling to prank me again, I will send your picture to the Irish mafia and put a hit out on you.”

That seems a touch extreme, even for Katie, and several sarcastic responses immediately come to mind: _’Nice to hear from you too, Katie’, ‘How’ve you been since we last spoke?’, ‘Keeping busy now that we’re on break?’_ But of course, he doesn’t say any of them, because fighting Katie with sarcasm is about as productive as fighting a fire with a match.

“There’s no such thing as the Irish mafia,” he points out.

“How do you know?”

“Colin would have told me if there was.” Not that it’s ever come up, mind, but he’s sure Colin would have if such a thing existed. 

“Are you confident about that? You know how we Irish stick together, and we never reveal our secrets to our English enemies.”

Laughter spills from his mouth at that, and Bradley shakes his head in disbelief. “ _’English enemies’_ , Katie? Really?”

She can’t help but chuckle in return before quickly sobering. “Yes, well, either way – is that a risk you’re willing to take?” He can almost _see_ her smirk, wicked and smug, and inwardly grumbles.

“Yes,” he mutters at length, but in a manner that seems to imply the exact opposite.

A beat passes, and then, “So why did you actually call, now that we’ve established that you’re not trying to prank me and wouldn’t dare risk it?”

Bradley sighs with exaggerated exasperation. “Maybe I don’t want to tell you any longer, after you insulted me.”

Another peal of laughter ripples through the line. “Oh, _please_ , Bradley. What are you, ten years old? Besides, the last time you called, it _was_ with the intent of pulling a practical joke on me, so you can hardly blame me, can you? You obviously called me for a reason, so let’s hear it.”

If it wasn’t for the fact that he genuinely _did_ want her opinion – because when she wasn’t being an evil harpy, she actually gave moderately good advice – he would hang up, just to prove a point. However, seeing as this wasn’t a topic he could ask his non- _Merlin_ mates, Angel and Colin were out of the question, and it felt like far too silly of a reason to ring up Richard or Tony, Katie was his best bet.

“Have you ever, er, hung around the set and watched a scene being filmed that you weren’t in?” Bradley asks, at length.

“Um, yeah. Once or twice, I think. Maybe more, when I haven’t been filming a scene myself, but not all that often.”

“Okay, but you’ve never, uh, been on set for, like, several similar scenes you weren’t a part of before, have you?”

“Bradley, what are you on about? What does this have to do with anything?”

Suddenly he’s feeling a little dimwitted about the whole thing. “Er, well, it’s just that—Have you been watching _Merlin_ the last few weeks?”

“No, but I heard there was some editing error a few weeks ago. My mum called me to ask about it the next day. Said she went online to see if she could find anything out. You probably don’t want to know what some people were saying…”

No, he is quite certain that he doesn’t.

“So I guess you know that Colin was in that scene for a few seconds before it cut back to Angel, then?”

“Yes, hence my previous comments. I’m not even going to ask how _that_ happened—”

“Yeah, so, anyway,” Bradley interrupts, before she _does_ start talking about things he doesn’t particularly want to hear right now, “I’ve been watching the show and I couldn’t help but notice that Colin’s been present during the vast majority of the scenes with Angel and myself.”

“And this is significant why?”

“Because he wasn’t _in_ any of those scenes. Or, well, he wasn’t in most of those scenes. And yet he was still there while we filmed. Don’t you find that a bit odd?”

Silence fills the line for far longer than Bradley is entirely comfortable with.

“I don’t know, I suppose it’s sort of strange. But you’re often filming together, aren’t you? Maybe you had a scene together immediately beforehand or immediately after?” Katie suggests.

“Perhaps.” But he doesn’t believe it’s that simple. Besides, the argument still doesn’t stand if it won’t generalise to other situations and cast members, which, as far as Bradley can recall, isn’t the case.

“Maybe he came by to watch you film?”

“But that many times?” It seems unlikely.

“You said Colin’s only around when you’re filming Arthur-Gwen scenes?”

Didn’t he already say that? Is she not listening to a word he’s saying? “Yes…”

“Then maybe they’re trying to ramp up the sexual tension in those scenes?”

Bradley nearly drops his mobile. “ _What_? Katie, that doesn’t even make any _sense_.”

“It makes _perfect_ sense, actually. Have you ever even watched the show before?”

Bradley tries not to roll his eyes, though the effect isn't exactly as strong when she isn't there to witness the full extent of his exasperation. ”Clearly I have.”

“Well, despite the fact that you act like one most of the time, you're not an idiot, Bradley.” He opens his mouth to protest the affront to his character, but she doesn't give him the opportunity. “If you don't know what I'm talking about, then I'm not going to tell you. This is the kind of thing that you shouldn't have to be told.”

“You sound like my mum now, Katie. Come on, don't be absurd.”

“I'm not. I'm not even saying that I'm right. But if you can't possibly understand why having Colin around in your scenes with Angel to increase the tension is a logical conclusion to reach, then that's not my problem.”

What Bradley truly doesn't understand is how Katie can be so thoroughly frustrating. Why does she feel the need to talk in riddles instead of just helping him figure this out, like he asked? Glancing down, he notices that his left fist is clenched so tight that the knuckles are turning white, and he forcefully relaxes his hand, laying the palm flat against his thigh instead.

Clearly, things are not going as planned, so Bradley decides that it’s time to pull out his backup plan. “ _Ka-tie_ ,” he whines pathetically, “why are you being so cruel to me?”

Without a beat passing, she says, “Stop that. Whining won’t work with me. But come on, Bradley, _think about it_. This isn’t that difficult of a concept.”

So he does. Because Katie is right about one thing – Bradley is _not_ an idiot. Or, at least, mostly not. After about a minute, he arrives at a conclusion, though he’s still not quite sure how everything fits together. “Is this because Colin and I have good chemistry or something?”

Katie makes a noise which seems to resemble approval. “You’re getting there.”

“But what does that have to do with my scenes with Angel?”

The heavy sigh he receives in return is enough of an indication that he hasn’t responded favourably. “Are you really that dense? I thought you were getting somewhere. Honestly, sometimes I wonder about you, Bradley.”

“Thank you for that wonderfully kind feedback. Good to know I can count on you to boost my self-esteem.”

“Look, I’m sure you can figure it out if you just take some time,” Katie suggests, voice softening just slightly. “Or, you know, you could just phone up Johnny and get the information straight from the horse’s mouth, if you’re so convinced there’s some conspiracy going on.”

That seems like the wiser option, at this point. Katie has been no help whatsoever. “Well, I’m glad I decided to call you, Katie. Thanks so much for everything,” he says with as much sarcasm as he can muster (because at this point, it doesn’t matter any longer if he pulls the sarcasm card with her).

Katie simply laughs, though not unkindly, and it should annoy him immensely, but it actually serves to quell his annoyance instead. Stupid Katie and the power of her stupid laugh. “It’s not that big of a deal, Bradley. But feel free to give me a ring again once you sort things out, should you need someone to talk to.”

“Yeah, I will,” he says, even though he probably won’t. “Take care, and stay in touch.”

“Thanks. You too, Bradley. Bye.”

Probably, Bradley thinks after hanging up his mobile, he should have called Rupert instead.


	3. Chapter 3

Following his conversation with Katie, Bradley decides that he needs to figure out what, exactly, might have happened. Contrary to what she thinks, Bradley knows that he is _not_ an idiot. He just needs time to process things every now and then, and considering how much this whole recent situation has thrown him for a bit of a loop, he thinks it's perfectly reasonable that it takes slightly more time to figure it all out.

But it takes very little time and effort for him to actually piece together what Katie was implying during their conversation and the suggestion leaves this weird, tight feeling in his chest that he can’t quite describe. Still, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s merely one idea amongst many others, and Bradley is determined to prove to himself that there’s more than one logical conclusion to reach.

The best solution – or at least the first one Bradley thinks of – is to make a list of all the different possible reasons as to why Colin might've been on set with them. He's not that much into the idea of lists himself, but Colin swears by them, and since this sort of has to do with him, Bradley figures that’s reason enough to give it a try.

_Reasons why Colin may have been there during filming  
1) Merlin's scenes were significantly reduced for those episodes  
2) Colin could have finished filming faster than everyone else and came to watch  
3) Filming for an Arthur & Merlin scene could have been next (or immediately beforehand)  
4) Colin committed a horrible atrocity and now Johnny feels the need to keep an eye on him at all times_

Bradley chuckles at that idea, then decides to run with it some more, and, just for fun, adds:

_5) Colin is actually a secret undercover agent, sent to spy on either me or Angel_

He stops, then, and re-reads the list a couple of times, mentally running through the other available options. There are other more legitimate options still remaining – Katie's immediately jumps to mind – but Bradley finds that writing them out is far easier said than done. At the same time, he knows that this whole process would be rather pointless if he didn't consider _all_ the potential options, and so with a measure of reluctance, he gives in and jots down the following: 

_6) Colin could have been present to increase the sexual tension between Angel and me  
7) The whole thing is simply a coincidence and nothing more_

There is one more possibility, but even the thought of writing it out makes Bradley blush and roll his eyes at himself, because not only is it supremely ridiculous, there’s also no way the producers would ever know this piece of information. Plus, it would require Colin’s presence during virtually every scene of his, and obviously that isn’t the case, even if they _do_ end up spending the most time with one another during filming. All the same, if he plans to consider _every_ possibility, then this should probably also be included.

_8) Scenes are easier to film for me when Colin's around_

Bradley cringes at the words, because it makes him feel so unbelievably stupid. Still, for whatever reason, it’s true. Some of his most difficult scenes have been filmed with Colin, and even his mere presence has made it somehow easier, something about his calm, supportive nature seems to give Bradley that little extra kick at times, just when he needs it.

Purposely pushing the thought aside, Bradley moves onto the next step, which involves going through the list and crossing off the least likely options.

Number 8 is the first to go, seeing as how it’s impossible for any of the producers, directors or crew to know that this is true, never mind that they don’t have the kind of budget that would allow one of the stars to constantly hang around the set without working. Besides, even if somehow it was a remote possibility, it would need to extend to every single scene he films, and it doesn’t. He crosses it off.

Unfortunately, amusing as they may be, 4 and 5 are off the list, since they’re not even remotely in the category of ‘realistic’. They are both removed with immense sadness.

Number 1 seems unlikely, seeing as how _Merlin_ is the title character, and Bradley recalls him having quite a significant role in all three episodes. He strikes through that one as well.

Bradley thinks that number 2 might be a reasonable explanation if it’d happened once or twice throughout a season. But considering the frequency with which Colin appeared on set, the likelihood decreases significantly, and he crosses that off next.

Three isn’t necessarily impossible, though doesn’t quite match up to Bradley’s memories, but he leaves that on the list anyway.

When he’s done going through every option, only three remain –

_Reasons why Colin may have been there during filming  
 ~~1) Merlin's scenes were significantly reduced for those episodes~~  
 ~~2) Colin could have finished filming faster than everyone else and came to watch~~  
3) Filming for an Arthur & Merlin scene could have been next (or immediately beforehand)  
 ~~4) Colin committed a horrible atrocity and now Johnny feels the need to keep an eye on him at all times~~  
 ~~5) Colin is actually a secret undercover agent, sent to spy on either me or Angel~~  
6) Colin could have been present to increase the sexual tension between Angel and me  
7) The whole thing is simply a coincidence and nothing more  
 ~~8) Scenes are easier to film for me when Colin's around~~_

– and of those three, only two seem genuinely, realistically viable.

It doesn't take long for the implications of that to sink in, and if it turns out to be true that they're playing off of Bradley's sexual tension with Colin in his romantic scenes with Angel – as Katie so fondly seems to believe – then Bradley knows that he might be forced to figure out why that is… and that suddenly feels like a frightening idea.

Shaking his head to clear it of any worries he might have – he still doesn’t know anything concretely, after all – it becomes obvious that it’s time to move into stage two of his plan: calling Johnny Capps directly to find out what’s going on, because if anyone would have the answers, it would be him.

~*~

It takes Bradley four days of playing phone tag with Johnny to finally get through to him. Bradley requests a face to face meeting, but Johnny is so bogged down by work that the best he can offer right then is a phone conversation, and it's certainly better than sitting around stressing over this, so of course he agrees.

“So, Bradley, what can I do for you?” Johnny asks when they connect at last.

“Um, well...” Suddenly, it feels like such a stupid reason to be bothering him, and Bradley has a moment of panic. He can just see it now – Bradley asks him the question about Colin and Johnny bursts out laughing. His laughter is followed by the calling in of all the executive producers in order to share how delusional Bradley is, and they will proceed to mock his daftness, which will be promptly followed by a drastic cut to his screen time. Soon he'll barely have any scenes with Colin, and then he'll rarely appear on screen at all, and they'll make Arthur even more clueless than before, and eventually some evil magical being will just kill him, and Bradley will be out of work and he'll have to turn to begging for money on the streets and—

“Bradley?” Johnny says, cutting right through the stream of madness racing through his overactive imagination.

Right. Yes. He's still on the phone, and Johnny's still waiting for him to say something. He runs a hand through his hair and gets up to grab a glass of water. ”Sorry.”

“That's all right,” Johnny says. What he doesn't say but is clearly implied is, _'I'm a busy man, so if you have something to talk with me about, you might want to do it soon.'_

Bradley takes a calm, steadying breath and braces himself for the conversation, pulling a glass out of his cupboard. “Okay, so, I was wondering if you’d seen the _Merlin_ episode that aired about four weeks ago? Where there was that, uh—”

“Editing error?” Johnny interrupts, sounding confident. “Yeah, I heard all about that. Is this why you rang me?”

“Er, yes. Well, sort of.”

“Obviously that wasn’t supposed to happen, but sometimes editing buggers things up. It didn’t bother you, did it?”

It’s a far more complicated question than Bradley knows how to answer, in all honesty. It isn’t that particular mistake that has him concerned, but it’s certainly the starting point. “No, I’m not upset. But I just… I don’t understand where that scene even came from.”

“Ah, I think I understand. Look, Bradley, when I asked you and Colin to do that run-through, I had no idea anything was being recorded until I looked back at the day’s footage and discovered it.”

And that’s fine; it’s fair. But it still doesn’t explain how the scene even made it into the final stage of editing at all. “But why was it even there in the first place?”

Johnny lets out a small sigh, and Bradley thinks that can’t be a good sign. He sinks heavily into one of the kitchen chairs, setting his glass of water down on the table, as yet untouched. “It ended up in final editing because it felt more authentic than what you and Angel had filmed. Perhaps due to the time constraints we were under that day, or the emotions required from you both in earlier scenes, I don’t know. But what I do know is that an accident ended up producing the results we were seeking, and as executive producer, my job is to put together the best programme that I can, using all available resources.”

To be honest, Bradley’s not sure if he’s just been insulted, or possibly Angel has – maybe both of them – and he feels compelled to press this point further. “So, wait, are you telling me that you had to use footage shot with Colin because I wasn’t able to produce the same level of chemistry with Angel?” Try as he might, he’s not entirely successful with keeping the incredulous tone out of his voice.

Bradley likes Angel. A lot. She’s one of the loveliest people he’s ever met and he truly enjoys spending time in her company. She is far less frightening than Katie, and when Colin and Bradley prank her, she just laughs and sends a few glares their way before moving on. Plus, she’s a great listener and friend. So naturally, this idea doesn’t sit well in his stomach for that reason alone, never mind any of the other implications it brings to the table.

“It’s not quite that simple, Bradley. But in some ways, yes, that’s exactly right.”

“Are you trying to imply that I don’t have chemistry with Angel?” he demands, feeling a little hysterical all of a sudden, for reasons that have little to do with Angel.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.”

Bradley blinks back confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“Sometimes actors have off days, or off scenes, where for any number of reasons, things just don’t go quite according to plan.” Silence fills the line, and then, “On that particular day, your run-through with Colin produced the effect we were looking for, so we decided to use that to our advantage. It has absolutely nothing to do with your acting abilities or your chemistry with Angel.”

Relief – and maybe, oddly, a touch of disappointment, even though that reaction is nothing short of ludicrous – washes over him. Unfortunately it is a short-lived relief, when he remembers the other incriminating evidence.

“I suppose that makes sense. But then it still doesn’t explain why something similar happened the next week, in that throne room scene during episode eleven. Or, for that matter, why I can recall Colin being present during the filming of virtually every scene I had with Angel in that whole filming block.”

The little startled cough that Johnny emits tells Bradley that he hadn’t been expecting him to figure that out, never mind confront him about it, and the fact that he clearly wasn’t imagining things in the first place means that he can also cross off number 7 from his list. Only two remain now, and it doesn’t take a genius to do the maths on that one.

Laughing just a bit guiltily, Johnny says, “I guess you caught me.”

It occurs to Bradley that actually confirming his suspicions about Colin's presence during the filming of these scenes could have some fairly significant consequences, and he wonders, perhaps, if it might have been better to simply speculate than to seek the actual truth. Still, it's a bit too late now to back out, considering Johnny's on the phone and he's already essentially asked the question. It is equally likely that the answer would have plagued Bradley until he knew, so in the end, regardless of what the results may indicate, it's probably best that he knows the truth.

Before he can change his mind, Bradley blurts out, “Has Colin been on set during my scenes with Angel to improve the chemistry between Arthur and Gwen?”

An enduring silence fills the space between them, and Bradley feels his throat tightening in nervous anticipation all of a sudden. It feels like hours before he finally answers.

“In some ways. But it was more of an experiment, really. To see if we could put a bit of a different twist on that dynamic…”

Johnny is still talking, but Bradley suddenly can’t hear anything beyond _’in some ways’_ , which means _’YES’_ in his mind. The rest of Johnny’s words blur into one continuous stream of nonsensical babble as his brain struggles to process what this all means. He has a feeling that he is on the cusp of discovering something important, but he can’t quite seem to grasp it just yet, and that merely adds to his frustration.

“—I’m sorry I kept it from you, but I hope you can appreciate why. It’s really nothing to be concerned about, though,” Johnny is saying. But it’s only when he finally stops talking that Bradley realises he’s waiting for some sort of response.

“Yes, well, that’s uh… that’s fine. Thank you for explaining,” he manages to force out, feeling a tad ill.

“It’s my pleasure. Now I’m expected in a meeting, so I have to run. But don’t hesitate to phone me again if you have any other questions. Have a wonderful holiday season and enjoy your time off.”

It isn’t until he hears the click through the line that Bradley realises the conversation is actually over.

It takes Bradley almost a minute to finally end the call from his line, still immobilised by the shock of the revelation from Johnny. He finds himself staring hard at the full glass of water still sitting on the table in front of him, noting for the first time how dry his throat actually is, and somehow manages to bring the cup to his lips. He downs the whole thing in one long gulp, feeling an odd sort of thrill at the way the short-term lack of oxygen makes his head spin.

So then, Katie was right, Bradley muses eventually, when the ability to think coherently returns. He feels as though he should be angry with her, but he can’t seem to muster up the energy. Besides, if he’s being logical, she only planted the idea in his head. She didn’t actually come up with the plan in the first place. 

Many things about the conversation with Johnny are bothering Bradley. Out of everything, however, he can't help but focus on the fact that they used his fake run-through with Colin in what was supposed to be a _romantic_ scene with Angel. It wasn’t a mistake that the run-through had aired, only that the truth had been discovered, and that fact is equally bothersome to him.

Sure, Bradley likes Colin. In all truthfulness, he adores him. They'd had a bit of a slow start, neither quite sure of the other, but willing to give it a shot and see what happened. But once Bradley learned how to interpret Colin's Irish brogue and navigate his dark sense of humour, they'd quickly moved from awkward intrigue to best mates. It additionally worked well for their on-screen dynamic, as their real life relationship ran parallel to the characters for the first half of the first series.

So what if he stares at Colin with unabashed affection sometimes? Colin is one of his best mates and quite possibly one of his favourite people in the entire world, and Bradley’s secure enough in himself to not be afraid to show that openly. So what if Colin's smiles elicit a grin from Bradley in return every single time they are aimed in his direction? Colin has a warmth and friendliness about him that inadvertently draws others to him. And almost without fail, if Colin is sad, then so is Bradley. So what if sometimes he is filled with the desire to ruffle Colin’s hair and feed him warm cookies, because Bradley’s noticed that he could probably afford to add a few pounds to his lean frame? Just because he occasionally finds himself watching Colin for a little longer than strictly necessary, sometimes distracted by the way the light hits Colin’s cheekbones, or how it seems to turn his eyes an even deeper shade of blue—

“Stop it,” Bradley scolds himself out loud. He leans forward, folding his hands in his lap and resting his forehead against the smooth tabletop.

All right, so fine… Bradley is willing to accede that maybe it’s possible he is closer to Colin than his other mates, a little more attached. But isn’t that only to be expected, given how much time they spend with one another? And it isn’t as if they just film _Merlin_ together and that’s the end of it; in fact, it’s typical for Bradley and Colin to spend the vast majority of their free time together in the evenings and when they have days off as well. It has even been arranged that whenever possible, they both are given their breaks at the same time.

So, then, naturally, it’s not inconceivable that some of their scenes might have a flavour of “romance” to them, given the closeness of their off-screen relationship. Surely it doesn’t mean that Bradley has _feelings_ for Colin. Does it?

Against his better judgement, Bradley decides to use the internet to his advantage by watching anything he can get his hands on – series one video diaries, joint interviews, this past series’ _’Colin and Bradley’s Merlin Quests’_ , behind the scenes segments from series two, and the road trip special. (He takes special care to avoid reading any of the comments left by YouTubers after accidentally scrolling through a few of them while watching the first video. The last thing he needs is to add fuel to this particular fire.)

Nearly two hours later, Bradley clicks pause on the last of the quest videos, the evidence laid out before his very eyes. He's always been aware of what some of the fans think about Arthur and Merlin’s – and even his and Colin’s – relationship, and he's more than happy to support them in their enjoyment of the show through whatever means they find satisfying. But never once before has he actually witnessed or truly understood where the claims of the “homoerotic subtext” have come from. Until now, that is. Because if Bradley didn't know himself – well, he might also be inclined to think that there was something more there, between him and Colin, if the way he gazes at Colin is any indication.

It is beginning to look, Bradley thinks, as if he is completely buggered.

~*~

“So, what's the crisis?” John asks with an uncharacteristically sympathetic smile as Bradley pulls open the front door of his flat an hour later.

“I never said there was a _crisis_ ,” Bradley argues, backing out of the doorway to permit him to enter. “I just asked if you wanted to come over and have a few beers.”

John shucks his boots and reaches for a hanger out of the hallway closet for his coat. “Well, when you invite me over and then insist I need to cancel any other plans immediately, should I have them, I'm sort of forced to come to the conclusion that there's something going on.”

Bradley chooses to ignore the comment. Instead, he treks into the kitchen and retrieves four beers from the fridge. There is no way he can have this conversation without a small helping of liquid courage. John, for his part, follows wordlessly behind Bradley until they’re seated in the living room, each with a beer in hand.

The first time Bradley speaks again isn’t until he’s nearly finished off his first drink, thoughts careening wildly like a tempest in his mind. He takes a final sip of the beer before setting the bottle down on the coffee table, suddenly fascinated by the condensation on the outside, as if it is the most amazing sight he’s ever beheld.

“How do you know if you—um, if you fancy someone?” he finally manages to ask.

It is such a stupid question, he knows, and Bradley can feel his whole body tense the second the words leave his mouth, muscles coiling tightly. But it’s also a necessary one, because this is something he _has_ to sort out. Right this instant.

“You think you fancy someone?” is the first thing out of John’s mouth, curiosity apparently getting the better of him.

Bradley’s eyes dart up to meet John’s gaze as he watches Bradley with interest, and Bradley finds that he can’t maintain the contact without feeling utterly exposed.

“Yes. No. Well, maybe. Er, I don’t know. But I think I might? I just…”

“It’s okay, mate,” John interrupts. “I’ll help you figure it out.”

“Thank you.” Bradley takes this opportunity to open another beer.

“Now, you know I’m no expert or anything, but let me ask you a few questions. First of all, do you enjoy spending time with this person?”

That is an understatement. “Yes. Quite a bit.”

John ducks his chin. “Okay, good. Let’s keep going with this. Would you rather spend time with this person than your other mates?” – That goes without saying, so he nods – “Do you find yourself noticing their physical, uh, attributes?” – If that other night at the pub with Colin was any indication, then he has to say yes – “Do you spend an excessive amount of time thinking about this person?” – He’s never really stopped to consider it before, but now that he is, he’s forced to admit that he does think about Colin. A hell of a lot – “Have you ever brought yourself off to the thought of this person—”

“John!” Bradley squawks in horror, cutting him off, face turning red even though he very much _hasn’t_.

“Sorry, sorry, just asking,” John says, raising his hands in surrender, though he doesn’t look nearly as contrite as Bradley thinks he should. “All right, so last question: Have you imagined yourself being with this person in a romantic way? Or if not, _could_ you?”

It is the ultimate question. In a lot of ways, at least during the eight months of the year when they are filming _Merlin_ , Bradley and Colin spend so much time together that they could almost, in theory, be in a relationship of sorts. Minus the sex, of course. It also isn’t altogether uncommon for either of them to fall asleep in the other’s room. But Bradley can honestly say he’s never explicitly thought about being with Colin – both in the physical and the life partner sense, despite noting his own general attraction to his co-star. He’s always just assumed that it was a natural consequence of working so closely with someone on a television series. Nothing worth dwelling on.

But for a few seconds, while he’s being granted the opportunity, Bradley takes a moment to imagine what it might be like, in theory, to actually be _with_ Colin – to wake up every morning tangled up in each other, to grab his hand and entwine their fingers as they stroll down the street, to feel Colin’s mouth meld with his own as they kiss, to go on a holiday together, to feel the swell of Colin’s erection beneath his hands, to steal secret smiles and touches and kisses between takes on set, to watch the ecstasy splayed across Colin’s face as he comes from Bradley’s touch, to laugh and to fight and to simply love…

At the heat that is beginning to pool in his groin, Bradley knows he finally has a definitive answer, though how it has taken so long to figure it out, he thinks he might never know. More importantly, however, is what the hell does he do now, with this new, overwhelming information?

“So, who is she?” John eventually asks, breaking the heavy silence that has fallen in the room.

Bradley ducks his head, keeping his eyes fixed on his feet, silent. Every few seconds he has to remind himself to keep breathing.

“…Or he?” John ventures a moment later. It’s no secret to any of Bradley’s friends that he’s experimented with blokes before, though has not, as of yet, been in a long-term relationship with a man.

Bradley knows that John’s speaking, but he can’t quite process what he’s saying over the roar of his own internal dialogue. One fact races over and over in his mind: There’s a reason… There’s a reason why some people think that Arthur and Merlin are in love, a reason why Johnny decided to use that particular scene in the show, a reason why Bradley can and will spend all of his time with Colin, if he is able to.

“Fuck,” Bradley says, at length, when the enormity of this revelation finally hits him like a punch to the gut. “ _Fuck._ “

Both of John’s eyebrows dart to his hairline, and he looks mildly alarmed all of a sudden. “What’s wrong? I’m sorry if I offended you. I shouldn’t have asked who you fancy. It’s none of my business.”

Groaning loudly, Bradley buries his face in his hands, a sick feeling washing over him that has nothing to do with the alcohol he’s just consumed, and before he can stop himself, he hears the words tumble from his lips: “I think I might be absolutely and utterly besotted with Colin Morgan.”

~*~

The rest of December flies by, and before Bradley even knows what’s happening, Christmas arrives. He spends the holidays with his family back in Devon, which turns out to be quite the experience. Bradley has a tendency to try and avoid spending too much time in the same room as all of his extended family, as they like to poke and prod into his personal life as if it’s their business whether or not he is seeing anyone or has plans to settle down somewhere more permanent. He knows they only ask because they care, but he’s growing steadily tired year after year of their meddlesome questions.

But because it means so much to his mum that she have her son home for the holidays, he finds he can never resist. Besides, he barely sees his sister these days, so it’s nice to have an excuse to hassle her for several days in a row, like he used to when they were small.

He also spends the vast majority of the time trying to _not_ think about Colin. Naturally, it is a massive failure. It also doesn’t help that he receives a text message from him just after dinner on Christmas day, saying: _Merry Xmas, Bradley. I hope your holidays are great._ He forces himself to wait at least half an hour before responding, and if anyone notices the stupid grin on his face the remainder of the evening, they keep it to themselves.

Though every once in a while for the rest of the night, his mum shoots him an inquisitive look, even though she doesn’t say a word, and Bradley wonders if maybe she suspects something after all.

~*~

When he receives a phone call from Katie a couple of days later, he knows that it can’t lead to anything good.

“So, Angel and I are hosting a New Year’s Eve party. You should come. And by ‘should’, what I really mean is that we’ll expect you there. Feel free to bring a date or friend or whoever you like, though. Also, Colin’s apparently going to be in town, so he’ll be there too, which should be all the more motivation.”

There are so many things to respond to in that brief statement that Bradley doesn’t know where to begin. Since when do Angel and Katie host parties together? Why does she expect him to simply drop any other plans he’s made? How does she know Colin’s going to be in London? And most importantly – why didn’t Colin tell _him_ he was going to be here for New Year’s? (He ignores the other question of why his heart starts fluttering in his chest the instant Katie mentions Colin’s name, because the answer to that is sadly obvious.)

Bradley thinks all of these things in his head, but the only word that manages to make its way out of his mouth is: “Okay.”

“Excellent, we'll see you then.” He jots down the information onto a scrap of paper before hanging up the phone.

He has a bad feeling about this.

~*~

Bradley makes the conscious choice to go to the party on his own, tempted as he is to ring Colin beforehand and suggest they go together. But the reality is that he’s not entirely sure how he’s going to react to seeing Colin again, now that he’s aware of his newly discovered feelings for his co-star, and he figures it’s probably safer to meet him there instead. Hopefully having other people around will prove to be a good buffer, should anything become awkward.

The house – which is apparently Angel’s parents’ place – is larger than he expects. It looks beautiful from the outside, so he can only imagine what it will be like inside. Others before him seem to just walk right in, so Bradley follows suit and does the same, a bundle of nerves coiling in his belly in anticipation as he grabs the door handle and pulls it open.

Not surprisingly, Bradley finds Katie, Angel and Colin all standing together just past the front entrance.

Bradley manages to make his way into the house and close the door before he nearly stops dead in his tracks at the sight of Colin. It’s not as if he’s wearing anything all that out of the ordinary, but Bradley will be damned if Colin looks anything short of unbelievably sexy. He’s wearing a black short-sleeved t-shirt over a white long-sleeved shirt, with well fitted dark blue jeans. His hair is short and tousled, as if he’s just run a hand through it a few times. The sight of Colin shouldn’t make him react this way – he hadn’t expected to respond to him quite like this, since the revelation happened, even if it makes sense – but Bradley can barely keep his jaw from dropping, and he’s grateful for the dark lighting, which hides the flush that instantly stains his cheeks.

His only saving grace happens to be the fact that Angel and Katie have noticed him, and are rushing to embrace him as though he’s the long lost brother they’ve never met.

As soon as they finally release him, Bradley realises everyone is waiting for his reaction to Colin. Not knowing what else to do, Bradley smiles broadly at Colin and pushes down his embarrassment and nervousness to clap him on the shoulder, squeezing briefly. “Nice to see you again, mate,” he says.

“You too,” Colin replies, grin bright.

They spend a few minutes catching up and updating each other on what they’ve been up to since filming ended. At some point, Katie notices an attractive bloke and she and Angel start giggling and whispering about him. Which opens up the opportunity for Bradley and Colin to talk.

“So, how’s the cooking coming along? Have you tried any new recipes since I left, or are you back to being a carnivore again?” is the first thing Colin asks. He makes it sound like some sort of criminal act.

Bradley chuckles. “Oi! I’m offended, Col.” He places a hand on his heart dramatically, which elicits a laugh from Colin. In all honesty, he’s done both, though he’s yet to sort out why he’s still eating vegetarian meals at least three times a week, in spite of the fact that he still greatly prefers meat. Thankfully, Colin doesn’t push the issue.

“Hey, so, before I forget,” Colin says, reaching into his pocket and fishing around, “I thought I should return the spare key to your flat. Guess I must have forgotten.”

This is, of course, the exact moment when Katie decides to start listening in on their conversation again, and before he can even reach out to grab the proffered key from Colin's hand, Katie is flailing about with a wild look in her eyes.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? Hold on one second. Are you trying to tell me that _Colin_ has a _spare key_ to your _flat_ , Bradley? Have you two been rooming together without telling us?” She looks positively ecstatic, eyes wide and lips curved into a mischievous smirk, and dear God could she possibly speak any louder?

“Katie, shut up or the whole party's going to hear you,” Bradley scolds and rolls his eyes. “And no, we're not rooming together. Stop making everything sound so sordid all the time.”

Angel chuckles softly into the back of her hand, trying to mask it as a yawn, but Bradley knows better. Still, it's Katie who's causing him trouble at present, so he keeps his focus trained on her.

“Please. No one here cares that much about you.” She waves her hand dismissively. ”So, why does Colin have a key to your flat?”

“Because he was staying in London at the end of November and you know how expensive hotels can be. Thought I'd save him the hassle and offered to share my flat for a week.”

“Well, that was awfully kind of you,” she says, even though her tone of voice seems to directly contradict her words.

“Yes, it was.”

“I bet you were a terrible flatmate. Probably made poor Colin sleep on the floor and live in your filth and eat animals.”

“Hey! I resent that!” Bradley exclaims, affronted. He folds his arms across his chest and tries to pout.

“He was a great host, actually,” Colin jumps in then, and Bradley holds back a groan. While he appreciates the fact that Colin's clearly trying to defend his honour, he really sort of wishes he'd also just keep his mouth shut around the girls. If you give them even the tiniest detail, they'll run with it for months. As it is, they've probably already given Katie enough ammunition to last the duration of filming for series four. “He gave me the bedroom, didn't charge me anything, and even made vegetarian meals for us in the evenings.”

“And my place was spotless, I tell you,” Bradley adds, with the hope of distracting Katie from the other information that was just shared with her.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. “You mean to tell me that Bradley cooked _vegetarian_ dinners for you? If that isn’t the sign of true—” at Bradley’s fierce glare, however, she pauses, “— _friendship_ , I don’t know what is.”

“I made the food for _both_ of us. I had to cook something for myself anyway, _Katie_ ,” he retorts, and fights the urge to stick his tongue out. Luckily for everyone, Bradley is far more mature than that. (He’ll just wait until she can’t see him.)

“I think what Katie is _trying_ to say,” Angel interjects, since she can probably see where this is leading, “is that you did a nice thing for Colin, and we’re both really happy to see you again.”

Everyone knows, of course, that this is not what Katie was trying to say, but it seems to defuse the situation before it gets out of hand, so no one complains.

“Thank you, Angel.” Bradley smiles gratefully at her, and she reaches out to squeeze his arm. “It’s great to see you too.”

It seems like more people are arriving, so thankfully, Angel drags Katie away to tend to her hosting duties, leaving Bradley alone with Colin.

Which would be wonderful, if Bradley's heart wasn't racing and his thoughts spinning out of control. God, how had he never noticed how utterly _gorgeous_ Colin was before tonight? Those full, pink lips and striking cheekbones, begging to be touched; the strong line of his jaw and— Bradley mentally shakes himself, forcing the thoughts from his mind. Now is not the time or the place to be indulging such things, especially not with Colin standing right in front of him.

Not quite knowing what to do all of a sudden, which is incredibly frustrating for Bradley, he slings an arm around Colin’s shoulder and leads him towards the food table. “So, tell me, how was Christmas with your family? I’ve no doubt it was far more enjoyable than mine.”

~*~

Bradley should have known this was all going too well, after joking around and chatting with Colin for the better part of an hour. He’s even managed to calm down and behave almost as a normal person might. He should have suspected that something would mess everything up. He just sort of never anticipated that it would be Angel, of all people.

“Hey, Colin, I know you didn’t sign up for this when you agreed to come to the party, but one of my good friends is here tonight, and I thought you two might hit it off,” Angel says, by way of greeting after she corners them at the food table a short while later.

Bradley feels his heart plummet to his feet and he actively resists the urge to frown. This is not a welcome bit of information at all.

“Oh?” Colin asks, both eyebrows darting to the ceiling in an uncanny imitation of Gaius.

“Yeah, I know you’ve probably heard that so many times before, but I promise you she’s a great girl; funny and smart and sweet. You two have a lot in common, actually.”

“Which all basically means that she has a lovely personality but isn’t anything to look at,” Bradley lets slip, quite by accident.

“Bradley!” Angel gasps, and reaches out to smack his arm. “That is so rude. And she’s quite beautiful, actually.”

He tries not to groan, biting his tongue, for once.

“So, what do you say, Colin?” Angel asks with a hopeful little grin. “No pressure. But just give her a chance. She’s fantastic, I promise.”

Bradley doesn’t realise he’s holding his breath at all until he hears Colin’s, “Erm, sure, I guess so.”

And this is the moment when Bradley knows that the night is about to get worse.

~*~

Unfortunately for him, it does just that, because Angel’s friend, Lila, is both beautiful and incredibly charming. And it’s obvious that Colin thinks so too, if his content little smile is any indication. She apparently loves all that indie music stuff that Colin adores so much, is a vegetarian, and her favourite actor is Sean Penn. Bloody _fantastic_ , Bradley thinks. Could they have any more in common?

When Colin politely excuses them with an apologetic smile a few minutes later, Bradley feels just a bit like crying, even though he knows he’s being pathetic.

He decides to head over to the alcohol table instead, since that might be the only thing that will get him through this evening, now that Colin’s been accosted by some beautiful girl that might as well be his future wife.

~*~

An hour passes with no sign of Colin and Lila, and Bradley is beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol in his system, which is particularly bad, since Katie has found Rupert and apparently decided that he and Bradley need to be hanging out this very instant.

“I don’t get what’s so great about blondes,” Bradley mutters, mostly to himself. “And what’s so terrible about chicken or beef or pork? Honestly, who eats like that anyway?”

“I definitely agree with you about the blondes,” Katie says, trying to interject her thoughts, almost as if she were trying to demonstrate some form of compassion for him, but Bradley barely hears her.

“I’m perfectly fine here all by myself. Don’t need anyone to keep me entertained. I can have fun without him. Hell, I can find my own blonde. I should do that, see how much he likes it.”

Rupert eyes Bradley warily and turns an inquisitive expression on Katie. “What’s with him?”

She shrugs nonchalantly, taking another sip out of her glass. It’s some brightly coloured drink that Bradley has no doubt looks girly but is actually quite potent, knowing Katie. “Not entirely sure, but I would guess he’s upset over the fact that Angel set Colin up with one of her friends.”

“Cheers to that,” Bradley says, and then thinks that he _really_ needs to shut the hell up right about now.

“Oh. Okay, then,” Rupert says, at length, as though he understands.

But he certainly doesn’t sound like he understands. Though, in all fairness, neither does Bradley.

~*~

Several drinks later – far more than he should be consuming in such a short period of time – Bradley isn't feeling so hot. In fact, he feels downright _awful_ \-- tired, overheated, light-headed, and maybe just a bit lovesick. He’d only intended on having a couple of drinks to lighten up. (He's also lost track of both Katie and Rupert at some point over the past hour, though he’s unclear on the details.) This is not what he expected. Closing his eyes, Bradley slumps against the wall at the end of a hall he’d managed to stumble to, grateful for the fact that no one seems to have noticed his presence. This hallway is slightly less crowded than the living room where all the action is, but he's still having a hard time breathing, as if he's suffocating on his own air.

Bradley tries to force his mind to focus on something else, anything else, something that is _not_ Colin – where he is, who he's with, and especially not what he might be doing with said companion – but he can't do it, much as he desperately wants to. Stupid Angel and her stupid friends. Stupid Katie for not doing anything to actively prevent this even though she seemingly knew about it from the start. Stupid Lila and her pretty blonde, non-ginger hair. Stupid Colin for looking enthusiastic and eager to 'get to know her'. But mostly, Bradley just thinks that he himself is the stupidest of them all for ever believing he could keep his crush on Colin under control in the first place. He knew this would be a bad idea, coming to this party, and now he's alone, pissed, and feeling right miserable.

This is ridiculous, that Bradley should be so upset about Angel setting Colin up with one of her friends at all. It's not as if Bradley has laid any claim to him. And it's sure not as if Colin even has a clue as to how Bradley feels about him. Hell, _Bradley_ only just came to the realisation himself a few weeks ago. They're at a New Year’s party, and he should be having fun, making new friends and trying to find someone to kiss when 2011 rolls in. But instead, he's wallowing in a pit of his own self-induced sorrow, like some pathetic lovelorn fool. Bradley knows that he's going to have to learn how to deal with watching Colin date other people, without resorting to alcohol, if he ever hopes to survive the next couple of years. Or just tell Colin how he feels. But somehow that seems like too big of a risk, without any inkling of whether his affections may be returned. It's not just their friendship that could be in jeopardy, but the show as well, and the simple fact of the matter is that Colin means the world to him. Right now, Bradley would far prefer to suffer in silence than lose Colin as his best mate, much as this whole situation is pure shite.

For a brief moment, Bradley considers getting another drink, but when he attempts to push away from the wall, the world starts spinning uncontrollably, and Bradley decides that staying here after all is just as suitable an option. Perhaps if he remains glued to this spot for another couple of hours, enough people will leave or pass out that he can just crawl his way out the front door without alerting anyone. 

While he's thinking about how his life suddenly took a turn for the worse, someone bumps into his side, probably on their way to the loo. If it’s even down this hall. He’s not all that sure, to be honest.

“Sorry,” Bradley mutters absently, keeping his eyes closed and head resting against the wall, arms folded protectively across his chest.

“Bradley?”

The voice nearly stops his heart in his chest.

“Colin?” he asks, prying both eyes open and forcing himself to glance over at Colin, afraid of what he might see – swollen lips, ruffled hair, clothes in disarray. Thankfully, he looks relatively intact, though that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

“What are you doing down here by yourself?” Colin asks, sounding concerned. They’re so close, too close. Bradley feels his pulse begin to race.

Bradley isn’t quite sure how to respond to that. Somehow he thinks, _’I came to wallow in my own self-pity because I drank too much with the intention of trying to forget the fact that you were off with some beautiful girl doing God knows what’_ won’t go over all that well. Instead he settles on a half-truth. “Too many people in the living room. I needed to get away.” There may or may not be a bit of a slur to his voice, though he can’t quite tell.

Colin frowns, eyeing him suspiciously. “How much have you had to drink?”

Does he honestly expect Bradley to do _maths_? Now? He’s not even sure he can form coherent sentences, never mind do something as complicated as _maths_. “I don’t know. A lot?”

And then, to make matters worse, Colin’s hands are suddenly on him, at his shoulder and one on his forehead, and Bradley is trying to ignore the way Colin’s touch sets his skin on fire, makes his breath hitch involuntarily in his throat, because he’s not operating on all systems at the moment, and doesn’t want to do anything that he might regret later.

“You’re burning up, Bradley,” Colin says, brushing a piece of damp hair from Bradley’s forehead as he removes his hand. “Let’s get you outside to cool off a bit. It’ll make you feel better, yeah?”

Colin takes a couple of steps forwards, and really, Bradley wants to follow, but he just doesn’t think he can move quite yet. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, I promise,” he says, allowing his head to fall back against the wall.

“No, you should come now, Bradley,” Colin insists, moving back into his personal space. And then Bradley feels a warm hand curl around his own, gripping it firmly. Bradley’s eyes widen in shock as he stares down at his hand cradled in Colin’s, and he thinks he might actually pass out right then and there.

But Colin simply smiles at him with that little smirk that always makes Bradley grin in return – and now makes his heart flutter ridiculously in his chest – and Colin tugs gently on Bradley’s hand. “I’ll help you. Come on, let’s go.”

Bradley follows obediently after Colin, sticking close to his side, and for a while, he wonders if he's fallen asleep and is in some sort of wonderful dream, because the Colin Morgan he knows is not a hand-holder, nor is he particularly physically affectionate. But this Colin is still grasping Bradley's hand firmly in his own, leading them through the very open and very public house, seemingly unconcerned with whether or not anyone notices. It's not as if they're flaunting their joined hands, but neither are they doing anything to hide the fact, and it would certainly be easy enough for someone to glance down and see the evidence for themselves.

The thought sends a thrill down his spine, and in a moment of alcohol-induced courage, Bradley decides to test the waters a little, knowing he has a ready excuse to fall back on, should this all go horribly wrong. As they wend their way through the crowd in the living room – honestly, how is this house so large – he shifts his hold on Colin’s hand, entwining their fingers in the process. It feels both exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure, and he holds his breath in anticipation of Colin’s reaction.

For his part, Colin barely reacts at all. He glances down quietly at their hands, hesitating for a mere fraction of a second, before he continues to guide Bradley through the throngs of people towards the front door. Bradley feels triumphant, and leans into Colin, resting his cheek briefly against Colin’s shoulder.

The cool air outside hits him like a slap to the face, but Bradley can finally breathe again, and he gulps in air greedily, not caring how ridiculous he must look. There are a surprising number of people out on the front deck, but Colin manages to guide them towards a couple of unoccupied chairs off to the side, away from most of the activity.

“Here, sit down,” Colin instructs, gently prying his hand from Bradley’s in order to guide him into the chair.

“Thanks,” Bradley says. It is a cool evening, but everything feels so much colder now that he’s not pressed into Colin’s side, clutching at his hand. He feels the loss immensely.

Neither says anything for a few minutes, simply sitting in their cold chairs, instinctively leaning into one another ever so slightly.

“So, what happened?” Bradley asks, at length. He's not sure he even wants to know the answer, but better to find out now, while he's drunk enough to handle the news, than when he's recovering from a hang-over.

Colin furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”

“With Lily. Or Lila. Or whatever her name was. Is. Er, what happened with her?”

The question is supposed to come across as casual, maybe even disinterested, but the way Colin's staring at him right now, he suspects that plan backfired.

“Nothing,” Colin says slowly, hesitantly, as though Bradley’s just sprouted wings right before his eyes.

“Nothing,” Bradley repeats, but he is still unconvinced. “Define 'nothing.' You've been with her for more than two hours. You must have done _something_.”

There is a long pause, and then, “I don't work like that.” His voice is soft, sounding almost a little hurt at the implication, and Bradley instantly feels guilty.

“I know. That's not what I— I didn't mean it like that.”

Colin nods, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay. Okay, that’s good.”

It's starting to snow, just a light dusting of white powder against a dark backdrop, but even though there is a chill outside, it still doesn’t feel cold enough for snow somehow. Still, the sight creates such a beautiful atmosphere, like something you’d see in one of those cheesy Christmas specials on TV that everyone claims are corny, but still makes them cry anyway. Not that Bradley knows anything about that, of course.

He knows he should leave well enough alone, but he still doesn’t know exactly what happened, and that’s not something he can let go of just yet.

“So, did you— did you guys snog, then?”

“Bradley!”

“We’re mates, right? Mates talk about these sorts of things,” Bradley says in defense, holding up both hands in surrender.

Colin regards Bradley with confused curiosity, and something else that Bradley can’t quite decipher. Shaking his head, Colin leans forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. “What part of nothing did you not understand?” he asks quietly.

“I might be a little bit pissed. ‘m not processing things like normal.”

This elicits a chuckle from Colin, and he looks over at Bradley with a smile. “Yes, clearly. Well, if you must know, nothing happened. We talked; that’s it.”

“Really?” Bradley’s heart does a little flip in his chest at the news, but he manages to push down the excitement long enough to show some semblance of concern. “How come? Was she really boring? Not a fan of _Merlin_? Did you find out she’s secretly a ginger?”

Colin knocks Bradley’s knee with his own, laughing lightly. But just as quickly as the mirth appears, he seems to sober. “No, she was nice. A very sweet girl, in fact. Just— not right for me.”

There’s something more there, something Colin’s not telling him. Even in his inebriated state, he knows Colin well enough to know that. But there is a finality to his tone, one that says _there’s nothing else to discuss here, don’t ask_ , so Bradley decides to drop it. Besides, he has the answer he wants, and he can breathe easier, knowing that Colin hadn’t done anything with that girl, even as his brain reminds him that there will be others in the future.

“So, what were you doing in that hallway by yourself?” Colin asks then, staring out towards the street.

Bradley shrugs casually, even though Colin can’t see him. “I wasn’t feeling well,” he says. It’s mostly true. Besides, the truth is really embarrassing, especially now that he knows he had nothing to be stressed out about to begin with.

“Were you drinking by yourself, then?”

“No!” Bradley immediately retorts. But then, when Colin tosses another glance over at him, he amends the answer to, “Well, not the whole time.”

Colin seems to consider this. “Did you have fun tonight?” he asks, eventually.

“Not really. But I am now,” Bradley says, before his brain has time to filter the response, and if it weren’t for the temperature outside, he’s quite sure he’d be blushing red hot.

A fond smile is turned on Bradley as Colin leans back in his chair. “I’m sorry I abandoned you, though. We both should be piss drunk right now, instead of just you.”

“It’s all right,” Bradley says, and this time he means it. Because now that he has Colin’s full attention again, nothing else really matters any longer.

Someone yells outside that it’s almost New Year’s, and that the countdown is about to begin, which causes a round of cheers to erupt on the porch.

“You cold? You want to go inside?” Colin asks then.

But Bradley shakes his head. “No, I’m good. I’m fine. How about you? You don’t need to stay out here with me if you’re cold.”

“Nah, I’m good. It was too hot in there anyway,” Colin says. Bradley tries to ignore how red the tips of Colin’s ears are, because clearly he’s making the choice to remain outside with Bradley, and selfishly, he doesn’t want Colin to leave.

A few minutes later, everyone starts counting down the seconds until 2011 finally descends upon the world. All around them, on the deck and inside the house, people are cheering and drinking and throwing around New Year’s wishes, but all Bradley can focus on is Colin – beautiful, wonderful Colin, who is sitting out in the cold of his own volition because Bradley is an idiot, and watching him closely, intently.

Bradley swallows thickly, trying to find his voice above the dull roar in his head.

But Colin is the one who speaks first. “Happy New Year, Bradley,” he says with warmth and affection, holding his gaze steadily.

Bradley rubs his hands together, as much to stave off the cold as to keep them from doing something inappropriate. “Happy New Year, Col. Oh, and happy birthday!”

Something heavy hangs in the air between them, this sizzling tension that is unspoken but has been present since Colin first took his hand inside, and Bradley is feeling reckless. He wants… well, he wants a lot of things. But right now, what he really wants is to feel Colin’s lips against his own, to run his hand down the side of Colin’s face, to hold him in his arms. But it’s risky. It’s so damn risky – New Year’s tradition or not – and Bradley’s already pushed the limits enough tonight as it is. What he needs is a sign, an indication that Colin won’t shove him away and refuse to speak to him ever again.

“Bradley—” Colin says huskily, and then a pink tongue peeks out to lick his lips nervously at the same time that his gaze drops just slightly.

And it is enough of a sign, enough confirmation that this might not be the worst idea he’s ever had. Before reason can kick in, Bradley closes the distance between them, pressing his mouth to Colin’s. It is nothing more than the soft brush of lips at first, Colin frozen against him, and Bradley thinks that maybe this was a terrible plan after all. But just as he’s about to pull away and cut his losses – sputtering an apology and making some joke about the alcohol taking possession of his brain – he feels Colin’s hand brush against his jaw, and then he’s responding, with enthusiasm.

Bradley instinctively reaches out until he touches fabric, twisting his fingers into Colin’s shirt and tugging him closer, knees knocking as they twist and lean further into one another. The kiss is soft and gentle, tentative, but eager at the same time, and when Colin’s tongue darts out of his mouth to run along Bradley’s bottom lip, he readily opens his mouth to Colin’s heat, shuddering with pleasure.

It all lasts far too quickly for his liking, and when they pull apart, panting and breathless, foreheads pressed against one another, Bradley has no idea what to say, where to even begin.

But the decision is taken away from them when the distinct sound of Katie’s voice calling their names pulls them back into reality, and as she, Angel and Rupert descend upon them with hugs, excited chatter and New Year’s greetings, the only thing his mind can process is the sensation of Colin’s lips against his own, and how he needs to experience that again as soon as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

When morning arrives – or early afternoon, as seems to be the case – Bradley awakens to a splitting headache that pounds relentlessly against his skull. He groans, pulling the covers over his head, and allows his brain to think on what had happened the previous night, after he’d kissed Colin. He knows he’s in his own bed, but the details surrounding how he ended up here are still a bit hazy. Vaguely, Bradley recalls someone driving him home – Rupert, he thinks – but he’s quite sure Colin was there too.

Rolling to the side, Bradley tugs the comforter away from his face. On the nightstand, he finds a tall glass of water and a couple of paracetamols, which he gratefully ingests, though he knows he didn’t put them there in the first place. It isn’t until he places the cup back on the table that he notices the piece of paper underneath.

Pushing himself into a seated position, Bradley rubs the sleep from his eyes and grabs the note. A smile unconsciously slips onto his lips at the sight of Colin’s familiar scrawl.

_Bradley,_

_You’re kind of a deadweight when you’re drunk and half asleep, in case you weren’t aware. Thankfully I still had your flat key. And Rupert’s assistance, because I don’t think the two of us would have made it on a bus or the Tube._

_I’ve done you the favour of leaving a couple of paracetamols and some water for you, because I suspect you’ll need it come tomorrow. You’re welcome, by the way._

_About last night… I know you had a lot to drink. Quite a lot, in fact, so if you want to pretend like nothing happened, no hard feelings or anything. I have an early flight back to Armagh tomorrow and you won’t be able to reach me for a couple of days (long story)._

_Anyway, Rupert’s giving me a funny look, so I should probably stop writing before he decides to make me walk back to the hotel. Feel better. We’ll talk soon._

_Colin_

Bradley blinks and reads the note one more time, just to be sure he understands exactly what it is that Colin has said. Obviously the first bit is self-explanatory, but it’s the third paragraph that throws Bradley for a loop. He sinks back into bed, the paper still clutched in his right hand.

There are only two real options here, he figures, after further contemplation. Either Colin thinks what they did last night was a mistake, and this is his way of gracefully backing out without insulting anyone, or he’s giving Bradley an out, a way to save face. Especially if he happens to believe that Bradley was behaving under the influence of alcohol, instead of under the influence of genuine feelings he has for Colin.

Admittedly, Bradley has done some insanely stupid things when he’s been drunk in the past, but never once has he snogged a mate, using tongues no less, unless he was genuinely interested in pursuing something. Contrary to what some might think about him, Bradley also isn’t into one night stands. His mum raised him to respect women – and, well, _men_ by extension – and he’s never been able to forget that message.

So really, Colin’s left him with a choice to make. He can pretend that nothing ever happened between them, or he can acknowledge what transpired last night. It seems unlikely that Colin will reject Bradley, at this point, considering his reaction to Bradley’s advances, which makes the note more protective, perhaps on both of their ends. But there’s an enormity to this situation, and there are immensely significant consequences to his actions from the previous night that are only now just beginning to manifest in Bradley’s mind.

He realises that he has a great deal to sort through. But it can’t be done with this pounding headache. So, with a sigh, Bradley places the paper back on his night stand and shuffles back under the covers, hoping that things will seem clearer when he next wakes.

~*~

When Bradley wakes up for the second time that day, it is to the sound of his mobile ringing shrilly in his ear.

Fumbling wildly for the phone, Bradley manages to grasp hold of it on the fourth ring. “Hello?”

“Brad?”

Oh, _God_. There’s only one person on earth who has permission to call him ‘Brad’, despite years of vehement protesting on his part. “Steph. What a pleasure.”

A snort filters through the line. “Don’t sound too excited to hear from me. Can’t a sister call her little brother?”

“You’re barely five feet tall, and less than two years older than me. I’d hardly call me your ‘little brother’.”

“Yes, well, now you’re just arguing semantics.”

Bradley can’t help but smile. He kicks the covers off and slips out of bed, padding across the floor towards the kitchen to retrieve some more water. Thankfully the paracetamol seems to have worked on his headache, though his sister is another story altogether. “Yeah. Right. So, not that I’m not thrilled to hear from you, but why are you calling, exactly?”

“Ooh, someone’s moody. Did you have a rough night or something? Too much to drink? Or maybe you couldn’t find anyone to ring in the New Year with you?”

Rolling his eyes, Bradley tries not to let his voice betray anything. He learned long ago to never give Stephanie any fuel to use against him. “My night was fine, thanks. It was great, even, if you must know.”

“Great? Glad to hear it. So… give me the details.”

Bradley makes a face. “Ugh, I am _not_ sharing details with you. Why would you even want them?”

“Ah,” she says, sounding triumphant, “but that implies that there _are_ details in the first place. So, who did you snog?”

“No one you know,” he says. Which technically isn’t true. Stephanie met Colin once, when she visited the set last year, but she doesn’t need to know that.

“Was it someone you just met then?”

Wow, she’s nosy. Not that this comes as a surprise, but he doesn’t exactly want to get into this with his sister, of all people. “No, it’s someone I know. Very well, if you must know.”

“Is it serious?”

“Steph! It was one snog. Stop making it out to be something more.”

“But you want it to be.”

“Why would you think that?” he asks carefully, leaning back against the kitchen counter. 

“I can hear it in your voice. Besides, I’m your sister, and I can just tell these things.”

“And you’re also mad.” He’s not entirely sure why he’s denying anything. Everything she’s saying is true. But it’s complicated, so much more complicated than some bloke he met at a bar, or through his mates, and he needs to think through this more before owning up to anything.

“Yes, well, you keep telling yourself that. But I say you go for it, if you fancy this person. Just make sure it’s not someone you work with.”

Bradley’s blood runs cold at the words. “Why would you say that?” he asks.

“Because it rarely works out. I dated a co-worker once and it was great while it lasted. But then things became incredibly awkward after we broke up and I had to see him every single day. It hurt. I have yet to hear about a successful office romance.”

“But surely they can’t all fail?”

“Of course not. But the chances of it going well are slim.”

It feels like a kick to the gut, not because he isn’t already aware of this information, but because he is. And as much as Bradley would love to dismiss his sister’s claims as nothing more than biased drivel, he knows that she also might have a point.

“Yes, well, it’s not someone from work,” he lies. “But enough about me. How was your New Year’s Eve?”

Nearly ten minutes later, and several attempts at refocusing her attention – though admittedly Bradley is having a bit of a hard time concentrating himself – he finally manages to get her back to the original purpose of her call.

“Mum’s birthday is coming up next month, as you know, and I wanted to do something special for her. Throw a party. You can even bring your new flame.” Bradley groans, but it doesn’t stop her. “Anyway, are you in?”

“Yeah, of course. You know I’d do anything for Mum.”

“Great! I’ll be in touch. Later, Brad.”

Bradley sighs and walks over to the table, sinking into a chair, heart heavy and mind full of a million conflicting thoughts.

~*~

For the next two days, Bradley tries to sort out what the right decision is in regards to Colin. Usually he’s not one for such deep contemplation – either he wants something and acts on it, or acknowledges that it clearly isn’t appropriate and moves on. This, unfortunately, just happens to be one of those rare situations that doesn’t fit nicely into either category.

Sure, he wants to be with Colin more than anything right now. That fact isn’t up for debate. And maybe he’s jumping the gun here, but he suspects that a relationship with Colin could be absolutely incredible, especially since they’ve already learned to read and adjust to one another so well. But if they get involved and for some reason things don’t last until the end of the series, the atmosphere on set will go from fun and supportive to awkward and, well, _not_ fun. And no doubt, Katie will find some way to make it out to be his fault, no matter what happens. Plus, it has the ability to jeopardise _Merlin_ , and that’s an awfully huge risk to take, even if he sort of thinks Colin’s worth it anyway.

In the end, Bradley concludes that he doesn’t have the right to make this decision independently of Colin, because it concerns both of their lives. So he resolves to wait until they’re able to sit down and discuss everything in person.

When they finally connect again a day later, Colin starts has an announcement.

“I was offered a small role in a dark, independent Irish film, which was why I needed to fly home so quickly,” he says.

“That’s great! Congratulations, Col,” Bradley says, and he can’t help but feel pride welling up in his chest.

There is a pause, and then, “Actually, erm, well... I haven’t exactly said yes yet.”

Bradley snorts. “What’s holding you back?”

The silence that follows is telling. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why Colin might be hesitating, and something warm unfurls in his stomach at the implication. Of course, they both know he’s going to take the role regardless, but Bradley suspects that maybe Colin would feel better about it if he knew Bradley supported him in this.

“Don’t be absurd,” Bradley says. As much as he’s anxious to speak with Colin, to see him again even though it’s only been a few days, there is no way he would ever permit him to give up such an amazing opportunity. Even if it means that Colin will be tied up until the end of February. “You’d be a fool to pass up something like this.”

The beaming grin can be felt through the phone line. “Of course. Thanks Bradley.”

Unsurprisingly, they never quite get around to discussing the events of New Year’s Eve that day.

~*~

January passes by uneventfully, and then his mum’s birthday arrives at the beginning of February. He never intends on bringing Colin, even if he would have been available, but he can’t help but feel a bit lonely anyway. Stephanie takes the opportunity to hound him further on the subject of his mystery love interest while he continues to deny any knowledge of what she’s blathering on about. It isn’t until his mum seems to catch wind of their ongoing argument that he finally puts his foot down and refuses to discuss the matter further.

He talks to Colin at least once a week, though it’s usually for a limited period of time. Colin sounds like he’s running himself ragged, which comes as no surprise to Bradley whatsoever, but it’s clear that he’s having a great time filming this movie, and as much as he aches to sit down and talk to Colin _right now_ , Bradley is glad he encouraged Colin to take the role.

“I’m done in two days, can you believe it?” Colin asks one evening, towards the end of February.

Bradley can. Time hasn’t exactly flown by in the same way it has for Colin, but he’s managed to keep himself busy with a few smaller projects – two audio commercials, a chat show interview and a charity event.

“I know. It’s hard to imagine that we’ll be back to filming again so soon.”

Truth be told, Bradley can’t wait. Not only to see Colin again, but also to get back to work. It’s been far too long.

~*~

The first thing Bradley does, before they even do the initial read-through of episodes one to three of series four, is meet with Johnny.

“You don't need to put Colin in my scenes with Angel any longer,” he says, feeling quite stupid for even needing to have this conversation in the first place, but he can't go into the next filming block without clearing the air first. “I'll be fine. It'll be great.”

He doesn't actually know if that's true or not. Especially given the fact that he wants Colin now more than ever, and the minor detail that he's also _aware_ of his feelings, where he wasn't before. But maybe that will work to Bradley's advantage, if he can learn to control it now.

Johnny folds his arms and smiles, leaning back in his chair. “I hadn't intended to, so you have nothing to worry about.”

Maybe he’s over-reacting, but he's not one hundred percent certain he actually _believes_ Johnny. Still, he's said what he needed to say, and at this point, all he can really do is trust that Johnny will keep his word. Besides, it won't be that difficult to figure out, if Colin starts randomly showing up on set again when he has no reason to be there otherwise. The one fear he has, though – and has had since he first found out what Johnny was doing – is of others figuring out what Johnny is trying to do, should he keep up with this plan. It would be nothing short of embarrassing for Bradley, but somehow he suspects Colin would be even more mortified than him about the whole thing.

“All right, excellent. That's great, thank you,” he says.

~*~

A nervous ball of energy twists in Bradley’s gut while he waits in the conference room for the arrival of his fellow cast mates. He would be lying if he claimed he wasn’t slightly more excited to see one _specific_ person in general, even though he adores practically everyone on set. But then, if he’s honest with himself, this has probably been true for the last two series as well.

He can’t help but feel a sense of uncertainty as to what’s going to happen when they see each other again. The last time they were physically together, Colin was holding his hand, and Bradley was drunk, which ended up leading to one hell of a snog. But that was just over two months ago, and they weren’t surrounded by their co-workers and friends at the time. Who knows what will happen today?

Besides, there is no guarantee that Colin is still in the same place as Bradley about everything – and no concrete evidence that he ever truly was. (Of course, the whole ‘snogging him with tongues when Colin was clearly sober’ thing might argue to the contrary.)

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to wait long to find out the answer, as everyone taking part in the read-through that day somehow manages to arrive at the exact same time. Hugs and laughter and excited chattering fill the room as everyone greets one another. It feels like a family reunion.

Entirely by coincidence – or fate, perhaps it’s fate, Bradley thinks – Colin is the last one to make his way over to Bradley. For several seconds, neither says anything, but Bradley can feel the pounding of his heart, hear the way his own breath quickens just slightly in anticipation, and he shoves both hands into the pockets of his hoodie, fisting the material on the inside.

Colin is the one who speaks first. “Bradley. It’s good to see you again.”

His smile shifts, a little less wide but certainly no less fond. In fact, it feels more intimate and private. Bradley’s seen this smile directed his way before, but it’s only now that he wonders if perhaps it’s a smile that is meant for him alone, ridiculous as the idea might be. It makes his insides feel warm and squishy, and he likes the thought enough to continue to entertain it, regardless of its truth.

“You too, Col,” he says, and pulls Colin in for a hug.

It doesn’t last long, but there is no mistaking the way Colin squeezes him extra tight, and Bradley has to keep reminding himself that they are in public, that there are a room full of witnesses, and it’s enough to keep him in line. At least for now.

~*~

The first few days back at work are as hectic and stressful as ever. It's always a difficult transition to return to working twelve plus hour days and getting up at the crack of dawn for most of them.

Everyone spends the first couple of days filming during daylight hours, running lines and eating dinner together in the evenings (if they’re able), and retiring to bed as early as possible. So, Bradley supposes it’s not _that_ surprising that he doesn’t actually notice Colin hasn’t been heading back to his hotel in the evenings like everyone else.

“Where are you going?” Bradley asks with raised eyebrows after dinner on the third evening. They’ve just finished eating and are heading back to the hotel in Cardiff. Except for Colin, who starts walking in the opposite direction instead.

Colin squints at Bradley in confusion, the light from the street lamp giving him an almost ethereal glow. “To my flat.”

“What do you mean ‘to your flat’? Since when do you have a _flat_?” Bradley folds his arms, trying to hide the surprise – and ultimately, the disappointment of realising they won’t be next to each other in the hotel any longer.

“Since the beginning of March. I just wasn’t able to move in until a few days ago. I told you about it, Bradley.”

“I don’t remember that.”

Colin eyes him as though he’s not sure if Bradley’s even being honest with him. He wishes this was all a ruse, but unfortunately it’s quite legitimate. “On our first day of filming?”

“You were there, Bradley,” Angel pipes in. “We all were. It was just after we finished eating that questionable dinner we’d ordered in from room service.”

 _Oh._ Bradley vaguely remembers the conversation now. Or, more accurately, he remembers that they’d had a conversation, though he knows he couldn’t ever hope to recall the details. It’s possible that he might’ve been entranced by Colin’s plush pink lips – which is a terribly hard distraction to resist; he’s only human, after all – and instead of listening, merely began imagining the things those lips could do. It’s not as if he’s proud of himself for it, and it’d been a gruelling day of filming. Plus, he was still adjusting to having been Colin-less for the past two months. Though this doesn’t exactly answer his newly arisen question of _why_ Colin decided to get himself a flat in the first place, and Bradley makes a mental note to find out at some point in the near future.

Of course, even Bradley realises that this is information best kept to himself, so he lies and says, “Oh yeah, right. I remember now. Must have slipped my mind. It’s been so busy these past few days, sometimes it’s impossible to keep track of myself, never mind everyone else.”

Katie’s eyebrows shoot up on her forehead, but thankfully she keeps silent, while Angel smiles and nods.

Colin shuffles a bit awkwardly from one foot to the other then, as if he knows he _should_ leave but clearly doesn’t want to. After a few seconds, though, he seems to make up his mind. “Well, I should be going. Early start tomorrow. Good night, everyone,” he says, smiling at them all, though his gaze rests the longest on Bradley. And then with a wave, he’s off in the opposite direction.

As Bradley and the others walk back to the hotel, he feels a strange, longing urge to turn back and join Colin instead, and he concludes that he desperately needs to talk to Colin about everything as soon as humanly possible.

~*~

The following day, fairly early on in the afternoon when there is a slight lull in filming, Bradley manages to grab Colin and drag him away from everyone else for a few moments.

“Um, so I was wondering,” Bradley starts, and dear God how is it possible that he sounds this much like a girl already? “I was thinking that we should hang out the next time we both have a day off. Maybe continue with our _X-Files_ marathon? Or plan another prank on the girls. And talk. About, uh… stuff. And, um, _us_. Yeah. If you want to, that is.” He cards a hand through his hair and shoots Colin his most charming, if not slightly abashed, smile, pretending all the while as if his cheeks aren’t just a bit warmer than they were a few minutes prior.

There is nothing but silence for several seconds as Bradley forces himself to continue breathing normally. But then Colin is grinning shyly at him, and his nervousness melts away once more. “All right. That sounds great, Bradley. Let’s do it as soon as we can, yeah?”

Unfortunately the next time they both have a day off at the same time isn’t for almost two weeks, because there are a large number of scenes they need to film together, in addition to their other independent scenes. Still, they’ve waited this long already. Two more weeks should be a piece of cake in comparison.

~*~

Two weeks, as it turns out, might actually be enough time for everything to go to hell.

It is lunch time on Friday and Bradley's day already isn't going that well. He's spent the morning filming a particularly draining emotional scene; usually he's able to pick himself up after without much difficulty, but then usually he has Colin around to help, and since he has the day off – the lucky bugger – Bradley feels a bit out of sorts.

He's drifting casually through the lunch line, not particularly excited by any of today's meal choices, when he hears the sound of giggling girls at his back. Tossing a glance over his shoulder, he notes Katie and Angel are sitting at a table off to the side and is suddenly glad of their presence. Sometimes their brand of inane, girlish chatter drives Bradley mad, but he has to admit that they can also be quite amusing at times, which is precisely what he needs right about now.

“They’re going on a date? Really?” he hears Katie say, her voice uncharacteristically quiet, as he walks up to their table.

He takes a seat, playfully shoving her out of the way while Angel smirks at them. Katie smacks him on the arm, but slides over anyway. “So, who’s going on a date?” he asks. It’s not that he particularly cares, but if a distraction is what he’s looking for, then obtaining set gossip from Katie and Angel is the perfect plan.

“Uh, no one,” she says, a little too hastily. “It’s not really all that interesting.”

“It isn’t that big of a deal, Katie,” Angel cuts in, shrugging casually. “I wasn’t sworn to secrecy, and I’m sure it’s fine if Bradley knows.”

“Yeah, but I doubt he’ll care.”

Angel narrows her eyes suspiciously at Katie, as if she’s trying to figure out what Katie’s angle is, but has no idea what it could be. Which automatically implies that there’s something more to this conversation that Katie obviously doesn’t want him knowing about.

If she’s trying to hide something from Bradley for whatever reason, she isn’t doing a very good job of it. “Well, now you have me curious. Who are you talking about?”

From his peripheral vision, he sees Katie tilt her head quickly, and Angel is still eyeing her curiously when she says, “Colin’s going on a date with my friend Lila. The girl I introduced him to at my New Year’s Eve party.”

Bradley swallows, then nods slowly as he takes in this information. He’s not jumping to any conclusions just yet. In fact, he refuses to. There’s probably just been some misunderstanding somewhere along the line.

“I’m sure they’re just going for a cuppa,” Katie says, and actually pats Bradley’s arm. He stares at her.

Angel blinks, and it’s almost as if they’re carrying on the conversation without any conscious awareness of Bradley’s presence. “Well, they’re going for dinner. That sounds like a date to me.”

Shrugging, Katie shakes her head. “Not necessarily.”

Bradley wants to point out that he agrees with her – and isn’t this a momentous occasion, when Bradley actually _agrees_ with something that Katie’s said? – but he decides to keep his mouth shut and just listen.

“I know they’ve kept in touch since the party—” Angel is saying, and _this_ is news to Bradley. He had no idea that Colin was still in contact with her. Not that it’s any of his business who Colin talks to, nor would he ever try and make it out to be, but he assumes Colin still would’ve mentioned something about that in the past two months. “Everything points to a date.”

Bradley still isn’t jumping to conclusions, because that’s not what he does. He’s just a little put off by all this information.

Unrelatedly, he’s also sort of lost his appetite.

“I should get going. Have a scene to prepare for,” Bradley says, scratching a bit awkwardly at the back of his neck before standing and taking his still full tray with him. “Thanks for letting me sit with you.”

Neither girl says a word as he walks away, but nonetheless, Bradley still can’t help but overhear Katie’s strained _“Angel!”_ a few moments later.

~*~

That evening, as Bradley’s sitting on the hotel sofa watching _Buffy_ episodes in an attempt to distract himself – honestly, how can anyone be upset while watching _’Once More, With Feeling’_? – he is tempted to give Colin a ring, find out what he’s doing, even though he already knows. 

Unconsciously, he finds himself wondering what’s going on, if they’re talking quietly over an intimate dinner, holding hands, Colin smiling brightly with those crinkles he gets in the corner of his eyes. Maybe he’s inviting her back to his flat after, because no one would know about it, and—

Bradley shakes his head of these thoughts and cranks up the volume.

~*~

Needless to say, he doesn’t sleep all that well, which makes for a quiet ride in the van the following morning. Usually the girls barely manage to keep their heads upright, while Bradley and Colin sing and joke around and are just generally energetic arses the entire time, but Colin doesn’t need to be on set until noon that day, and he has his own flat now, so he isn’t with them anyway.

Which is fine. Bradley hasn’t exactly figured out what he wants to say to Colin when he sees him, so in that respect, he can rest easy. So instead of trying to engage Katie and Angel in conversation, he merely pulls up the hood on his jumper, closes his eyes, and rests his head against the window.

At some point, they must assume he’s fallen asleep, because they start talking in hushed whispers in the back seat as if he can’t hear what they’re saying.

“Did you find out what happened last night with Colin and Lila?” Katie asks.

There is a brief pause, and then, “She didn’t give me many details, but she said their dinner went well.”

“So it _was_ a date then?”

“Well, she didn’t say it was,” Angel admits, and Bradley has to force himself to keep his breathing even and slow, so as to not arouse their suspicions that he’s still awake and actually listening. “But she did say she finally got something she’s wanted for quite some time.”

“Which was?”

Bradley holds his breath, heart racing wildly in his chest.

“A kiss from Colin,” Angel says, and if he’s not mistaken, she almost sounds guilty.

Katie curses softly, and Bradley suddenly feels ill. How is it even possible that this is happening when everything seemed to make so much sense a couple of days ago? Tugging the hood further down his face, Bradley tries to pretend that this changes absolutely nothing, even though he knows that couldn’t be further from the truth.

~*~

Filming is fine throughout the morning – he’s primarily working with Eoin and Angel and is able to throw himself into the role – but everything changes when the afternoon rolls around and Colin arrives on set. They’ve recently begun filming the magic reveal, something both of them have been wanting since the beginning of series two, but it’s difficult for Bradley to be excited about any of it when he feels like everything is crumbling at his feet and he’s helpless to do anything to prevent it from happening.

“You have magic,” Arthur says, sword falling from his hand.

“Arthur, I… I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t. I had no choice,” Merlin says, his face twisted with guilt and regret.

“You lied to me, Merlin, for _four_ years. You’re a sorcerer, and you never told me.” His voice is low, gruff, the betrayal written clearly across his features.

Merlin’s mouth opens and shuts several times in succession, as if he wants to say something but doesn’t know what. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I only ever wanted to protect you.”

“Get out of here,” Arthur demands, pointing in the opposite direction.

“Arthur—” Merlin protests softly. But Arthur can’t do this right now.

The director yells “cut”, and Bradley immediately backs away from Colin, because this all feels too real, is hitting too close to home for him.

He is stopped by a hand to his arm, and he has to force himself to meet Colin’s imploring gaze.

“Bradley, are you all right?” Colin asks, but the concern in his voice only serves to anger Bradley instead.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says curtly. “I just didn’t sleep well.”

And before Colin can say anything else, Bradley turns and walks away, trying and failing to ignore the dull ache sitting heavily in his chest.

~*~

That evening Katie and Colin are working late, which saves Bradley from having to engage in any sort of social interactions. It fills him with a sense of relief, because he doesn’t think he has the mental energy to fake it tonight. Instead, he orders room service, grabs a beer, and permits himself a night – just one – to wallow in self-pity.

Collapsing onto the sofa with a beer in hand, Bradley wonders when the hell everything went to shit. It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, if he looks back on everything that has occurred in the past few months. He’s invested a great deal of time sorting through everything, and had been certain that he knew what was going on. Unless… unless there is an _alternate_ way of interpreting everything, and suddenly, unexpectedly, a whole new picture forms in Bradley’s brain.

What if Colin had merely kissed him out of a sense of tradition, going with the flow of what’s expected on New Year’s Eve instead of because he truly _wanted_ to? Not to hurt him, of course – because Bradley knows Colin wouldn’t ever do something like that to him – but just in the spirit of fun and celebrating. It was clear at the time – or at least it seems clear in Bradley’s memory – that Colin hadn’t exactly been repulsed by the idea of snogging Bradley either. The note, then, that Bradley found the next morning could very well have been the product of Colin trying to ensure this wouldn’t change their friendship, once the potential implications of his actions sunk in. It would also explain why he never brought anything up about that night, even once filming had started again. There’s nothing to talk about when it was just a friendly snog between mates, after all.

Angel’s already confirmed that Colin and Lila stayed in touch over the past couple of months, so it’s not unfathomable that he might have developed feelings for her in that time, even if they didn’t initially connect in that way. Clearly, she’s finally come to her senses and realised how incredible Colin is, and since Colin likely isn’t interested in him anyway, why wouldn’t he give her a chance? There is, of course, the matter of their “date” to discuss their relationship, and why Colin agreed to it if he has feelings for someone else. But then, perhaps he genuinely never even realised what Bradley meant in the first place and assumed they were just going to hang out like they always did.

To make matters worse, Colin’s been acting as if nothing has happened, as if nothing’s changed. But Bradley catches Colin watching him, looking at him like he’s worried, and there is definitely no sense of responsibility in his eyes when he does, which means that he doesn’t believe he’s done anything wrong. And he’s not the kind of bloke to mess around like that, so Bradley is forced to conclude that his earlier theorys holds even more weight, in light of the facts.

He flops back on the sofa with a frustrated groan, throwing an arm over his eyes. He is not going to cry over this. This is stupid and ridiculous, and _nothing’s even happened_ to warrant such a reaction anyway. Bradley’s tough. This is just a harmless crush that he will find a way to overcome (except that it’s more than a crush, so much more, and he damn well knows it). He is not going to do this tonight, as much as he might like to, and that’s final.

Except for the minor fact that his body is putting up one hell of a fight, and this is the first time in as long as Bradley can remember that even _Buffy_ can’t cheer him up.

~*~

Somehow, things don’t feel quite as awful the next morning, though it’s possible there are other factors interfering with his misery. Mostly that he doesn’t have to wake at the crack of dawn, and that his mum and sister are coming down to visit for a couple of days.

Unfortunately the whole purpose of them coming to visit is to watch Bradley film, which only adds another layer of anxiety to his already fragile state. The last time his mum had visited the set, he’d been incredibly nervous, and that was when he wasn’t a complete mess. He can only imagine how things might turn out today.

As it turns out, they’re still filming various scenes from the magic reveal and subsequent fall-out between Merlin and Arthur, and today happens to contain another one of those vitally important, charged scenes between them.

There are no difficulties during the first half of the scene, but towards the end, it begins to fall apart at the seams, and after the seventh terrible shot, the director stops filming to check in on him, as if things weren’t already bad enough as it was.

“Everything all right, Bradley?”

He nods, avoiding eye contact with virtually everyone around him. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Let’s go again.”

“You sure?” 

And all he can do is nod in response, while inwardly scolding himself for being so unprofessional. 

“All right, then. From Colin’s line at the start of page thirty-two.”

Bradley hops in place three times, forcing himself to enter Arthur’s world and leave his own for a while. This is Arthur’s pain, Arthur’s hurt, Arthur’s betrayal, not his own. If he can just remember that, he thinks he just might be able to get through this.

“Look, Arthur, I know I’m just your servant, but you have to understand the position I was in.”

“You’re not—” Arthur swallows, and sucks in a shaky breath. How does he even begin to explain what this all means to him? “You’re _not_ just my servant, Merlin. You know that.”

Arthur is crowding Merlin’s space now, one hand planted on the wall behind his head, shaking with frustration and hurt and something indefinable but distinctly _there_ all the same. Merlin bites his lip, and stares at Arthur with sad blue eyes, brimming with unshed tears, and the sight makes his breath catch in his throat.

“You were my friend.”

Merlin’s fingers curl around his wrist like a whisper, the warmth of his touch like fire to Arthur’s skin. “I still am,” he says, voice barely audible over the thrumming of his heartbeat.

Arthur closes his eyes as he struggles to keep his emotions at bay. “But you _betrayed_ me, and I don’t know how to deal with that. How can I trust you, when you’ve been lying to me for so long?”

“I never meant to hurt you,” Merlin says, voice breaking, and Arthur knows – somewhere deep down he knows – but that doesn’t make the betrayal any easier to bear.

They stand, staring at one another with such intensity that Bradley almost doesn’t hear the familiar “cut” he usually anticipates.

“Take five,” the director calls out then, and Bradley’s itching to run away so badly, but he knows he can’t. His eyes drift shut briefly, and he squeezes the bridge of his nose, already sensing the first signs of a wretched headache coming on.

When his eyes open once more, Colin is staring at him, and Bradley just knows he’s going to say something in that concerned and gentle manner that’s become one of the things Bradley simultaneously adores and loathes about him, but thankfully he is saved by his sister.

“I need to talk to you,” she says, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him in the opposite direction.

She drags him well across the set, nails digging painfully into his wrist until he finally wrenches free from her grasp and they stop.

“Ow, Steph! Was that necessary?”

As has been the case for nearly his entire life, she ignores the comment. “Oh, my _God_ , Bradley, why didn’t you _tell_ me it was Colin?”

Bradley’s hands fly of their own accord to Stephanie’s face as he attempts to cover her mouth. “Would you keep your bloody voice down?” he hisses. “Unless you _want_ every person in a ten mile radius to hear you.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” she says, lowering her voice and grabbing onto his arm again. “But I was just surprised and excited. I had _no_ idea it was Colin.”

“No idea _what_ was Colin?”

“The person you fancy.”

Bradley blinks and tries to pretend they are not having this conversation. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, _please_. You two looked like you were about five seconds away from snogging each other’s brains out. I’m not _blind_ , Brad. I have eyes.” She folds her arms across her chest, staring at him with a challenging expression on her face, as if daring him to deny it.

At that moment, Bradley decides it’s official: his life can’t possibly get any more miserable. For a few seconds he contemplates denying the claim anyway, but in the end he knows there is no point. She will hound him until he finally confesses anyway, so he might as well just come out with it and save them both the trouble.

“It’s that obvious?”

“I hate to admit it, but yeah. Though I am quite skilled at picking up on these things.”

If that’s supposed to somehow make him feel better, it fails. Quite spectacularly. He scrubs a hand down his face, heaving a melancholy sigh in the process.

Thankfully, she gives him a moment before asking, “So, uh, are you two like a couple now, or what?”

“No. No, Steph. Just, no. We’re not.” It feels as though someone is rubbing salt into his wounds, still all too fresh, and he’s a little surprised at the emotion that seeps into the words. What he wouldn’t give for this conversation to end right this very second.

“How come? Is it because—Oh, _shit_.” Stephanie’s eyes widen as realisation dawns on her. “Is it because I told you that you shouldn’t get involved with someone you work with? Because, yeah, it’s not always the best idea. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t necessarily give it a chance either, yeah?”

Bradley shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair, belatedly remembering that make-up will pitch a fit if he messes it up. “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

That feels like a terribly unfair question. How can he explain things without really coming right out with it? “Complicated in that I don’t want to talk about it. Something happened, and, uh, yeah. I don’t think he’s interested in me, and I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship.”

“You don’t _think_ he’s interested, or you _know_ he’s not?”

The question leaves him with a sour taste in his mouth and he scrunches his nose up in annoyance. “Well, I don’t know with one hundred percent certainty, but I’m quite positive he doesn’t.”

“I take it you haven’t actually chatted with him about any of this then?” she asks, as if it is the most logical thing in the world, and Bradley wonders if maybe it is.

“Chatted?” he parrots.

“Yeah. Like what you and I are doing right now. I know it’s such a foreign concept, but _surely_ you’ve heard of it before?”

Bradley makes a face. She can see he’s clearly stressed out about this, so how does she react? By poking fun at him, naturally. The joys of having a sister, Bradley muses wryly to himself. “Of course I know what having a conversation is. We do it all the time.”

“Just not about anything important, I guess?”

He decides not to respond to that one.

“So, let me just clarify what you’re telling me, then,” Stephanie continues, when it’s apparent he’s not going to comment. “You two snogged on New Year’s Eve, you haven’t talked about it since, something mysterious happened, and now – without bothering to check in with him at all – you’ve decided that he’s not interested and instead you’re going to pine from afar like a lovesick sod?”

“I—” Bradley starts, but he doesn’t know where to go with this, because fuck, she’s painfully right, so he clamps his mouth shut instead, casting his eyes to the ground in embarrassment.

“That’s what I thought,” Stephanie says. She pats his arm gently, and the action is surprisingly soothing on his frayed nerves. “You both are _such_ blokes. It’s your life, so do what you want, but seriously, I think it would do you a world of good to just _talk_ to him. Try and clarify whatever it is that has you convinced he’s not interested in you. Because much as I don’t really want to think about you kissing anyone, you _both_ looked more than ready and willing, from what I saw.”

But before Bradley has a chance to respond, the director is calling them back to their places, and he’s suddenly grateful for it. Still, he can’t help but admit that she’s given him some very important things to consider.

~*~

The next day, they decide to do the whole tourist thing, even though Bradley doesn’t particularly consider himself a tourist any more. His mum provides him with an update on every single member of their extended family – much to Bradley's chagrin – and Steph even has mercy on him and lays off on the talk about Colin, attempting to distract him instead.

Halfway through the day he receives a text message from Beth, of all people: _hey! gonna b in bristol tomorrow 4 a week visiting a friend. i'm close, if u wanna have dinner. let me know._

It seems like an odd twist of fate, but he's not reading too much into it. He sends back a quick reply – _good 2 know. i'll see how things go. have fun w/your friend!_ – before promptly forgetting about it.

Despite the pleasant day off, Bradley feels a rush of anxiety that night before going to bed, after seeing his mum and Stephanie off. He's managed to go for more than five minutes at a time without thinking about the situation with Colin a few times throughout the day, but that was only due to the thorough and constant distraction that was provided by Stephanie and his mum. But tomorrow he's back to work, filming scenes with Colin virtually all day long, and he has no idea how he's going to survive the day, stave off the hurt that grips his heart every time he lays eyes on him. Bradley knows that it will get easier in time, but right now... right now it's still so raw.

He does know that Stephanie is probably right in that he needs to talk to Colin. But he's a bloke, and blokes don't usually talk about their feelings. It's sort of the way it's always been. So the notion that seems so logical to his sister is actually quite foreign to him. The problem is that his evening with Colin is only two nights away, and he has to sort some of this out before then, unless he wants to end up looking and feeling like a complete and utter arse. 

Lunch ends up being the first and potentially only time they have an opportunity to talk. And thankfully, Katie and Angel are nowhere to be seen, which will make the whole thing easier, despite the fact that there is nothing remotely easy about this. The one concern he has is about bringing up this situation in a natural way, because he knows that Colin will see right through him.

Thankfully, Colin inadvertently opens the door almost immediately after they sit down.

“So, how was your day off? Did you have a good visit with your mum and sister?” Colin asks as he digs into his salad. 

Bradley nods. “Yeah, it was fine. Though it reminded me why I usually only spend time with them in small doses. Can't handle much more than that.”

“I know what you mean. Family can be a pain in the arse. But we only get one, so we have to learn how to deal with them somehow, yeah?” Colin says companionably. Either he hasn't noticed Bradley's tension all morning long or he's choosing not to comment on it, though Bradley suspects the latter to be true. Colin's been watching him with a careful eye for the past several days, hovering and occasionally asking questions like he knows _something_ is up, but has no inkling as to what it could be. It would almost be sweet, in a way, if it didn't make everything that much more frustrating.

“Yeah. It's a lifelong process for some, I hear,” Bradley says, trying and failing to throw some humour into his tone. In spite of that, Colin smiles knowingly at him.

And it’s nothing really, just the simple upward pull of his lips, but Bradley’s heart flutters in his chest at the sight anyway, and he knows that he needs to get this conversation over and done with as soon as humanly possible.

Before he can talk himself out of it, Bradley forces the question from his mouth. “How about you? You had a good day off as well?”

Colin squints at him in confusion. “I was here yesterday.”

“I know,” Bradley says, and takes a deep, calming breath. Unsurprisingly, it does little to help with his frayed nerves. “But you were off a few days ago and we never talked about it. Did you do anything interesting?”

Shrugging, Colin swallows a bite of his salad before saying, “Not really. I had a nice lie in, went out for a walk and bought a few books.”

“What books did you buy?” It’s not so much that he cares as that he doesn’t want to jump too quickly into finding out about the date, or whatever it was, with Angel’s friend. Colin lists them all off, but Neil Gaiman is the only author he actually recognises.

“Did you do anything else?” Bradley presses in as nonchalant a manner as he can muster. So far this isn't going as well as he'd hoped.

“Had dinner with a friend.”

“Oh, yeah?” Bradley tries to sound casual, as if he had no idea and this is the first time he's ever heard this information.

Colin nods and stabs at his salad. “Yeah.”

“Is it a mate from drama school, or…?”

“No, just a good friend.”

Bradley holds back a frown, wondering how far to push this. He decided prior to having the actual conversation that he wasn’t going to come out and just _ask_ Colin about the kiss with Lila, because it can only make him look mad, or worse – jealous. And if Colin doesn’t reciprocate his feelings, then he’s going to have a great deal of explaining to do. What he wants, what he truly desires, is for Colin to tell him about the kiss of his own volition. Because somehow, if he does that, Bradley feels like it will still be okay, even though there is nothing objective he’s basing this belief on.

“So you just went out for dinner then? Anything interesting happen?”

“While out for dinner?” Colin stares at Bradley, a bit perplexed, assessing. “Not really. We just ate and talked.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Our lives.” Colin’s expression clouds over. “Bradley, what’s with all the questions? Why are you so interested in this?”

Bradley folds his arms and glares down at his lunch. “I’m not. It’s nothing. I just—”

“What?”

He sucks in a breath. “Is there anything you wanted to tell me?”

Colin’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead in an alarmingly accurate imitation of Gaius, clearly confused. “Such as…?”

And there is his answer. It’s clear that Colin isn’t going to budge on this without Bradley flat out asking him about Lila. There’s probably an implication buried somewhere in this information, but he’s too upset to sort through any of it at the moment.

“Nothing. Never mind, it’s okay. I was just wondering,” Bradley says, and cringes at the way his voice wavers just slightly.

“Bradley—”

“It’s nothing, Colin. Don’t worry about it,” Bradley tries to assure him, even though he feels like he’s been punched in the gut.

They finish their meal in relative silence, and while it’s obvious that Colin wants to say something, Bradley is grateful that he remains quiet, because he doesn’t want to break down right now, here at work.

~*~

Bradley manages to stumble through the rest of the day and the following morning in a haze. Somehow, he’s able to pull himself together with the reminder that he has a job to do and numerous people counting on him, and filming goes surprisingly well, all things considered.

Thankfully, the afternoon’s schedule involves Bradley and Colin filming separate scenes, and for the first time in the four years he’s been working on _Merlin_ , Bradley’s grateful for it.

As soon as their last joint scene has been filmed, Bradley makes to sneak away and avoid lunch – he doesn’t have an appetite anyway – but Colin manages to catch him before he’s able to make his escape.

“I know you have to go,” Colin says, running a hand through his hair, “but I just wanted to make sure we’re still on for tonight?”

Bradley bites his lip. He certainly hadn’t forgotten, but he can’t help but wish that maybe Colin had. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re on. But I’ll probably be late.”

He has no idea why he says it. He doesn’t have any other plans, no reason why he shouldn’t be there on time, but there is a tiny part of him that wants to go down fighting, even if he’s the only one who knows that’s what he’s doing.

Colin’s face scrunches up. “Why?”

There is a pause, in which his brain considers the various options, but even he’s surprised at the words that leave his mouth. “Because I have a date.”

~*~

He doesn't have a date. _Obviously_ he doesn't. The lie is ridiculous and absurd and he has no idea why he'd even say such a thing. It is a defensive, knee-jerk reaction and Bradley regrets the words the instant they leave his mouth. But the damage is already done, already out there, and he can't help but feel a twinge of guilt at the startled – and slightly hurt – expression that falls across Colin's features. No matter how shitty he feels, hurting Colin never once factored into the equation.

There is a part of him that wants to take it back, to admit that he was lying and that he doesn't have a date. But that will only open the floor to all kinds of questions that he's neither ready nor willing to answer.

Before Colin can say anything, Bradley mutters a few words under his breath that may have been something along the lines of, “I have to go” before hurrying past him and walking away as quickly as possible.


	5. Chapter 5

Six hours later, Bradley is climbing into Beth's car as they head out for dinner. He doesn't even know why he called her, exactly. Perhaps convenience (though the drive she had to make from Bristol to Cardiff isn't particularly convenient by most people's standards), or perhaps because he knows Beth and feels comfortable around her. He doesn't quite fancy trying to pick up some random girl in a pub in order to make his lie slightly _less_ of a lie, so this is the only logical solution he can think of. Either way, she'd been chuffed to hear from him and insisted on coming out that evening, which only makes Bradley feel like more of a prat.

They end up at a little café somewhere on the other side of the city, though Bradley has to actually look at the menu to remind him of the name.

“I’m really glad that you were available for dinner tonight,” Beth says as she opens her menu. “Truthfully, I didn’t actually expect you to contact me at all, but I’m glad you did.”

To be honest, he’s not sure what to say to that, so he opts for, “That’s good,” and buries his face in the menu, hoping that it doesn’t make him sound too aloof.

Several minutes pass in relative silence before their waiter arrives to take orders.

“What can I get for you?” he asks, pen and pad of paper in hand. Bradley tries not to notice the fact that their waiter is tall and thin, with a dark mop of scraggly hair and a pale complexion. He’s a nice-looking bloke in Bradley's perspective, and around his age too, it would seem. Though it figures, he muses sardonically, that he’d be served by the only bloke in the restaurant to remind him of the person he’s desperately trying to _forget_ at the moment.

“I’ll have the fish,” Beth says, pointing to the item on the menu.

“Excellent choice,” the waiter replies, smiling broadly. “You have great taste.” There’s an air of flirtation in his tone, and if this had been a real date, Bradley might have made some comment about it. But as it stands, Bradley’s a little distracted by his uncanny resemblance to Colin. Or, maybe he’s just seeing what he wants to. The idea tugs painfully at his heart.

There is a lengthy pause before Beth nudges him under the table. “Bradley? What are you ordering?”

“Oh. Right.” He realises then that even though he’s been scanning the menu for the better part of five minutes, he hasn’t actually _read_ a single world. There’s a surprisingly large selection of vegetarian dishes here, he can’t help but note.

“Um, I’ll have this,” he says, pointing at a random item, because it doesn't really matter what he picks. It’s all going to taste terrible – he already knows this – so what he orders is irrelevant.

“Very well.” The waiter hurries away after writing Bradley’s order down, leaving them alone again.

By nature, Beth has always been a chatty person, and thankfully tonight is no exception. In fact, it might even be more extreme than usual, considering the fact that they haven't actually sat down for any extended period of time since before the break-up. Bradley asks as many questions as he can think of in an effort to both keep her talking and simultaneously prevent the focus from turning to him, which seems to have the desired effect.

Nonetheless, he is still eternally grateful when their food arrives, though less so when he sees what he ordered. It’s a rather large salad of some sort. Though considering his lack of an appetite, this might be the perfect meal for him.

Beth continues prattling on while Bradley mostly picks at his food, pushing it around the plate and reorganising it more than actually eating anything. It has weird items in it – things Bradley doesn't think really belong in a salad – such as apples and dried cranberries. Since when do people put _fruit_ in salad anyway? Unless you're making a fruit salad, of course, but there are definitely lettuce and onions in this. Bradley thinks Colin would probably love something like this salad, all healthy and lean and delicious. Well, Bradley can't say for certain what it tastes like, since he's only had a couple bites and those tasted like sawdust. But maybe he'd be willing to come back and try again. As it turns out, eating vegetarian isn't so bad after all, even if he still loves his steak. Though, the veggie burgers Colin made for him last November were surprisingly satisfying, and he's been forced to concede that perhaps Colin isn't completely mad when it comes to choosing this lifestyle.

“Bradley?”

The sound startles him and his head shoots up. “Yeah?”

“Are you all right?” Beth asks, brow furrowing in concern.

“I'm fine.” He blinks. “Why?”

“Because you've barely said two words all night,” she says. “You've spent the last five minutes pushing your salad around on your plate, and I sincerely doubt you've heard a single word I've just said. In fact, it sort of feels like I'm not even here at all.”

“That's not true,” he lies, then hopes that she doesn't call him on it.

“Okay, then tell me what I was just talking about.”

Well, shit. How the hell is he supposed to know? It's not that he hasn't been _trying_ to listen to her, he just hasn't been able to maintain his attention for, well, the majority of the evening, truth be told. But damn it, he's made the attempt, and surely that has to count for something. Vaguely, a memory returns of something she's mentioned at some point this evening and he mentally crosses his fingers that it'll be enough to convince her that he's been listening at least somewhat.

“The trip to the States with your sister?” He shoots her what he hopes is a charming smile.

“Bradley, that was fifteen minutes ago.” Beth folds her arms and gives him a look. “What's going on with you? And don't you dare try and tell me that you're fine, because we dated for two years, and I _know_ you. You are _not_ fine.”

For a moment he wants to deny it, but similarly to Katie and Stephanie, once Beth gets an idea in her head, she's hard-pressed to change it without swaying evidence to the contrary. Seems to be a theme with the women in his life, it would appear. But even more than that, he rang Beth on false pretences, dragging her out for dinner in some ridiculous attempt to avoid the real issue of his feelings for Colin, and that's not fair. It wasn't fair when he called her, it wasn't fair when she drove all the way out here, it wasn't fair when she picked him up from the hotel, and it isn't fair now that they've been here for close to an hour and Bradley's done little more than spend the entire time with his mind anywhere but here. At the very least, he owes her the truth, or as much of it as he can comfortably share.

Instead of answering immediately, Bradley's gaze drops to land on his dinner plate, suddenly finding it fascinating. There's a cranberry attached to one of the apple slices. Bradley pokes at it with his fork, but they remain stuck. Maybe it's meant to be, that the fruit would stick together, clinging to one another in a vegetable world. Seems symbolic, somehow, Bradley muses. That, or he's looking for some existential sign that everything will work out in the end, that he'll be okay. Though admittedly, seeking explanations in salad doesn't exactly seem like the wisest, most informed way of obtaining the answers he needs. 

“You're right,” he admits, sighing heavily. “I'm sorry. I never should have rung you up in the first place.”

“No, no, don't say that.” Beth reaches over and pats his hand gently, lips pulling into a smile. “If you're having a difficult time, then you need friends to help you through it, yeah? You know I'm here for you.”

That's the thing about true friends; they're there for you, even when you're behaving like an arse, and Bradley knows that he's lucky to have such great ones. That being said, telling Beth the truth is a risk, not just because he'll be laying out private details of his current love life to an ex, but because of who he is. Bradley knows he's not any more bloody important than the next person, but the reality is that there are certain hazards that come with his line of work, and this is the type of information that could potentially come back to haunt him if the media were to get wind of any of this. But the truth is that he trusts Beth, has known her for many years, and she's one of few people who knew and cared for him long before he became slightly more noticeable in the world. If he can't trust _her_ with his secret, then he probably can't trust anyone.

“All right. I'll tell you. But this is just between you and me,” he says.

Beth nods solemnly. “Of course.”

So he tells her. Everything. In as much detail as he can handle sharing, because if he's doing this, then he's going to do it properly. At first, he tries to tell the story without giving away identifying information as to who he's fallen for, but that lasts for all of about thirty seconds before he's forced to start naming names, unless he wants to fabricate a whole new set of lies. Beth sits across from him, picking away at her food as she listens intently to his story, nodding and humming and commenting in all the right places. It's unclear to Bradley what she's thinking about the whole thing, at least from the perspective of having dated him for a significant period of time, but he doesn't sense any shock or condemnation, so for that he is grateful.

When Bradley's finished telling his story, he leans back in his chair expectantly, both anticipating and dreading what she's going to say about the whole situation. Oddly, he feels as though a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, even if he hasn’t exactly done anything to resolve the problem. But even talking about it, getting all of his thoughts and feelings out in the open, makes Bradley feel better. Beth’s eyes flitter away from his to focus on something over his shoulder, and he can tell by her distant, glazed-over look that she's lost in thought.

Finally, after what feels like hours, she leans forward and folds her hands.

“I’m sorry for all the distress this has clearly caused you,” she says, eyes filled with sympathy. “But I guess the thing that stands out to me is the fact that you’ve already condemned Colin without ever hearing his side of things. There could be hundreds of reasons why Colin didn’t tell you about the kiss, but you haven’t given him the chance to explain. And for that matter, you don’t even know with absolute certainty that he _did_ snog anyone at all in the first place.”

Bradley supposes she makes a decent argument, but it’s not enough to sway him just yet. “Yeah, but Angel wouldn’t lie about something like that. She sounded convinced herself.”

“I’m not suggesting she lied, Bradley. All I’m saying is that you don’t know Colin’s side of the story. Are you really willing to just walk away from this without knowing for certain what it is you’re walking away from?”

In spite of the heartache he feels, that question isn’t difficult to answer. “Of course not. But what do I do if he’s not interested? What if I ruin our friendship by telling him everything?”

“It sounds like you might be doing a good job of that _without_ talking to him,” Beth points out, and the truth of her claim stings just a little. “At least if you admitted your feelings, you’d finally feel some semblance of relief. And you don’t know how Colin will react. Maybe he feels the exact same way about you as you do about him and the whole thing was a big misunderstanding, but how will you ever know unless you do something about it?”

It’s a fair enough point, and for the first time, Bradley has to concede that she’s probably right. He hasn’t exactly been straightforward with Colin through all of this, and even if he _is_ with Lila now, Bradley deserves to know that too.

“You’re right,” he admits, and is surprised by the ease with which the words come out of his mouth.

Their waiter returns to the table a few moments later with their bill in hand, looking mildly impatient. That’s when Bradley realises that it’s almost ten and they’ve been in the restaurant for over two hours.

“Do you want me to drive you back to your hotel?” Beth asks once he's paid their bill (it's the least he can do under the circumstances). 

But Bradley shakes his head. “No. No, it’s okay. I think I’d rather walk.” 

“Are you sure? It’s so far.” She frowns, propping her chin on her palm.

“I know. But I need some time to sort things out. Look—” Bradley gives her other hand a squeeze. “I’m so sorry for dragging you out here on false pretences, and then being the worst possible company I’ve ever been. It was a terribly rude and selfish thing for me to do, and I apologise for forcing you to put up with me.”

Beth waves a hand at him. “No, it’s fine. I meant it before when I told you that I was glad you’d given me a ring, and I stand by that. It was nice to see you again, and it’d be great if we could do this more than once every three years.” She smiles warmly at him. “Anyway, I hope everything works out all right for you in the end.”

She hugs him good-bye and carries on her way, and Bradley steps outside, preparing for a very long walk.

* * *

Rain pounds against the window of Colin’s flat, storm having really picked up since Bradley arrived. Thankfully, soaked though he may have been, he’d managed to miss out on the brunt of it. He watches the trails of raindrops forming patterns against the window pane distractedly as he finally reaches the end of his story.

Bradley swallows, tongue thick and nerves frayed as he risks a glance over at Colin, who has been listening to him recount every last detail of the past four months of his life with frightful honesty, and the idea that he's all but admitted to being in love with Colin makes him feel reckless and more than a little terrified. But in some ways he also feels a sense of relief, because the truth is finally out there. And even if Colin takes his heart, stomps it to the ground until there's nothing left, Bradley thinks that it probably can't hurt much worse than he's already been hurting.

“And so you spent the next three _hours_ walking around Cardiff?” Colin asks with a mild sense of disbelief, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline.

“Er, yeah. Basically. I had a lot to think about,” he says and cards a hand through his hair. That is an understatement, but he doesn't consider it necessary to bore Colin with the details of every single fear and possible scenario that had tumbled through his mind in a never-ending cycle.

“Am I allowed to speak now?” Colin asks, fingers still slowly sliding back and forth across the back of Bradley’s hand in a deliriously distracting manner. How he managed to share this story in the first place without falling apart, he will never quite know.

He wants to say no, to keep living in this fantasy world where it’s still possible that Colin’s interested in him, but once he has his say then Bradley will finally have to accept reality, even if reality is not what he hopes it will be. But he didn’t come to Colin’s flat in the middle of the night to walk away again before he’s had a chance to at least respond to Bradley, so he pushes aside those worries in favour of giving Colin a chance to at least respond to everything he’s said.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Much to Bradley’s surprise, Colin pushes up off the sofa.

“Stand up,” he orders with a small gesture.

This can’t be good. Colin’s probably about to kick him out of his flat for being an idiot, tell Bradley that he’s sorry, but he just doesn’t feel _that_ way about him.

“Colin, look,” Bradley starts, but he stands anyway. “I know what you’re going to say, and I just—”

But Bradley is cut off when Colin pulls him into a tight embrace, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and the other around his waist. It is so completely unexpected that for a moment, Bradley doesn’t even know how to react. However, when Colin buries his face into the crook of Bradley’s neck, it’s almost as if his body can’t help but respond, and he feels himself sink into the hug, hands fisting in Colin’s shirt. He has no idea what’s going on, but he simply can’t find it in himself to care. Colin’s fingers slip under Bradley’s shirt, rubbing soothing circles into his lower back, and the sensation sends a shiver through his body.

“Fuck, Bradley, I’m so sorry,” Colin murmurs into Bradley’s neck, giving him one more squeeze before reluctantly pulling back.

Bradley blinks, so many thoughts tumbling through his mind as to what Colin could be apologising for. 

“Why?” he asks, as Colin indicates for him to sit again.

However, instead of returning to his spot on the sofa, Colin perches on the edge of the coffee table, sitting directly across from Bradley.

“Shit. I knew there was _something_ going on. I knew and I— Well, I just assumed you'd talk to me when you were ready, but I shouldn't have left it for so long when it was _obvious_ ,” Colin sort of rambles, staring hard at his hands. ”I wish you'd come and talked to me sooner.” He shakes his head and curses again.

At this point, Bradley still has no clue as to what Colin's reaction means, exactly. Nor is he clear on whether or not Colin actually reciprocates his feelings or if he just feels guilty for not being honest and admitting the truth about Lila earlier. But at the very least, he hasn't been kicked out of Colin's flat, so he's hoping that implies he hasn't ruined everything by finally coming clean.

All the same, he needs to give them both an out, should Colin need it, because Bradley doesn't want to lose him, no matter how much the idea of Colin loving someone else stabs painfully at Bradley's heart. “I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but I'm sure I'll get over it in no time.” It's a lie, of course, but he feels compelled to say it anyway. ”Just needed to air things out, you know? And if you'd prefer, we can just pretend like this conversation never happened at all and go back to how things were before.”

He is aware, of course, that they've already done this dance before, and it didn't exactly have the desired effect, but he's sort of reached the point where all rationality has been taken off the table.

“Bradley, shut up. It's my turn to talk now,” Colin says, and reaches over to take one of Bradley's hands in his own.

Bradley swallows and nods, forcing himself to listen over the sound of his pounding heart, thrumming like a drum against his skull. Colin strokes his thumb over the top of Bradley's knuckles, and concentrating becomes even more of a challenge.

“I don't know how everything became so fucked up, but since we've wasted so much time already, I'm going to keep this short. I'm not dating Lila, I don't want to date Lila, and I never did.”

Bradley eyes him somewhat sceptically, even as he feels hope rising in his chest for the first time in days. “How is that possible? It seemed like you two were perfect for each other.”

“Just because we had a few interests in common? That's not enough to make a good relationship. She was a very sweet girl, and we hit it off right away, but only as friends.”

“Why?” The words leave his mouth before he can filter them out.

Colin shrugs one shoulder as heat rises in his cheeks for the first time. “Er, well I sort of had to tell her that I had, feelings. Very strong ones. For someone else. You don’t honestly believe that I just kissed you because it was New Year’s, do you?” he asks, staring purposefully at Bradley.

For a moment, Bradley forgets how to breathe. But he forces himself to take a step back before he loses control. “But what about that note you left for me on New Year’s Day?”

A thoughtful look passes over Colin’s face, and he turns away for a moment. “Oh. That. Well, I knew you’d managed to get yourself quite pissed that night and I didn’t want to hold you to something you didn’t want, when the hangover wore off.” 

That couldn’t have been further from the truth, but how was Colin supposed to know that? Still, relief washes over Bradley at the knowledge that he _hadn’t_ misinterpreted everything the first time around, and in fact had been correct all along. If only he’d been able to trust himself.

There is only one thing remaining, one final detail that needs to be sorted before Bradley can finally release the relief and joy that’s ready to burst in his chest. “But then why did you get together with Lila recently? I, uh, well, I overheard Angel and Katie talking about it, and Angel was under the impression that you’d gone on a date. And that you’d— um, that you’d kissed her.”

“Oh, _Bradley_ ,” Colin murmurs soothingly as he leans close and reaches up to brush his fingers against Bradley’s jawline. “There must have been some miscommunication between Angel and Lila, because it was never a date, and we both knew that. In fact, she was passing through and we thought it’d be fun to have dinner. Plus, I sort of wanted to get her advice on what to do about our date… get-together… whatever this night was supposed to be. She’s become a good friend in the last few months, so at least something came of Angel attempt at setting us up.”

“And the kiss?” Bradley prompts, trying not to sound too eager to have the final piece of the puzzle.

“After we ate dinner, in which she’d given me some very sage advice about what to do, I kissed her on the cheek as thanks. It never even occurred to me to tell you, because it meant absolutely nothing to me. It was about as romantic as kissing my nana.”

“Then what happened?” It sort of slips out, unintentionally. “With Lila, I mean? Why did she tell Angel you’d been on a date and kissed?”

Colin shrugs a shoulder, appearing unconcerned. “I asked her to keep what we’d spoken about to herself. I suspect she was just trying to protect me and assumed that Angel wouldn’t say anything.”

“But by pretending you’d been on a real date?”

“Not the wisest choice, I agree. But she’s not that type of person, I can assure you. Either way, I’ll talk to her about it.”

The sincerity is obvious, both in Colin’s tone as well as in his expression, blue eyes piercing Bradley’s, and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that everything he’d assumed about Colin and Lila had been completely incorrect. The realisation fills him with unfettered joy as his chest swells and his eyes well up with unshed tears. Relief doesn’t even begin to describe how he’s feeling at this very moment.

“I am such an _idiot_ “ Bradley groans, burying his face in his hands, letting the weight of the truth settle fully over him. “God, Cols, I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been acting. Hell, I’ve been making Arthur look like an emotionally sensitive bloke in comparison. _Arthur_ , Colin. So you know it has to be bad.”

“No, you’re not, Bradley,” Colin says, then taps his chin, smirking. “Well, maybe you’re kind of an idiot. But at least it didn’t last too long, yeah?”

Bradley can’t stop himself from smiling back, acceding with a single shoulder shrug. But then Colin’s face suddenly sobers as quickly as it’d brightened.

“But just so we’re completely clear, the person I’ve fallen for is _you_ , Bradley, and no one else. There hasn’t been anyone else for a very long time.” It's no more than a whisper as Colin leans forward, a silent invitation through the warm exhale of breath, and Bradley can do nothing but fall into the gravity of his lips.

The kiss is eager, enthusiastic, as their mouths finally meet, the culmination of months of dreaming about this moment making it even better than his wildest fantasies. Colin opens his mouth to Bradley immediately, licking at his upper lip until he's granted access. Their tongues slide and dance against one another, playful, needy, teasing. Bradley's arms encircle Colin's waist, fisting in his shirt as he tries to pull Colin closer. There's too much distance between their bodies, and he needs to feel every part of him that he can. Without breaking contact, Colin shifts forward, adjusting himself so he's straddling Bradley's hips, one hand slipping beneath the front of his shirt and the other curling into his hair. Bradley shivers when Colin’s fingers brush across his chest, as heat continues to pool in his groin, and he knows he’s already painfully hard.

They continue for what feels like hours, tasting and touching and moving against one another. It is wet and hot and just a bit filthy, which is perfectly fine with Bradley. Fantastic, even. He could do this for hours, days, even months. Bradley’s hands roam around Colin’s body, exploring, wanting to touch as much as he can, before they finally settle on his arse, squeezing and pulling him down to meet the gentle thrust of Bradley’s own hips. The first time their cocks rub against one another, it is as though Bradley’s been set on fire, even with two layers of clothing between them, and he moans enthusiastically.

“Bradley, _fuck_ — I need you, I need to taste, I—” Colin groans as his fingers slip to the waistband of Bradley’s sweats.

Before he even knows what’s happening, Bradley’s – no, _Colin’s_ – sweats and boxers are pooling at his ankles, and Colin is kneeling between Bradley’s thighs, pupils blown wide and filled with such lust that the image alone is almost enough to make Bradley come. And then Colin is taking him in his mouth, and it is all Bradley can do to not thrust his hips forward with wild desperation. It’s almost too much to handle, as his head lolls back in pleasure, and Bradley has to focus on simply taking one breath, another, keep going, don’t pass out.

His hands instinctively move to fist in Colin’s hair, tugging, not enough to hurt but enough to show his enthusiasm. Colin’s hands come to rest firmly on Bradley’s hips, preventing him from thrusting too intently as he fucks Colin’s gorgeous mouth. Bradley’s breath is coming out in short stutters now, and he accidentally lets an obscenely loud moan slip past his lips that can probably be heard in every surrounding flat, and possibly even in the basement. He’s no stranger to this, but Colin is bloody _amazing_ at it, and it’s never felt quite this incredible before. Colin’s tongue is doing all sorts of wicked things and Bradley thinks that if he were to die in this very instant, he would die happier than he’s ever been.

It doesn’t take long to develop a steady rhythm, especially with the sight of Colin sucking his cock flooding his vision, and he’s close, so close to coming, when suddenly Colin pulls off him with a wet pop, grinning lecherously from his perch between Bradley’s thighs. Much to his embarrassment, Bradley hears himself whimper, his entire body protesting the loss of contact acutely. He curses loudly.

“Not here,” Colin says, as if he can read every one of Bradley’s thoughts, and presses a soft kiss to the inside of Bradley’s thigh before standing. “Come on, let’s go.”

And then Colin is tugging Bradley off the sofa, leading him by the hand as he walks towards the bedroom down the hall.

They barely make it into the bedroom before Colin has Bradley pinned against the wall, hands sliding under his shirt and pulling it off in one swift, and impressively coordinated, motion.

“Wow, that’s—” Bradley starts, but he’s cut off by Colin’s lips pressing a bruising kiss to his mouth, and he promptly forgets what he was about to say.

In a matter of seconds, Colin’s tongue plunges into his mouth, both arms wrapping around his waist, and Bradley clutches at him, craving every touch, every sensation he can get. Slipping his own hands beneath the fabric of Colin’s shirt, he manages to pry their mouths apart long enough to remove the barrier between their chests.

They stand there pressed up against the wall, a mess of lips and tongues and hands, tasting and experiencing each other with unending enthusiasm. The kiss is hot and wild, a flurry of emotions driving every touch, and Bradley thinks that they could remain like this for the rest of their lives and he would be content. 

“God, Bradley. Can I—? I want—” Colin groans, pressing further into him as he runs his tongue down the length of Bradley’s jaw and plants a wet kiss to his neck.

Anticipation rises in Bradley’s chest, sending a jolt of heat straight down to his groin.

“What do you want?” Bradley manages to force out as his head falls back against the wall, even as his fingers are clumsily fumbling with the button and zipper on Colin’s jeans.

One of Colin’s hands slips down the back of Bradley’s sweats, running over his arse and then dipping between the cheeks until Colin’s fingers brush against his sensitive opening, asking the question he hasn’t been able to verbalise. Bradley’s cock twitches and he nearly falls over with the realisation of what Colin is asking him for. The mere idea of Colin touching him, filling him in that way – fucking him open and reducing him to nothing more than a quivering mess – is enough to make him weak in the knees.

“ _Yes_ ,” he breathes, without hesitation. “Yes, Col. _Please_.”

Colin pulls back just as Bradley manages to undo his jeans, and he whines a little when the pressure of Colin’s body against his own retreats. All he wants is to feel Colin’s cock in his hands, to wrap his fingers around him and see what kind of noises he can coax Colin into making.

Taking his hand once more, Colin leads them to the bed and gently pushes Bradley down into the mattress, climbing on top of him. Soft lips trail hot kisses down Bradley’s neck and chest, every touch and every caress burning into his skin, etching the memory of Colin’s mouth into every pore of his body. Bradley moans loudly, pleasure coursing through his veins, and his hands fist in the hair at the nape of Colin’s neck as his tongue moves in wicked ways against Bradley’s chest.

He stops at the waistband of Bradley’s sweats, nuzzling his face against Bradley’s cock, rock hard and straining against the constraints just barely containing him.

“God, Colin, just—” he forces out, overcome with desire and fighting every instinct in him that begs to thrust his hips up, seeking more friction. Colin simply smiles, chuckling lightly.

In a matter of moments, Bradley finds himself stripped of the last of his clothes as Colin is fumbling to remove his own jeans and boxers, both Bradley’s body and heart laid bare and open to whatever Colin wants.

“Have you ever done this before?” Colin asks, crawling back over to lie beside Bradley on the bed, a look of concern passing briefly across his features.

“Yeah, a few times,” Bradley says, though he’d be lying if he claimed he wasn’t slightly nervous. It’s been a very long time since his last time having sex with another man, though he feels oddly embarrassed at his own inexperience.

It must come across in his voice anyway.

“Don’t worry; I’ll take good care of you, I promise. You’re going to love it, but you just have to trust me, yeah?” Colin leans in and kisses Bradley softly, thumb brushing soothingly against his jaw before pulling back, and all of his anxiety instantly melts away.

“I trust you. Completely.”

“Good,” Colin says, beaming. “Good. I’m glad.”

With a mixture of reluctance and excitement, Colin rolls off of Bradley and makes his way over to the dresser, rummaging through it before returning to the bed with lube and a condom.

For a moment, Colin sits back, staring at Bradley with something resembling wonder, and Bradley takes this temporary pause to drink in the vision before him. Colin truly is a sight to behold – all lean muscle and sharp angles, dark curls a stark contrast against his milky skin, cock thick and leaking with pre-come. A crooked smile rests on his swollen lips, hair sticking out in unruly tufts, and eyes so dark with lust that Bradley can barely make out their usual luminescent blue. He’s perfect, Bradley thinks, and not for the first time does he wonder if he’s just stepped into a dream and could wake at any moment. But then Colin is kissing him again, hot and deliciously slow, as he lowers himself onto Bradley until every inch of their bodies are pressed together, nothing but skin on skin.

Eventually, Colin pulls away, reaching back for the lube as he coats his hand with a generous amount. Tentatively, he pushes Bradley’s legs apart, brushing his finger over his opening. Bradley shudders visibly, biting back a groan.

“Just relax, yeah? I’ve got you,” Colin assures him, free hand rubbing Bradley’s thigh encouragingly, and Bradley nods.

Colin’s finger continues to trace his hole, before pressing in experimentally. Bradley clenches for a moment before letting out a shaky breath, allowing the tip to slip in. After one more successful attempt, Colin’s finger slides all the way inside, pushing past the tightness as Bradley forces himself to relax. He takes his time, stretching him wide, one finger becoming two as he opens Bradley up. It feels foreign, but not unpleasant, burning with a slow ache that has him begging for more. A third finger joins the others until Colin’s hand is buried up to the knuckles, and Bradley is almost mad with desire.

“Colin… Col, I need you inside me. Now,” Bradley attempts to command, but it ends up coming out desperate and a bit strangled instead.

The sudden loss of physical contact is only satiated by the sight of Colin, preparing himself. Bradley holds back a moan as Colin rolls the condom over his swollen cock, slicking himself with the lube, hand moving deliciously slow. For a moment, Colin’s eyes close and his head tilts back, revealing the expanse of his neck – the muscles taut and inviting – and Bradley longs to press his lips there, sucking and biting until it bruises.

When Colin finally pushes the tip of his cock past Bradley’s entrance, Bradley’s breath hitches in his throat. It’s tight, so very tight, but he wants nothing more than to feel Colin fill him until there is no distinction between where his body ends and Colin’s begins. Colin moves slowly, easing carefully inside, pulling back and then pushing in further with each gentle thrust. Bradley’s hands reach for his hips, guiding the process along until Colin’s balls are pressed flat against his arse. Their eyes lock, a silent conversation passing between them, before Colin starts to move his hips with tender care.

The pace is agonisingly slow, until they establish a rhythm, adjusting to one another for the first time. But when Bradley begins to arch his back, encouraging Colin’s movements, he takes the hint, increasing both the speed and intensity of their pace. Shifting just slightly in order to alter the angle, Colin suddenly hits something in him that causes Bradley to cry out in pleasure.

“Fuck. _Yes_. Do that. Do that again,” Bradley begs, breathless.

“Gladly,” Colin says with a satisfied smirk, jerking his hips upwards in the same manner as before. Something explodes behind his eyes, and a litany of words - _shitfuckyesthispleaseohgodyes_ \- whirl through his mind in a never-ending loop. Bradley’s hands clutch at the sheets, knuckles white as they grasp the soft material.

Wrapping his legs higher around Colin’s waist, Bradley rolls his hips upwards to meet Colin’s thrusts as they become more erratic, more frantic, desperate. At this angle, he’s hitting _that_ spot almost every single time, and Bradley feels himself slowly coming undone, pleasure soaring through him as Colin pounds into him with reckless enthusiasm. Panting heavily, a light sheen of sweat covers Colin’s body, dark hair clinging to his forehead as he quickens his pace, driving Bradley further into the soft sheets with every thrust. Bradley’s never felt so high, so utterly _blissful_ in his entire life, and he never wants this to end, wants to stay like this in this moment forever.

Tugging Colin back down, Bradley kisses him with near bruising force, teeth clacking against one another before he softens the intensity, sucking Colin’s tongue into his mouth instead. Unexpectedly, he feels Colin’s hand wrap around his cock, tugging and stroking as he continues to thrust into Bradley, and he knows they’re both close now, so gloriously close.

He jerks his hips wildly once, twice, and then Colin’s coming with a strangled cry, the sound muffled only by Bradley’s mouth on his. A moment later, Bradley joins him, stars bursting behind his eyes as he comes harder than he can ever remember, Colin’s name on his lips as he strokes Bradley through the aftershock of his climax. Bradley is wrecked, utterly wrecked, feeling overwhelmed by the pleasure and joy he feels bursting from his chest.

Colin pulls out carefully, removing and tying the end of his condom before tossing it into the rubbish bin as he staggers to his feet. There is a bit of a dull pain as Bradley repositions himself, and he knows he’ll be tender come morning, but every second was worth it, and he’ll gladly offer himself up again and again. Slipping into the bathroom, Colin returns with a damp washcloth.

“Was that okay for you?” Colin asks, nervous little smile forming on his lips as he wipes the come from Bradley’s stomach. It is such a sweet and gentle gesture, so unexpected and touching that Bradley can’t help but reach up to run his fingers down Colin’s jaw affectionately.

“It was amazing,” Bradley whispers, gazing up at Colin with a look he’s sure reveals just how much of a love-sick sap he truly is.

The grin he receives in return is nearly blinding in its intensity. “I’m glad. I told you it’d be great, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.”

Colin tosses aside the cloth once he’s finished, and climbs back into bed beside Bradley. Reaching out, Colin pulls Bradley into his arms until his head is nuzzled in the crook of Colin’s arm, face resting on his chest. Content silence falls in the air around them, their breathing slowing as sleep begins to descend.

“You can’t imagine how long I’ve dreamed about doing this with you,” Colin whispers into the dark, lips pressing into Bradley’s temple like a soft caress.

Happiness washes over Bradley, even as he fights back sleep, filling him with a warmth that extends from his cheeks right down to the tips of his toes. “Me too. You have no idea.”

The last thing Bradley is aware of before falling asleep is the tightening of Colin’s arms around his shoulders as he settles comfortably in the embrace.

~*~

The shrill ring of a mobile phone is what eventually pulls Bradley from a very deep and very contented sleep. Flinging an arm out from under the warm bed covers, Bradley gropes blindly for his phone while simultaneously trying to remember when the hell he'd actually brought it into the room in the first place.

A vague memory of stumbling out to the loo sometime in the wee hours of the morning floats back to him. That must have been the point where he retrieved it, he decides. Now if only he could find the damn thing before it makes both of them deaf.

Finally – _finally_ – his hand closes around the infernal device, and he fumbles with the buttons until he manages to hit the right one.

“'Lo?” he grumbles gruffly.

“Brad? Did I wake you?”

He tries not to groan. Really he does. But hearing his sister's perky voice, at who knows _how_ early in the morning, is a little more than he's ready to put up with at the moment.

“No. I've been up for hours,” he deadpans.

“Ha ha, very funny. It's just past ten in the morning, you know. How are you still sleeping?”

“I had a late night.”

“Doing what?”

Bradley closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Exercise.”

Technically it's true. He walked for a good three hours yesterday evening. And then, of course, there was the sex. Which they may have had a couple more times throughout the night, much to Bradley's delight.

“Seriously? Who the hell stays up late _exercising_?” She continues to grumble to herself about Bradley's general ineptness, while he takes a moment to burrow further under the covers. Colin is a warm lump beside him and he instinctively leans back, seeking more contact.

“Anyway,” Bradley cuts in, effectively ending her rant. “Was there a reason you called and woke me up, or do you just live to torture me?”

“I do not live to torture you,” she says, scoffing loudly. “That's just a nice added bonus.”

“ _Steph_ ,” he says in his warning tone of voice.

At his back, he can feel Colin shift, moving until he's pressed right up against Bradley from their shoulders down to their feet. An arm slips under his, wrapping around Bradley's waist, and he can't stop the content smile from forming on his lips as he entwines his free hand with Colin's.

“Fine. I'm sorry. I just needed to know if I left my mobile at your place when Mum and I visited the other day. I've looked _everywhere_ for it, and that's the last logical place it could be.”

“I don't know. Maybe.”

“Well, can you go and check, please?” The exasperation in her voice is obvious, as if she thinks Bradley is a complete idiot.

“I'll check later, when I actually wake up, and get back to you, all right?” He hopes that's enough. It'd better be, seeing as how he's clearly not in the hotel and doesn't particularly fancy revealing his actual location to her. Though, now that he's thinking about it, he does recall seeing a foreign mobile sitting on the end of his sofa. He'd meant to ring her about it the other day, but had been rather distracted by everything else going on and it'd slipped his mind.

But of course, this would the one time when she absolutely can't wait. “No, I really need you to check right now. There's an important message I'm waiting for and I need you to read it to me.”

“Steph, come _on_ ,” he whines.

“No. Stop complaining and just haul your lazy arse out of bed and check for me. You can roll over and go back to sleep after.”

“It's not here,” Bradley lies, even though he knows she's not going to believe him.

“Yes, it is. It _has_ to be. Just stop being so difficult, for once, and check for me. _Please_.”

He heaves a sigh. It's starting to look like he's not going to be able to weasel his way out of this one after all. “I can't, Steph.”

“You mean you _won't_. You know what—”

“No, I'm serious,” he interrupts. “I really can't get your phone for you right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because—” He chews on his bottom lip for a moment before spitting it out. “I can’t because I’m not at the hotel right now.”

“What are you talking about? You just woke up. Where the hell else would you be?”

“Out?”

She scoffs. “Out where?”

“At Colin’s flat?” he offers up as though it’s a question instead of fact.

There is a disturbingly long pause that follows, and for a moment, Bradley wonders if they were cut off. But then, he hears something resembling a snort, and his worries dissipate. “You spent the night at Colin’s and you were up late exercising… ?” There is another pause, and Bradley swears he can hear the very instant when his sister figures it out. “Oh! Oh, _God_. Shit, Brad, the visual images. I can’t even handle this. I think I need to bleach my brain. Did you have to tell me you were ‘exercising’?”

He tries not to take offense to her claim that him having sex with Colin is anything other than amazing, though he knows she’s referring to him having sex in general, which is understandable. He doesn’t exactly want to know about her sex life either, assuming she has one (which Bradley doesn’t even allow himself to consider, so obviously it must not exist). Naturally, it’s difficult to stop himself from laughing at her reaction, and even Colin chuckles softly into his neck, clearly having heard every word.

“I thought it was bloody fantastic, personally,” he says, grinning as she continues to sputter.

Colin presses a kiss to Bradley’s neck and pulls his hand free to start trailing his fingers lightly across Bradley’s chest instead. It causes Bradley to shiver and his cock to twitch in anticipation, never mind the fact that he’s been pointedly ignoring Colin’s erection poking prominently into his back for quite some time now.

“Ugh. Well, that was far too much information,” Stephanie says, once she manages to regain her composure, even though he’s barely provided her with any details whatsoever. “Anyway, I’m really happy for you, though. Glad you finally decided to man up and take what you wanted. Just, like, try not to be disgustingly obvious in front of me, all right?”

“Sure thing,” he says, holding back another amused laugh.

“Okay, so about my mobile…”

“Yeah, I’ll head back some time this afternoon and call you when I do. I think it’s on the sofa.”

“Great. Then I’ll talk to you soon.”

After he hangs up the phone and tosses it somewhere on the floor, Bradley rolls over to face Colin, tugging him closer and capturing his mouth in a wet, messy kiss.

“I assume you heard what she said about needing that message on her mobile?” Bradley murmurs when they break for air.

Colin grins wickedly, sneaking another kiss. “Mmm, yeah. Guess that means we’ve got a busy couple of hours ahead of us, yeah?”

Bradley rolls them over until he’s pinned Colin to the bed. Colin’s hair is sticking up in various places and he has the filthiest expression on his face. “I guess so,” he agrees with a matching grin, and presses their mouths together.

~*~

It takes Katie and Angel a grand total of three days to find out about Bradley and Colin’s newfound relationship.

It’s not as if they’re trying to hide anything, per se. But everything is still so new, and truth be told, they both sort of enjoy having this secret between just the two of them. They just want to wait for the perfect time to start telling people.

Which both would agree isn’t a mere few days into their romance. But, well, it has been a long-standing theory that Katie actually possesses superpowers, so they suppose it isn’t entirely impossible that she would find out about them. Especially when their behaviour is so blatantly obvious.

“Col, I swear if I have to spend another day doing nothing but fight scenes in full armour, I might just pass out. Every single muscle aches in my entire body,” Bradley whines, shifting on the too-small sofa in Colin's trailer to try and alleviate the pain.

They are curled up together on the couch on a short filming break towards the end of the day, Colin sitting at one end with Bradley’s head resting in his lap, the rest of the space filled with his stiff and sore body. Bradley’s finished for the day and out of his Arthur wardrobe, but Colin has one more scene to do before everyone can head back to the hotel.

One of Colin’s hands clutches tomorrow’s script while the other threads slowly through Bradley’s hair, gently massaging his scalp in a way that somehow seems to sooth his frayed nerves. It’s strange how affectionate Colin actually is, now that their relationship has progressed beyond that of just mates, but Bradley’s definitely not complaining.

“Are you sure it has nothing to do with the copious amounts of sex we’ve been having?” Colin teases. Bradley’s eyes are closed but he can practically _feel_ the smirk forming on Colin’s lips, the smug bastard.

“Maybe it’s the combination of the two, but I don’t think I’ve ever had to do such intense fight scenes for this many days in a row.”

“Mmm, poor baby,” Colin says, fingers still kneading his scalp.

“Damn straight. Don’t they know I need this body for things _other_ than being abused on set?”

Colin tuts disapprovingly. “We’ll have to talk to someone about that, then, won’t we?”

“Yes, we will.”

The sound of Colin's laughter does embarrassingly mushy things to Bradley's innards, and he smiles in spite of himself, feeling like a complete sap but not particularly caring.

“Roll onto your side,” Colin says, pressing lightly on Bradley's shoulder.

“Why?”

“Because I asked you to?”

Bradley huffs, but rolls over anyway, now facing the opposite side of the trailer as he settles back down in Colin's lap.

There is a brief pause while Colin flips another page of his script, before Bradley feels fingers playing at the neckline of his shirt. Then a hand slips between the fabric and his skin as Colin starts rubbing Bradley's back, tracing the curve of his spine and working his thumb into the knots at his shoulders, his touch firm yet soothing.

“What are you doing?” he asks, tentative, curious.

“You said you're sore, so since we don't have the time for anything extensive – never mind the fact that it's sort of risky – I figured this might help ease some of the pain. But you'll have to wait until tonight if you want a real massage,” Colin says casually, as though this is nothing significant. Bradley, on the other hand, thinks it's a ridiculously endearing gesture, and he loves Colin all the more for it. Plus, it feels fantastic, even if it's not doing a hell of a lot to alleviate his symptoms.

“God, you're amazing,” Bradley practically purrs, eyes slipping shut once more as he leans into the touch. “I can't believe I waited so long for this, to be with you.”

There is a little gasp, that sounds suspiciously feminine, and then, “Oh. My. _God._ “

Colin's hand stills instantly at the sound, as they both jerk their heads towards the intruder at the doorway to Colin's trailer.

 _Intruders_ , it would seem. Standing with a foot in the door is one Katie McGrath, Angel tucked in behind her shoulder. Both are staring, eyes wide and mouths literally hanging open as if they've just witnessed the most shocking sight of their lives.

“You two– you're–” Katie stammers out, pointing dramatically back and forth at each in turn, “ _Together_?”

“Katie, be quiet,” Colin says, removing his hand from Bradley's back and gesturing them inside. “Come in here, and we'll answer your questions. Just don't start screaming where people can hear you.”

Bradley sits up as the girls hurry inside, faces alight with excitement and surprise.

“So, what happened?” Katie demands, the second they're all squished inside Colin's trailer and the door is closed. Apparently whatever they came to Colin’s trailer to discuss in the first place isn’t nearly as important as this.

Glancing over at Colin, he just makes out the slight nod of his head, indicating that he's all right with the girls knowing the story. So he does, giving them the shortened version.

When he's done, Angel is grinning like a proud mother, and Katie is nearly exploding with joy.

“So, you're really together, then? Like in a shagging each other's brains out sort of way?”

“Katie!” Angel scolds, smacking her on the arm affectionately. But she still gives them an eager look, as if she's dying to hear the answer as well.

“I refuse to answer the question due to the potential for supplying you both with incriminating evidence,” Bradley says, fully aware that he's done just that.

But when Colin reaches out to grab Bradley's hand, entwining their fingers, the squealing starts up again, and he thinks that maybe it isn't so terrible that they know the truth after all.


	6. Chapter 6

“Angel, can I talk to you for a few minutes?”

It’s during a break in filming a couple of days later when Bradley pulls her aside. The rain started ten minutes ago and it doesn't look likely to dissipate any time in the near future, if the black clouds hovering directly overhead are any indication.

“Yeah, of course, Bradley,” Angel says, sidling up to him.

Thankfully the rest of the crew is a fair distance away, hovering under their own umbrellas and shelters. And with the rain pounding all around them, the likelihood of anyone overhearing their conversation is slim, by Bradley’s estimation.

“So, there's something I wanted to tell you.”

Angel nods. “All right. Well, I'm here and I'm listening, so go for it.”

This is sort of awkward, trying to have this conversation, even if Bradley is the only one who feels this way. He doesn't want to offend her, but it doesn't seem possible to share this particular information without doing just that. Still, he won't feel okay about everything until the truth is out in the open. “It's just... Last year, towards the latter half of filming series three, I'm not sure if you're aware or not. But, uh, Colin was on set. Quite a lot.” 

Her eyes narrow into thin lines. “Isn't he usually on set most of the time?”

“Yes. He is. It's just that he was on set very frequently during times when he didn't need to be there. Specifically, um, when _we_ were filming.”

Angel stares, unblinking.

“Romantic scenes,” Bradley clarifies, watching for any sign of a reaction. “He was on set while you and I were filming romantic scenes. In order to, uh, improve the sexual tension. Between us. You and I, I mean, not myself and Colin.”

Silence hangs between them, nothing but the pattering of raindrops on their umbrellas. And then Angel says, “Oh. That. Yeah, I knew about that.” Smiling as she does.

A sense of relief fills Bradley's chest, before he actually processes what she's just said. “Wait a second. You _knew_ that Colin was on set because of me?”

“Yeah. Johnny pulled me aside at one point and explained that they were trying something a bit different and wanted to see how it went.” She shrugs, but her smile holds a sheepish tone that she can't quite hide.

“Why didn't you _tell_ me what was going on?”

“Johnny asked me to keep it to myself, so it wouldn't bias his experiment.”

“He called it an ‘experiment’?”

“Well, no, not exactly. Those are my words.”

If that isn’t the most humiliating thing he’s heard in a long time, he doesn’t know what is. Then suddenly, a thought occurs to Bradley. “Did Colin know too?” He hadn’t mentioned anything about it, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t aware all the same.

Angel's eyes widen and she immediately shakes her head. “No. He definitely didn't. It was just me.”

That information comes as a relief to Bradley. “So, are you angry with me?”

“Why would I be angry?”

“Because I needed to have Colin in the room with me in order to produce chemistry between us. You're not insulted by that?”

“No, I'm not,” Angel says, reaching out to squeeze his arm affectionately. “To be honest, I think it's kind of sweet. It's not as if we don't have any chemistry. But of course it wouldn't compare when you're secretly in love with someone else.”

He's tempted to comment on that last statement, but they both know it's true, so there's not much point. “Look, I just wanted to apologise. And to let you know how much I respect and adore you. You know that, right? That I think you're great, Angel? Because you are. You’re really a wonderful friend and I thoroughly enjoy working with you.”

“Yes, Bradley. Stop being silly. I appreciate the apology, but it's not necessary. I'm not offended in the least, and you know that I adore you too.”

She reaches out to tug him into her arms, and he smiles as he wraps his free arm around her back. “Well, I'm glad. That makes me feel much better.”

“Great!” Angel is grinning at him when they pull apart, and he's grateful for having such an awesome friend and colleague in her.

A few minutes later, the rain starts to slow, and soon they're ready to film again, much to everyone’s surprise. As he goes back to his position, Bradley feels as if the final bit of weight from his shoulders has finally been lifted, and it feels really good.

* * *

** Three Months Later **

When Johnny requests a meeting with him out of the blue one day in mid-June, Bradley is absolutely certain that he’s finally figured out the truth about his and Colin’s relationship.

“What if he knows and he’s firing me for engaging in a romance on set?” he asks Colin, as they make their way inside the building that houses Johnny and the two Julians' offices.

“Then he probably would have called both of us in for a meeting, don’t you think?”

“That’s what he’d want us to believe, anyway. But if you think about it, this a clever strategy – divide and conquer. I bet he’ll fire me and then ring you up and try to do the same.”

Colin laughs loudly, shaking his head as though Bradley has gone made. “Bradley, don’t be ridiculous. First of all, there are a _lot_ of romances that have happened on set. If Johnny fired everyone for that, we’d have a new crew and new castmates every other series. Besides, even if he _did_ know about us, it isn’t as if it would be grounds for firing anyway. As long as we aren’t shagging in public when children are around, or making dirty bedroom videos that we sell online, I think we’re fine.”

Bradley’s ears perk up momentarily. “Dirty bedroom videos, you say? Are you into the kinky stuff, Col? I had no idea!”

He receives a smack on the arm and a good-natured chuckle for his efforts. “You’re an idiot. You know that, right?”

There is a brief pause in which he pretends to seriously consider it, before responding, “Yeah, but you love me anyway.”

“I do,” Colin says easily, tone affectionate. It sort of makes Bradley’s heart skip, even three months into their relationship. He seems to have that general effect on Bradley.

“Your meeting will be fine,” Colin continues with his reassurances. “I bet it has nothing to do with us at all. It probably has to do with that stunt you’re requesting to do on your own, or something along those lines.”

Colin Morgan, the voice of reason. Bradley shrugs, willing to concede the point for now, if only to quell the minor knot of anxiety in his gut.

Over the past several months, Bradley and Colin have kept their relationship a secret from virtually everyone else, save for Tony, Richard and Rupert, and of course Katie and Angel. The reactions at the time were interesting, to say the least. Richard had thrown out all kinds of kind words like ‘marvellous’ and ‘pleased’; Tony has dissolved into a fit of wheezy giggles, incoherent apart from saying ‘banter’ over and over, as if they were supposed to understand what that meant; and Rupert, well… truthfully, neither of them had intended on telling Rupert just yet. But then he’d caught them in a bit of a compromising situation, and it was sort of hard to explain away after that.

They’ve decided not to go public with anything just yet, and as such are keeping things relatively quiet. Unfortunately, they both know that it’s easier this way. The reality is that a romance between any of the primary cast members would bring about a great deal of media scrutiny. Add to that, the fact that they are the same gender, and the two most prominent faces on a show which has already garnered enough attention in regards to the ‘homoerotic subtext’ between Arthur and Merlin, and it is a potential public relations nightmare waiting to happen.

It shouldn’t matter at all, if they love one another and are happy, as far as Bradley’s concerned. But the media will exploit any relationship on set – especially one involving its two male stars – which sadly is still seen by some as being the opposite of ‘family friendly’, which _Merlin_ is supposed to be. They have images to maintain, and while Bradley is less than pleased that this is how it has to be right now, he still knows it to be true. Which is why they keep it to themselves. For now, anyway.

“Look, Bradley. Even if Johnny or the Julians or Nancy from make-up know about us, it doesn’t change the fact that we’re not doing anything wrong. Johnny didn’t call you to his office to fire you, so stop worrying and show off that confidence that I know you possess.”

Reaching out, Colin takes one of Bradley’s hands in his, squeezing firmly before releasing it once more. If there weren’t other people milling about, Bradley would grab hold of Colin’s face and kiss him. But since there are, he settles for smiling tentatively before walking the rest of the way down the hall to knock on Johnny’s door.

“Oh, Bradley. I’m glad you’re here. Take a seat,” Johnny says as soon as he enters the room, gesturing at a chair directly across from his desk. Bradley sits.

But before he even has a chance to say anything, Johnny is talking again. “So, I’m sure you’re curious as to why I called you down here to meet with me. I want to start off by assuring you that you’re not in any sort of trouble. In fact, quite the opposite, actually.”

Bradley nods, feeling the tension drain from his neck and shoulders, and he permits himself to relax. “That’s good to hear.”

Leaning forward, Johnny folds his hands and smiles. “I wanted to let you know that I was reviewing the last two blocks of episode footage the other night, and I noticed that your scenes with Angel – particularly the ones in which Gwen has fallen ill – have greatly improved. In fact, I would almost be willing to say that they’re some of the best Arthur and Gwen scenes we’ve ever filmed on the show.”

Bradley blinks, not entirely sure he’s hearing this correctly. “Thank you.” It comes out more like a question than a statement.

“You should know that you’ve always done a great job, though, and normally I wouldn’t call you over here for something like this. But considering the conversation we had back last—” A thoughtful look passes over his face momentarily. “—December, was it? Anyway, I just wanted to follow up with you to let you know that everything is going well. Your scenes with Colin and Tony have also been great. Whatever it is that you’ve been doing, keep it up.”

“Thanks. That means a lot to me,” Bradley hears himself say, before he’s even fully processed the words.

“Yes, well, I thought you deserved to hear it.”

A hand clamps down on his shoulder, and Bradley wonders when, exactly, Johnny managed to sneak around the desk without him noticing. Either way, it’s clear that the conversation is over, and this is his way of subtly, or not so subtly, trying to tell Bradley that it’s time he leaves now.

Colin is waiting for him just down the hall, tucked in beside the lifts, when Bradley emerges from Johnny’s office.

“Well? Do we both need to go fix up our CVs and start applying for new jobs?” he asks with a playful smirk.

Bradley does his best to glare, but it’s sort of impossible sometimes, when Colin’s around. “No, I think we’re good.”

“So, what happened?”

Reaching out to press the ‘down’ button for the lifts, Bradley shoots Colin an incredulous look, still internally muddling over the conversation he just had. “Would you believe me if I told you that Johnny wanted to tell me that my scenes with Angel have improved considerably, and that whatever I’m doing seems to be working?”

“Whatever you’re doing, or _who_ you’re doing?” Colin says, complete with a suggestive eyebrow waggle. Bradley sort of wants to smack him. So he does.

“Don’t be _ridiculous_ , Morgan. This has nothing to do with _you_.”

“Are you telling me I should be worried about you and Angel now?”

The lift arrives, door opening to reveal an empty compartment, and they step inside.

“Well, I’m not sure. She’s a fairly decent snog, you know,” he teases, trying to look impassive as he strokes his chin thoughtfully.

Before Bradley even knows what’s going on, Colin’s crowding his space, one hand pressed against the wall at his back and the other threading through the hair at the back of Bradley’s neck.

“As good as me?” he whispers into Bradley’s ear, warm breath sending chills down his spine as Colin’s mouth descends on him. The kiss only lasts a few moments, but it is deliciously hot, tongue sweeping past Bradley’s lips instantly and invading the heat of his mouth with reckless abandon, kissing him passionately as he presses his upper body against Bradley’s.

The world seems a little hazy when Colin pulls away, just as the lift doors open to reveal the main lobby, and it takes a few seconds for Bradley is gather his bearings once again. Colin is wearing a shit-eating grin, clearly proud of himself, but he hasn’t won the war just yet.

Bradley’s already plotting his revenge – in the form of sexual torture, of course, because Colin’s actually quite a beast in the bedroom – as he wordlessly follows him out of the building. It isn’t until they’re a couple blocks away that Bradley sidles up to Colin, fingers accidentally brushing against his as they walk.

“You’re definitely a better snog,” Bradley says at length. He feels Colin’s hand twitch against the back of his own, but they both know it’s too big of a risk, being out on the street in public like this. People rarely pay them any attention, but neither want to have their secret revealed on the cover of _The Sun_ after someone with a camera and fortunate timing catches them on film. 

“That’s good. I was getting concerned there for a moment,” Colin jokes.

“I’m sure you were.” Bradley casts Colin a sidelong glance, bumping his shoulder affectionately.

They fall in sync, a comfortable silence stretching between them as they walk down the streets of London, and Bradley thinks that he’s truly content with his life right now. His career is going well, his personal life is great, and he’s just all around happy. Sure, he and Colin have been in a couple of major rows since they started dating – and when they fight, they really go at it – but they’ve always been able to resolve things relatively quickly. Plus, the make-up sex is amazing. In fact, it’s enough to make Bradley go hard just at the memories alone.

“You know,” Colin says, cutting through his thoughts then. “Maybe we should send some flowers or a fruit basket to Johnny or something.”

“Why?”

He shrugs a shoulder lazily. “Well, if it wasn’t for him and his unintentional meddling, we might never have ended up together.”

Bradley considers this for a moment. “Good point. In fact, maybe we should buy him a car.”

“Well, I don’t know that I’d go that far,” Colin says, laughing heartily as he catches Bradley’s eye.

But Bradley’s not so sure. He thinks that Johnny deserves at least a car, if not, perhaps, something even more extravagant like a boat or an airplane. Smiling, he reaches out and curls his fingers around Colin’s wrist, thumb brushing against the soft skin he finds there, despite the fact that there are people around, and is pleasantly surprised when Colin doesn’t immediately pull away.

Bradley grins before releasing Colin’s wrist and allowing his hand to drop back to his side.

Yeah. Definitely a car, he decides.

 

**The End.**


End file.
